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Last change: 2007-10-15


Something About Me, Part 2

Here is the rest of my collected net snippets:

For easier skipping, citations containing german are marked in green

I pretend to work because the Soviet government pretends to pay me.

cerebro ~# fuser -km /wd_old
/wd_old:              5270c 12266c 12274c 12275
Suddenly the Dungeon collapses!! - You die...

From the CFA633 datasheet:

* Do not eat the LCD panel.

>> Well, in German there is no "sports" but just "Sport".
>> So by that little S at the end of sports, you could tell it's English.

It's the same in English as it is in German; the little S at the end
actually tells you it's *American*.

[better do not hire this programmer]
From: Tony Jackson <>
Newsgroups: comp.lang.c
Subject: Avoiding dereference of NULL pointer


I'm quite new to C programming - I have more of a Java background: maybe
someone here can advise me.

I'm nearly finishing a little program but it has some hard-to-find bugs
that basically lead to a couple pointers sometimes being NULL at the
wrong time. As it stands the program just bombs out when it tries to
dereference the NULL, which obviously isn't good (especially when it
happens with the customer looking on!!).

I don't think there's any serious problem to worry about, and what I'd
like to do is be able to ignore the dereference attempt and just carry
on - probably the next time round the loop the pointer will be OK. In
Java, I'd put a try block around the main loop, and if we catch an
exception then just jump back to the start of the main loop.  What's the
corresponding thing in C?


[from mozilla 1.7b sources]

// See bug 53763.
nsCOMPtr<nsIViewManager> kungFuDeathGrip;
nsIPresShell *shell = doc->GetShellAt(0);
if (shell) {
  kungFuDeathGrip = shell->GetViewManager();

[the beginning, and most common codepath, of getpid() on my linux 2.6
amd64 box in a program using glibc 2.3's pthreads. thats fucking cool]

0x000000300049af30 <getpid+0>:  mov    %fs:0x94,%edx
0x000000300049af38 <getpid+8>:  cmp    $0x0,%edx
0x000000300049af3b <getpid+11>: mov    %edx,%eax
0x000000300049af3d <getpid+13>: jle    0x300049af41 <getpid+17>
0x000000300049af3f <getpid+15>: repz retq

(A lot of this OPM stuff seems to come straight from the twilight
zone. It's normal to have error codes indicating that there was a disk
error or that a network packet got garbled, but I'm sure Windows Vista
must be the first OS in history to have error codes for things like
“display quality too high”).


Subject: Re: The right answer of -1^2 is?

> I don't think there's a real Right Way here other than reintroducing a 
> mechanism for explicitly signaling the grouping.  Maybe parentheses? ;)

Nah. Use whitespace, like Fortress. Then you can distinguish between

  x / y   *  z


  x  /  y * z

That'll *never* cause problems, right? :)

(To be fair, I like Fortress. However, it did have some, er, unique
design decisions.)

> snoofle:
> > Every system (*nix, PC's, etc.) has a hex
> > editor  with a string-search capability - really not that hard if
> > you understand what you are doing...
> Out of curiosity - what is the hex editor on a default Windows installation? 


C# is for people who want to have one arm strapped behind their back because it reduces the probability of making a mistake by 50%.

Java is for people who prefer to have the arm chopped off.

Steve Loughran: "The EU interop laws often come up in discussion, and they
are interesting. They say that you are allowed to do reverse engineering
for hardware interop. Not software: hardware."

Not sure what you're talking about, but Council Directive 91/250/EEC seems
pretty clear to me (or as clear as legal texts can be to me...):  "Article
6 Decompilation

1. The authorization of the rightholder shall not be required where
reproduction of the code and translation of its form within the meaning
of Article 4 (a) and (b) are indispensable to obtain the information
necessary to achieve the interoperability of an independently created
computer program with other programs, provided that the following
conditions are met: [...]"

Why Linux Sux ?

Easy .
Security : most hackable operating systems are unix based .
Portability : try installing unix on cutting edge hardware . bad luck it won`t work . install windows (the oldest) on any ... it will .
Help : try get help for linux . after exploring tons of sites and forums the help you got is useless . for windows you just call them .
Applications : we all know there are more and more on windows . linux will probably never get so many .
GUI : we know how customisable is the windows gui . and how stable .
Gaming : ...anyone got an ideea of a linux game that is really cool ?
Cost : install linux as server ... it is free no ? but you have to pay a sysadmin . or learn a lot . buy a lot of books . using windows ... just click next . if you are not dumb you might make it secure too (reading help does HELP! ) .
Virus : due to the fact that windows is so flexible it is logcal to have viruses . afterall the human body has more than a monkeys one .
Stability : reboot windows 100 times by using the case button . perhaps a scandisk will appear . reboot linux ... ups kernel panic .

You don`t have money for OS ? Work ! Oh you hate miscrosoft and bill gates
no ? Sure thing ... stupid and lazy people generally hate smart and hard
working ones . Screw linux users .

19:26:03 <schmorp> did you know the us is officially metric? for over 100 years, too?
19:26:27 -cfbot:#cf- [moerderer] it is also officially a democracy, go figure
19:26:34 <schmorp> good point :)

> The Dell 30"...

It is big, but some of the reviews have not been so glowing, or rather,
the glowing has been highly asymmetric.

Re: USA- an underdeveloped country with potentials      

> > u don´t use your wealth with responsibility, you only think about yourself and shrug your shoulders with comments like, "we all have the same chance", I´m a selfmade man", "everyone has to take care of themselves".
> yeah, that's why your little brothers decided to save the world - including your grandparents' sorry asses - from hitler, because we think only of ourselves!
> your welcome, pinhead!
Even though I´m tired of hearing "we saved your a *beep* during ww2 I will respond.

1. Did you? Or did your great grandfathers? Maybe they were better?
2. You came into the war very late, and that was strictly for buisness reasons. You need countries to trade with. The true hero in WW2 was actually Russia doing alot more then US ever did, not saying that I support Russia today.
3. One good thing in the past doesn´t make up for bad things in your society today.
4. With those retorics you will never learn anything from your own mistakes since you always can go back and talk about your effort 100 years ago. 

[discussion about some changes in windows longhorn]
Let's hope that some day Microsoft will catch up to what the
public-domain tz code was doing back in 1986.  (Good work, Arthur!)

ntfs ist dennoch für datei und ordnersicherheit zuständig.

Zum Beispiel unter Linux wenn man auf fat32 festplatten zugreifen will ist
es kein problem, wenn man aber die festplatte auf ntfs convertiert hat,
dann funktioniert dass nicht mehr der zugriff auf die festplatte.

Denn das ist die sicherheit vor zugriffen auf daten von anderen usern und
anderen betriebssystemen.

Habe fat32 festplatte gehabt(zugriff von linux möglich) dann habe ich es
auf ntfs umconvertiert und dann ging es nicht mehr.

habe nochmal in meinen unterlagen nachgeschlagen, haben erst ca. vor 3
Wochen die Unterlagen vom Lehrer bekommen und ich sag nochmal, zittiere
Lehrer: Fat32 sollte man heutzutage nicht mehr verwenden außer man hat
Windows 98 und man möchte Dualbootkonfiguration erzielen. NTFS ist
einfach für bessere Sicherheit zuständig.

Hast du Windows und Linux beides auf deinem Laptop oder Standpc?
Wenn ja hattest du vorher eine fat32 festplatte?
Hast du sie dann auf ntfs umconvertiert?

Freundlichen Grüße von Vista-Ultimate-Besitzer

"In this time of war against Osama bin Laden and the oppressive
Taliban regime, we are thankful that OUR leader isn't the spoiled son
of a powerful politician from a wealthy oil family who is supported by
religious fundamentalists, operates through clandestine organizations,
has no respect for the democratic electoral process, bombs innocents,
and uses war to deny people their civil liberties." --The Boondocks

19:35:41 <elmex> dieses 'restore session' is soo sinnlos bei firefox
19:35:54 <elmex> wenn die webseite die ihn gecrasht hat immer weieder crasht
19:36:18 <schmorp> tja, bei mir restored er trotz einstellung nie etwas
19:36:24 <schmorp> fragt sich wer mehr glück hat

What has happened is that Dave Winer got off a rant against JSON as
reinventing XML's (and more specifically XML-RPC's) wheel:

    God bless the re-inventers

    Gotta love em, because there's no way they're going to stop breaking
    what works, and fixing what don't need no fixing

Crockford gets off a very pithy response: 

    The good thing about reinventing the wheel is that you can get a round

The dot3StatsEtherChipSet object has now been deprecated.
Implementation feedback indicates that this object is much more
useful in theory than in practice.

15:40:51 <elmex> son buero is faszinierend
15:41:08 <elmex> staendig hoerste leute seuftzen und jammern, und in 90% der faelle hats 
                 mit windows zu tun
15:41:15 <elmex> oder mit software die dort laeuft
15:41:37 <elmex> irgendwem is heut mrogen die mail inbox verloren gegangen
15:41:47 <elmex> und hat sie dann wiedergefunden
15:41:49 <elmex> irgendwie
15:41:50 <elmex> irgendwo
15:42:07 <elmex> achja, und backups gabs auch keine mehr, seit sich die passwoerter 
                 geaendert haben :->
15:42:19 <elmex> (also seit wenigen tagen)
15:47:10 <elmex> es ist auch erstaunlich wie wenig arbeit eigentlich so erledigt wird nach 
15:47:48 <elmex> (mit ausnahmen)
15:48:13 <elmex> aber 50-80% der zeit wird mit kommunikation verbracht

The SparcStation2 technical docs recommend catting your /vmunix file to /dev/audio as a speaker test.
If you go nearly deaf from the painful noise, then your speaker works.

Strictly for beginners

Techniques you might not be aware of if you have not been programming for the past 15 years of your life:

17:34:47 <elmex> hab gehoert solaris soll GPL werden, oder zumindest denkt sun drueber nach :->:
17:34:53 <schmorp> ja klar
17:34:57 <schmorp> alles was lebenszeitende hat
17:34:58 <schmorp> wird gpl
17:35:02 <schmorp> weil sie denken, dann wirds übelreben
17:35:05 <schmorp> bei mozilla hats auch gwekappt
17:35:08 <elmex> hehe
17:35:13 <schmorp> und die brrowserentwicklung unter linux locker ein jahr verzögert
17:35:46 <elmex> dann kann joerd schilling ja endlich sein lieblings system entwickeln :-
17:35:48 <elmex> :->
17:35:58 <schmorp> macht er doch schon die ganze zeit
17:36:02 <schmorp> chillingos, bzw.
17:36:18 <elmex> uh
17:36:53 <schmorp> ich finds nicht mehr
17:36:57 <schmorp> er arbeitet jedenfalls dran
17:38:27 <schmorp> SchilliX
17:38:29 <schmorp> genau!
17:38:30 <schmorp> :)
17:38:33 <elmex> sueees
17:38:34 <schmorp>
17:39:59 <zaphod> omg das ist nicht wahr
17:40:20 <schmorp> ihr kennt die geheimnisse und wunder unserer welt nicht
17:40:32 <zaphod> das kann bestimmt CDs brennen wie nix anderes
17:40:42 <elmex> lol
17:41:06 <schmorp> :)

[A Gentoo User]
First FreeBSD is UNIX. Yes FreeBSD runs beter then all other Linux
distro’s but FreeBSD lacks any graphical features(stolen linux features
doesn’t count) so it is only ment for guys with an old grey beards.
[...] That’s why for geeks/nerds/professionals (like me) bsd exists [...]
Gentoo is ment for professionals that need a system for a really exact
environment and think LFS is to much work.

20:08 <schmorp> my guess is, purely practically
20:08 <schmorp> if copyright/patent law continues to go away from the original reasons
20:08 <schmorp> that they were created for
20:08 <schmorp> you will at one point have a civil war
20:08 <schmorp> right now, you already have large-scale civil disobedience
20:10 <scortch> i very much hope that it can be turned around before that happens. not the 
                least reason is, in a Blade Runner dystopia, there isnt a lot that individuals 
                can do
20:11 <scortch> i.e. militarily
20:11 <scortch> ah wait.
20:12 <scortch> we are forgetting that low technology solutions are always around
20:12 <schmorp> terrorism :)
20:12 <schmorp> now i finally see the whole plot
20:13 <scortch> that's quite a story

23:49 <ruskie> in my experience apart from a few exceptions all gentoo people are rude
23:58 <Err> it seems logical that there is a strong correlation 
            between (people who  like to waste their time, and their computer's 
            processing time, rebuilding  things that have been built a million 
            times before) and (idiots)
23:58 <Err> (parenthesized for easy parsing ;-) )
23:59 <Err> there are certainly exceptions to every rule - but in 
            general, gentoo  users think that they're getting magical properties 
            out of rebuilding the  same code everybody else builds

Bruce Schneier decrypted the Bible. The plaintext read, "Bruce Schneier".


Internet Explorer: KB329781 "HTTP File Upload Operation Takes a Long Time
to Complete".  The printing subsystem: KB816627 "TCP/IP port printing may
be slow in Windows 2000"

In the first KB microsoft amusingly states in relation to the fact that
upload speed is limited to 80kbps no matter what the network bandwidth
that "this behaviour is by design". The mind boggles...

[so much for type-safety]
List<Integer> lst = new ArrayList<Integer>;
int x = 1 + lst.get(0);

[just for reference]
Wenn man weiss, dass man in seinem Leben nicht mehr Glücklich werden
kann, und sich von Tag zu Tag die Gründe dafür häufen, dann bleibt
einem nichts anderes übrig als aus diesem Leben zu verschwinden. Und
dafür habe ich mich entschieden. Es gibt vielleicht Leute die hätten
weiter gemacht, hätten sich gedacht "das wird schon", aber das wird
es nicht.

Man hat mir gesagt ich muss zur Schule gehen, um für mein leben zu
lernen, um später ein schönes Leben führen zu können. Aber was bringt
einem das dickste Auto, das grösste Haus, die schönste Frau, wenn es
letztendlich sowieso für’n Arsch ist. Wenn deine Frau beginnt dich zu
hassen, wenn dein Auto Benzin verbraucht das du nicht zahlen kannst, und
wenn du niemanden hast der dich in deinem scheiss Haus besuchen kommt!

Das einzigste was ich intensiv in der Schule beigebracht bekommen habe
war, das ich ein Verlierer bin. Für die ersten jahre an der GSS stimmt
das sogar, ich war der Konsumgeilheit verfallen, habe danach gestrebt
Freunde zu bekommen, Menschen die dich nicht als Person, sondern als
Statussymbol sehen. Aber dann bin ich aufgewacht! Ich erkannte das die
Welt wie sie mir erschien nicht existiert, das sie eine Illusion war,
die hauptsächlich von den Medien erzeugt wurde. Ich merkte mehr und
mehr in was für einer Welt ich mich befand. Eine Welt in der Geld alles
regiert, selbst in der Schule ging es nur darum. Man musste das neuste
Handy haben, die neusten Klamotten, und die richtigen "Freunde". hat
man eines davon nicht ist man es nicht wert beachtet zu werden. Und diese
Menschen nennt man Jocks. Jocks sind alle, die meinen aufgrund von teuren
Klamotten oder schönen Mädchen an der Seite über anderen zu stehen. Ich
verabscheue diese Menschen, nein, ich verabscheue Menschen.

Ich habe in den 18 Jahren meines Lebens erfahren müssen, das man nur
Glücklich werden kann, wenn man sich der Masse fügt, der Gesellschaft
anpasst. Aber das konnte und wollte ich nicht. Ich bin frei! Niemand darf
in mein Leben eingreifen, und tut er es doch hat er die Konsequenzen zu
tragen! Kein Politiker hat das Recht Gesetze zu erlassen, die mir Dinge
verbieten, Kein Bulle hat das Recht mir meine Waffe wegzunehmen, schon gar
nicht während er seine am Gürtel trägt.

Wozu das alles? Wozu soll ich arbeiten? Damit ich mich kaputtmaloche um
mit 65 in den Ruhestand zugehen und 5 Jahre später abzukratzen? Warum
soll ich mich noch anstrengen irgendetwas zu erreichen, wenn es
letztendlich sowieso für'n Arsch ist weil ich früher oder später
krepiere? Ich kann ein Haus bauen, Kinder bekommen und was weiss ich
nicht alles. Aber wozu? Das Haus wird irgendwann abgerissen, und die
Kinder sterben auch mal. Was hat denn das Leben bitte für einen
Sinn? Keinen! Also muss man seinem Leben einen Sinn geben, und das
mache ich nicht indem ich einem überbezahlten Chef im Arsch rumkrieche
oder mich von Faschisten verarschen lasse die mir erzählen wollen wir
leben in einer Volksherrschaft. Nein, es gibt für mich jetzt noch eine
Möglichkeit meinem Leben einen Sinn zu geben, und die werde ich nicht wie
alle anderen zuvor verschwenden! Vielleicht hätte mein Leben komplett
anders verlaufen können. Aber die Gesellschaft hat nunmal keinen Platz
für Individualisten. Ich meine richtige Individualisten, Leute die
slebst denken, und nicht solche 'Ich trage ein Nietenarmband und bin
alternativ' Idioten!

Ihr habt diese Schlacht begonnen, nicht ich. Meine Handlungen sind ein
Resultat eurer Welt, eine Welt die mich nicht sein lassen will wie ich
bin. Ihr habt euch über mich lustig gemacht, dasselbe habe ich nun mit
euch getan, ich hatte nur einen ganz anderen Humor! Von 1994 bis 2003/2004
war es auch mein Bestreben, Freunde zu haben, Spass zu haben. Als ich
dann 1998 auf die GSS kam, fing es an mit den Statussymbolen, Kleidung,
Freunde, Handy usw.. Dann bin ich wach geworden. Mir wurde bewusst das
ich mein Leben lang der Dumme für andere war, und man sich über mich
lustig machte. Und ich habe mir Rache geschworen! Diese Rache wird so
brutal und rücksichtslos ausgeführt werden, dass euch das Blut in den
Adern gefriert. Bevor ich gehe, werde ich euch einen Denkzettel verpassen,
damit mich nie wieder ein Mensch vergisst! Ich will das ihr erkennt, das
niemand das Recht hat unter einem faschistischen Deckmantel aus Gesetz und
Religion in fremdes Leben einzugreifen!

Ich will das sich mein Gesicht in eure Köpfe einbrennt! Ich will
nicht länger davon laufen! Ich will meinen Teil zur Revolution der
Ausgestossenen beitragen!

Ich will R A C H E !

Ich habe darüber nachgedacht, dass die meisten der Schüler die mich
gedemütigt haben schon von der GSS abgegangen sind. Dazu habe ich zwei
Dinge zu sagen:

1. Ich ging nicht nur in eine klasse, nein, ich ging auf die ganze Schule.

   Die Menschen die sich auf der Schule befinden, sind in keinem Falle
   unschuldig! Niemand ist das! In deren Köpfen läuft das selbe Programm
   welches auch bei den früheren Jahrgängen lief! Ich bin der Virus der
   diese Programme zerstören will, es ist völlig irrelewand wo ich da

2. Ein Grossteil meiner Rache wird sich auf das Lehrpersonal richten,
   denn das sind Menschen die gegen meinen Willen in mein Leben eingegriffen
   haben, und geholfen haben mich dahin zu stellen, wo ich jetzt stehe; Auf
   dem Schlachtfeld! Diese Lehrer befinden sich so gut wie alle noch auf
   dieser verdammten schule!

Das Leben wie es heute täglich stattfindet ist wohl das armseeligste was
die Welt zu bieten hat!

S.A.A.R.T. - Schule, Ausbildung, Arbeit, Rente, Tod

Das ist der Lebenslauf eines "normalen" Menschen heutzutage. Aber
was ist eigentlich normal? Als normal wird das bezeichnet, was von der
Gesellschaft erwartet wird. Somit werden heutzutage Punks, Penner,
Mörder, Gothics, Schwule usw. als unnormal bezeichnet, weil sie den
allgemeinen Vorstellungen der Gesellschaft nicht gerecht werden, können
oder wollen. Ich scheiss auf euch! Jeder hat frei zu sein! Gebt jedem
eine Waffe und die Probleme unter den Menschen lösen sich ohne jedliche
Einmischung Dritter. Wenn jemand stirbt, dann ist er halt tot. Und? Der
Tod gehört zum Leben! Kommen die Angehörigen mit dem Verlust nicht klar,
können sie Selbstmord begehen, niemand hindert sie daran!

S.A.A.R.T. beginnt mit dem 6. Lebensjahr hier in Deutschland, mit der

Das Kind begibt sich auf seine perönliche Sozialisationsstrecke, und
wird in den darauffolgenden Jahren gezwungen sich der Allgemeinheit, der
Mehrheit anzupassen. Lehnt es dies ab, schalten sich Lehrer, Eltern,
und nicht zuletzt die Polizei ein. Schulpflicht ist die Schönrede von
Schulzwang, denn man wird ja gezwungen zur Schule zu gehen. Wer gezwungen
wird, verliert ein Stück seiner Freiheit. Man wird gezwungen Steuern zu
zahlen, man wird gezwungen Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzungen einzuhalten, man
wird gezwungen dies zu tun, man wird gewzungen das zu tun. Ergo: Keine
Freiheit! Und sowas nennt man dann Volksherrschaft. Wenn das Volk hier
herrschen würde, hiesse es Anarchie!


Nach meiner Tat werden wieder irgendwelche fetten Politiker dumme
Sprüche klopfen wie "Wir halten nun alle zusammen" oder "Wir
müssen gemeinsam versuchen dies durchzustehen". Doch das machen
sie nur um Aufmerksmakeit zu bekommen, um sich selbst als die Lösung
zu präsentieren. Auf der GSS war es genauso... niemals lässt
sich dieses fette Stück Scheisse von Rektorin blicken, aber wenn
Theater-aufführungen sind, dann steht sie als erste mit einem breiten
Grinsen auf der Bühne und präsentiert sich der Masse!

Nazis, HipHoper, Türken, Staat, Staatsdiener, Gläubige... einfach alle
sind zum kotzen und müssen vernichtet werden! (Den begriff "Türken"
benutze ich für alle HipHopMuchels und Kleingangster; Sie kommen nach
Deutschland weil die Bedingungen bei ihnen zu hause zu schlecht sind,
weil Krieg ist... und dann kommen Sie nach Deutschland, dem Sozialamt der
Welt, und lassne hier die Sau raus. Sie sollten alle vergast werden! Keine
Juden, keine Neger, keine Holländer, aber Muchels! ICH BIN KEIN SCHEISS
NAZI) Ich hasse euch und eure Art! Ihr müsst alle sterben!

Seit meinem 6. Lebensjahr wurde ich von euch allen verarscht! Nun müsst
ihr dafür bezahlen!

Weil ich weiss das die Fascholizei meine Videos, Schulhefte, Tagebücher,
einfach alles, nicht veröffentlichen will, habe ich das selbst in die
Hand genommen.

Als letztes möchte ich den Menschen die mir was bedeuten, oder die jemals
gut zu mir waren, danken, und mich für all dies Entschuldigen!

Ich bin weg...

01:14 <scortch> its an NP hard  for computers
01:14 <elmex> no, it's NP hard for anyone

19:18 <elmex> schmorp: eben anner kasse stand jemadn hinter mir und faselte mit seinen 
              kumpels zum thema bill gates: "... er ist ja mein vorbild, nicht jetzt 
              wegen dem geld, sondern wegen dem charakterlichen und so ... der hat ja 
              die haelfte seines vermoegens gespendet.... und ne jacht hat der auch... 
              abe was fuer eine... voll fettes schiff...'
19:19 <schmorp> *rofl*
19:19 <schmorp> aber nicht wegem dme geld
19:19 <elmex> der studiert glaub ich informatik :)
19:19 <elmex> das is die neue generation
19:19 <elmex> 'generation gates'
19:19 <schmorp> die frage schiene mcirosoft oder schiene java erübrigt sich

[The reason I left Perl 6]

The virtue of social art was extinguished when the solutions that I had
worked for weeks on and I considered truly beautiful lost to syntax
bloat and "DWIM tables". It bascially came down to the rest of the team
considering Perl much more pragmatically than I did, which may end up
better for the end result anyway—it is hard to tell.

00:20 <schmorp> Mikachu: xjdic lists ぶっかける as to dash (slosh) water (or other liquid)onapersonorinaperson'sface
00:21 <Mikachu> yeah, that made me laugh a bit
00:21 <Mikachu> "or other liquid, know what i mean, nudge nudge"

[very funny read]

Now that habeas corpus and other basic rights, including the right not to
be tortured while interrogated, have now been deemed unnecessary, more
Americans than ever have been thinking of getting out the door while they
still can.

23:52 <elmex> Zaehlen sie die wichtigsten Berufsfelder der IT-Branche auf: 
              Java-code-affe, Bussiness-scheisse-laber-affe, Windows-admin, 
              Windows-user, echter Admin und echter Programmierer.

[without words]

We're in the twilit world of the "thought crime." Have a photo of a kid in
a bath on your hard drive, and the prosecutor says you were looking at it
with lust in your heart, and that is tantamount to sexually molesting an
actual kid in an actual bath.

Don't put stock in the Constitution, anymore.  It IS just a piece of paper,
today (actually, since Oct 17th).  The Military Commissions Act of 2006
makes the Constitution null and void.  You (regardless of your citizenship)
may be held with no charges, for no reason, for an indefinite time, with
absolutely no judicial oversight.  It is completely legal for the
government to pick you up and for you to disappear with no one ever knowing
what happened to you.

Markus Schulz

A: Because it breaks the logical sequence of discussion
Q: Why is top posting bad?

On Mon, Sep 18, 2006 at 02:05:19AM +0200, Roman Zippel wrote:
> 1. It's not that I don't want to, but I _can't_ implement kprobes and not 
> due to lack of skills, but lack of resources. (There is a subtle but 
> important difference.)

Um, given the amount of time you've spent trying to pursuade us why
you can't implement kprobes for m68k, perhaps you would have
implemented it already if you had buckled down and started coding
instead of flaming about why everyone else should bend over backwards
just because you don't have time for your arch?   :-)

                                                - Ted

"I want to see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus
Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam. I want to see them
as radically laying down their lives for the gospel as they are over in
Pakistan and Israel and Palestine and all those different places... Excuse
me, but we have the truth!"

[Meijin Title Game #3, Takao Shinji vs. Cho U]
(22) archimed [18k?]: actually, what are considered to be their respective strengths?
(22) zephi [ 7k+]: takao's strength is kickin cho u's butt
(22) zephi [ 7k+]: cho u's a big fighter

[nethack extinctionist faq]
The first "extinctionist" ascension on r.g.r.n. (at least from what I can
tell) seems to have been by Matthew Bourland in 2000, who although he
didn't actually kill everything, certainly genocided all (at the time) 256
monster types that were genocidable. Then, after that he extincted all
other randomly generated monsters. On the other hand, having 120 kills
in every category is perhaps more noteworthy (or foolhardy?) than simply
genociding every monster.

I'd recommend a dose of both. Kill them until they're dead and then
genocide them for good measure!
[nethack instadeath faq]

* eating Death, Famine, Pestilence, Medusa, or green slime corpses

Well let's face it, this is just plain stupid. So don't do it!

17:57 <zaphod> Murch: Stroemungslehre ist geil
17:57 <Murch> zaphod: hm?
17:57 <zaphod> Murch: "Diese Gleichungen sind, zumindest aus der Sicht eines 
               Ingenieurs, als exakt anzusehen."
17:58 <Murch> lol

22:51 -cfbot:#cf- [Wrathmagic] oh i love killing pirates yes i do i love stabbing them through and through

[Brazil and Bush’s War on Terror]

There was time when badware developers tried to install ad pages as homepage
or searchpage in user’s IE by any possible means. Nowadays users install
adware voluntarily and write news about it. True web2.0 style!

At the United Nations today President George W. Bush
announced a proposal to unify all the world's time zones
into a single Universal Time Zone (UTZ), formerly known as
the Eastern Time Zone.
Britain immediately supported the US plan. "If it means
sleeping in broad daylight then we'll stick with our
allies," said Tony Blair, "Of course there's never broad
daylight in the UK, so it's not much of an issue."

Wow, and this in security-relevant code... (taken from libc's

      = &"/var/tmp\0/var/profile"[__libc_enable_secure ? 9 : 0];

By January 1st, 2007, everyone crossing the border between the U.S. and Canada is supposed to have
a passport.  This is because of terrorism, of course.  But now we learn that ferries and private
watercraft will be exempt.  One of two things is true.  Either passports are required for
security, in which case we should interfere with ferries.  Or they're for show, in which case we
can just do what's convenient.  Or maybe we just know that terrorists never take ferries.  I get
that security is a trade-off, but this is kind of silly.

[famous last words]
11:22 <kaizoku> what do you mean by *plonk*?

What make a provider a tier 2, versus a tier 1 provider...

"We are a tier 1 provider" = "I am a salesperson."

"They are a tier 2 provider." = "I am a salesperson and they are our competitor".

Jay Hennigan

[latimes story about a man returning to the us from iraq and being
held for selling copyrighted images on t-shirts by the department
of homeland security]

"Some other types of programs won't make the transition to Windows x64
seamlessly, either. Microsoft ships WinXP x64 with two versions of 
Internet Explorer, a 32-bit version and a 64-bit version. The 32-bit
version is the OS default because nearly all ActiveX controls and the like
are 32-bit code, and where would we be if we couldn't execute the full
range of spyware available to us?"


00279     if( pEvent->xkey.state & KKeyServer::modXNumLock() ) {
00280         // TODO: what's the xor operator in c++?

<Mikachu> give a man a fix and he's running urxvt one day, teach a man 
          to fix and he will run urxvt all his life

The NSA Phone Call Database: The European Perspective

Oh, I agree completely. No game has ever let me down the way Oblivoin
did. I"m still hoping mods and expansions will fix it but there's no way
I'm pre-ordering the next one. I'm afraid it really will be a first person

The really scary thing is that it's not just video games. Book sales were
done last year because people just don't read as much anymore. I'm having
to dumb down my newspaper editorials because people used to want analysis
they could use to make their own opinions, now they seem to just want
opinions they can quote without having to think for themselves. McDonalds
puts pictures of the food on the cash register instead of numbers.

Face it. The human race is devolving. In 500 years the best selling RPG
in the universe will be a console game where you roleplay an ape named
Fred, swing on vines and throw your own excrement. You'll have one stat,
apeness. It wiill effect everything you do in a subtle, yet unexplained

And Bethesda fan boys will be screaming "TES 504: Monkeypoo good. You go
bak cave, no good rpger. Two stats bad. Made feces throw too hard. Shiney
key graphic good. Make me happy."

*shrugs* But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

> So Hitler was a pacifist because he let other people kill for him?  Most
> D&D computer games require you to kill people (not simply knock them
> out). Also just because you don't kill doesn't make you a pacifist (see
> above comment about Hitler).

I invoke the European rule: In any given argument, the first side to
mention Hitler loses.

[siggraph '99 course 12]
Unfortunately, including <windows.h> has the unfortunate side effect of
introducing literally thousands of macros and type declarations into
your compilation environment. This undesirable "name space pollution"
can sometimes affect source code portability by conflicting with your
program's own macros and types.  This can particularly be a problem for
UNIX programmers that are not familiar with all the junk that comes with
including <windows.h>.
Win32's requirement that you use wglGetProcAddress is a real drag,
but if you do everything right, using OpenGL extensions works and
gives you access to amazing new OpenGL features. And let's be honest;
wglGet- ProcAddress is hardly the only annoying and awkward thing about
programming with the Win32 API. Still, by using the C preprocessor and
coding carefully, you actually can write OpenGL programs that use OpenGL
extensions and compile from the same source code for both UNIX and Win32

"It's easier to rig an electronic voting machine than a Las Vegas slot machine"

[CRYPTO-GRAM 2006-03-15]
[...] There are all sorts of interests vying for control of your
computer. There are media companies that want to control what you can
do with the music and videos they sell you. There are companies that
use software as a conduit to collect marketing information, deliver
advertising or do whatever it is their real owners require. And there are
software companies that are trying to make money by pleasing not only
their customers, but other companies they ally themselves with. All these
companies want to own your computer.

Some examples:

1. Entertainment software: In October 2005, it emerged that Sony had
distributed a rootkit with several music CDs -- the same kind of
software that crackers use to own people's computers. This rootkit
secretly installed itself when the music CD was played on a computer.
Its purpose was to prevent people from doing things with the music that
Sony didn't approve of: It was a DRM system. If the exact same piece of
software had been installed secretly by a hacker, this would have been
an illegal act. But Sony believed that it had legitimate reasons for
wanting to own its customers' machines.
2. Antivirus: You might have expected your antivirus software to detect
Sony's rootkit. After all, that's why you bought it. But initially, the
security programs sold by Symantec and others did not detect it,
because Sony had asked them not to. You might have thought that the
software you bought was working for you, but you would have been wrong.

3. Internet services: Hotmail allows you to blacklist certain e-mail
addresses, so that mail from them automatically goes into your spam
trap. Have you ever tried blocking all that incessant marketing e-mail
from Microsoft? You can't.

4. Application software: Internet Explorer users might have expected
the program to incorporate easy-to-use cookie handling and pop-up
blockers. After all, other browsers do, and users have found them
useful in defending against Internet annoyances. But Microsoft isn't
just selling software to you; it sells Internet advertising as well. It
isn't in the company's best interest to offer users features that would
adversely affect its business partners.

5. Spyware: Spyware is nothing but someone else trying to own your
computer. These programs eavesdrop on your behavior and report back to
their real owners -- sometimes without your knowledge or consent --
about your behavior.

6. Update: Automatic update features are another way software companies
try to own your computer. While they can be useful for improving
security, they also require you to trust your software vendor not to
disable your computer for nonpayment, breach of contract or other
presumed infractions.

Adware, software-as-a-service and Google Desktop search are all
examples of some other company trying to own your computer. And Trusted
Computing will only make the problem worse.

There is an inherent insecurity to technologies that try to own
people's computers: They allow individuals other than the computers'
legitimate owners to enforce policy on those machines. These systems
invite attackers to assume the role of the third party and turn a
user's device against him.
You can fight back against this trend by only using software that
respects your boundaries. Boycott companies that don't honestly serve
their customers, that don't disclose their alliances, that treat users
like marketing assets. Use open-source software -- software created and
owned by users, with no hidden agendas, no secret alliances and no
back-room marketing deals.

[John Carmack on Java]
Write-once-run-anywhere. Ha. Hahahahaha. We are only testing on four
platforms right now, and not a single pair has the exact same quirks. All
the commercial games are tweaked and compiled individually for each
(often 100+) platform. Portability is not a justification for the awful


"Wenn ich höre, dass die Telekom mit Microsoft kooperiert, da wird mir
ganz anders", sagte Herbert Tillmann, der Vorsitzende der Produktions-
und Technikkommission von ARD und ZDF dem Blatt. Man bevorzuge offene
Standards und wolle sich der Plattform von Microsoft nicht ausliefern.

"Ok, this is complete off topic but WHY do so many Americans think that
once your cross the 49th parellel into Canada that they are going out into
a technology- and civilization-free zone???"

When Direct3D was released in 1995, Microsoft, SGI, and Hewlett-Packard
initiated the Fahrenheit project, which was a joint effort with the
goal of unifying the OpenGL and Direct3D interfaces - and again, adding
a scene-graph API. It initially showed some promise of bringing order
to the world of interactive 3D computer graphics APIs, but on account
of financial constraints at SGI and general lack of industry support
it was abandoned. The engineers involved at SGI held a beach party in
celebration - complete with bonfires on which they burned piles of
Fahrenheit documentation.

[Whenever I try to use svn, it fails me. Sure I modified files, but whats
the point of a RCS system that can't cope with that? Besides, I am 100%
sure its much slower than CVS]
cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn switch
svn: Won't delete locally modified directory '.'
svn: Left locally modified or unversioned files
[Exit 1] 
cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn switch
svn: Working copy 'i18n' is missing or not locked
[Exit 1] 
cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn diff
svn: Working copy 'i18n' is missing or not locked
[Exit 1] 
[Great, my local fixes are lost now, too. Whoever let this horror loose on
humanity deserves to be shot or something like that]


... I'm evaluating a bunch of J2EE portlet-enabled JSR-compliant MVC
role-based CMS web service application container frameworks. ...

Subject: RE: Question about Leap Second Features

> Is there any implementation for this information on Microsoft operating
> systems ?

Any Microsoft operating system that is accurate down to the second can
probably be hand-picked from Bill Gates' garage ... ;-)



"As far as I can tell, the phrase 'I. Love. This. Company.

    ~ Oscar Wilde on Steve Ballmer having four words for you.


You've doubled the work. People don't like that. People REALLY don't
like that. The number of duplicate bugs filed against the chooser is
evidence for this. Furthermore, click depth is a standard metric for
measuring HCI usability, and this dialog has moved in the absolute wrong
direction. People won't be satisfied until they get the entry box back
into the dialog. You can grind your teeth and pull your hair all you want,
but that's the truth.


Braun Ludwig <> wrote:

> 1. Ufos sind für mich Flugobjekte des US Militärs mit einen neuartigen 
> Atrieb, der mit einen Motorgenerator von ca 100000 Volt und einer 
> Stromstärke von ca 2 mA, einer elektronischen Steuereinheit und einer 
> Antriebseinheit auf Kondensator Basis betrieben wird. Zur Erklärung des 

Aaha! Naja, die Elektrogravitation ist wirklich seit langem bekannt. Damit aber
einen Antrieb zu realisieren halte ich für weniger wahrscheinlich. So abstrakt
ist diese Funktion nicht und es wären schon mehr als ein Mensch dahinter
gekommen. Ich sicher auch.

Allerdings schreibst Du hier von einem Generator. Es stellt sich die Frage
was genau man mit 2 mA erzeugen will. Jeder Paralyzer schafft das mit
der Hälfte der Spannung auch. Ich habe aber noch kein Opfer schweben
gesehen. Im Gegenteil - die bewegen sich eigentlich immer ziemlich schnell
in Richtung Boden.


> Dieser Ufo Flugzeug Typ wird in erster Linie als Spionage und 
> Aufklärungsflugobject eingesetzt.

Verstehe. Was ist in Afrika so interessant? Bekanntlich gibt oder gab es
da bisher die überwiegenden Sichtungen. Was will z.B. der Ami von den
Eingeborenen erfahren? Wie man richtig Reis oder Getreide kocht?


> 2. ausserirdische Ufo Flugobjekte.
> Es gibt maximal 1 oder 2 oder drei ausserirdische Flugzeug 
> Beobachtungen, die tatsächlich wahr sind.

Nur drei? Das muss ich mir merken, damit ich das nicht vergesse. Welche
mögen das Deiner Meinung nach wohl gewesen sein? Das ist ja noch
schlimmer als Cenap, die von etwa 100.000 Fällen 1% erforscht haben,
die wiederum schon im Vorfeld als 'normal' geklärt waren. Mit dieser
Meinung solltest Du zu WW gehen und dich vorstellen. Der nimmmt Dich

By the way, decryption can be performed easily in your editor with syntax
like !!tr a-zA-Z n-za-mN-ZA-M (Sorry if you had the misfortune to buy your
software from Microsoft.)

> BTW I have 2 English words for you, FUCK YOU

Why, that's a rather intimate proposal.  I never realised you were
gay.  While I would like to offer the hand of friendship, I am
afraid that the thought of sex with a grown man doesn't really do
much for me so I shall have to decline with a modicum of regret.

Subject: Re: Docket No. 2005-22114
From: Rodrigo Severo
Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2006 09:04:33 -0200

On 1/23/06, Paul Eggert wrote:

  "David Braverman" <> writes:
  It is a bit ironic that the US is less efficient than Brazil in fixing
  obviously-broken regulations like this.

I'm  sorry but I have to ask: where is the irony in this? I hope the answer
isn't obvious to people from US and I'm not seeing it just because I'm
brazilian ;)
Rodrigo Severo

[Frankly, I'd just like to know what GNOME did wrong to deserve this :]

[Another entry in the series "make this a blog":]

I wanted to see it for myself, and directed my browser to

Got "Bad Request (Invalid Header Name)".

Well.. some investigation showed that it didn't like the headers added by
squid (in mostly default debian config).


By Bertrand Russell

Perhaps the essence of the Liberal outlook could be summed up in a new
decalogue, not intended to replace the old one but only to supplement
it. The Ten Commandments that, as a teacher, I should wish to promulgate,
might be set forth as follows:

 1. Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.

 2. Do not think it worth while to proceed by concealing evidence, for the
    evidence is sure to come to light.

 3. Never try to discourage thinking for you are sure to succeed.

 4. When you meet with opposition, even if it should be from your husband
    or your children, endeavor to overcome it by argument and not by
    authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.

 5. Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always
    contrary authorities to be found.

 6. Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you
    do the opinions will suppress you.

 7. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted
    was once eccentric.

 8. Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement,
    for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper
    agreement than the latter.

 9. Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is
    more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.

10. Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool's
    paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness."

"A Liberal Decalogue" is from The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell,
Vol. 3: 1944-1969, pp. 71-2.

John Hoy, President of the DVD Copy Control Association, made
the following statement to the Library of Congress in its 2003
Anticircumvention rulemaking proceedings:

"Furthermore, if a consumer in the United States desires to view a DVD disc
that has been region coded only for Europe, then that consumer is free to
purchase a DVD player (either hardware or software) that is coded to play
European DVDs. No legal restrictions apply-either through the CSS license
or otherwise-to the importation and use of non-U.S. region players in the
United States."
It must really suck to live in a nation where competition is actually
outlawed - you have to feel sorry for all those people oppressed by
communists and socialists. Oh, wait.... ;)
"You ain't seen nothin' yet!  I heard that the new HD-DVDs or Blue-ray
discs (whichever win eventually) will be street-encoded. You have to
quote your street name while buying DVDs and they won't work in the next
street. The hidden reason for this is that MPAA wants to charge upwards of
$1000 per DVD for those living in million dollar mansions."

This isn't far from the truth. Blu-ray disks for PlayStation3 will only
play in ONE player on earth. MS will eventually make up something similar.

[gnome-clock and my radio-clock failed miserably, /bin/date and Linux worked:]
Clock: inserting leap second 23:59:60 UTC


Vulnerabilities deemed "critical" have forced the company to release an
almost unending stream of patches and fixes [...]

Sure, it might be nice to connect your computer and your television
set. But is it worth it to give hackers access to your television?

Even if we don't use them, we suffer from them.

[...] a former senior security analyst for the House of Representatives,
believes that Microsoft is a threat to national security.

[Copyright History - US view]

[I just re-read the unix haters hadnbook]
X has had its share of $5,000 toilet seats -- like Sun's Open Look clock
tool, which gobbles up 1.4 megabytes of real memory! If you sacrificed all
the RAM from 22 Commodore 64s to clock tool, it still wouldn't have enough
to tell you the time. Even the vanilla X11R4 "xclock" utility consumed
656K to run. And X's memory usage is increasing.

[Got to remember this way of arguing, it's great if it works:]

"Most people, I think, don’t even know what a rootkit is, so why should
they care about it?"
       -- Thomas Hesse, Sony BMG’s Global Digital Business President.

[see also]

Let me repeat again: Formal axiomatic systems are a failure!
                                         -- Gregory Chaitin

13:49 <RayTracer> pixelsize=14 ist so groß wie 8 beim xchat wenn ich den 
                  gnome-settings-daemon nicht lade
13:50 <schmorp> autsch, was hat das mit dem gnome-settings-daemon zu tun? ist ja hart!
13:51 <RayTracer> wenn ich den nicht lade sind alle gtk-programme mit großem Font, 
                  wenn ich ihn lade werden sie klein gemacht und wenn ich ihn töte ist 
                  wieder alles groß

[man perlsub]
That prints "unphooey".  (Yes, there are still unresolved issues
having to do with visibility of @_. I’m ignoring that question
for the moment.  (But note that if we make @_ lexically scoped,
those anonymous subroutines can act like closures... (Gee, is this
sounding a little Lispish?  (Never mind.))))

[glibc's bits/socket.h]

  if ((size_t) __cmsg->cmsg_len < sizeof (struct cmsghdr))
       /* The kernel header does this so there may be a reason.  */       
       return 0;

> Die Argumente liefen insbesondere darauf hinaus, dass es sich bei den
> Filmen, auf die in Anspielungen verwiesen wird, um Filme handelt, die
> entweder von der FSK gekennzeichnet wurden mit "nicht freigegeben
> unter 18 Jahren", die von der Bundesprüfstelle indiziert wurden oder
> die sogar durch entsprechende Beschlüsse bundesweit beschlagnahmt
> wurden, also alles Filme, die Kindern und Jugendlichen aufgrund der
> Gesetze zum Jugendschutz von vornherein nicht zugänglich sind. Kindern
> und Jugendlichen wird daher die Persiflage auf diese Filme nicht
> transparent.

Das muß man sich mal auf der Zunge zergehen lassen: Da wird ein Film,
der ab 18 Jahren freigegeben ist, indiziert, weil Kinder und Jugendliche
die parodistischen Anspielungen nicht verstehen könnten. Mit solchen
Begründungen beraubt sich die BPjS letztlich ihrer Glaubwürdigkeit.

Großmanns Gesetz: Komplexe Probleme haben einfache, leichtverständliche,
aber falsche Lösungen.

A project done in Java will cost 5 times as much, take twice as long,
and be harder to maintain than a project done in a scripting language such
as PHP or Perl. [ Java
is the SUV of programming tools] Philip Greenspun

On Tue, 13 Dec 2005, Till Kamppeter wrote:
> Frederic told that the options from the PPD file are intentionally mot
> listed in the printing dialog, the usability team of GNOME was against
> listing these options. They clutter the dialog and can be more confusing
> than useful to the user.

I personally just encourage people to switch to KDE.

This "users are idiots, and are confused by functionality" mentality of
Gnome is a disease. If you think your users are idiots, only idiots will
use it. I don't use Gnome, because in striving to be simple, it has long
since reached the point where it simply doesn't do what I need it to do.

Please, just tell people to use KDE.


Move 80, Node 81
theodore [22k?]: i hear 8 d can read the future
setzer [?]: what about 9d
theodore [22k?]: they control it

[Fuqid 1.6 FAQ]
Wenn ich HTL auf 300 setze dann lade ich viel schneller runter, warum?

Weil du daran glaubst, das hat nur psychologische Gründe. HTL's grösser
als das Nodelimit haben einfach keinen Einfluss. PUNKT!
Warum wurde Fuqid nicht in der geilen Sprache XX geschrieben?

Du sprichst nur eine Sprache? Bist du Amerikaner?

[Are people responsible for the company they work at?]
I was at a party in New York City earlier this year, and a conversation went like this:

Person: What do you do?
Me: I'm a computer programmer at Microsoft.
Person: <viciously> I hate you.

If Miss Manners didn't say so explicitly, I suspect she would nevertheless
agree that snarling "I hate you" to somebody on first introduction is not
exactly getting off on the right foot.

[And this is how that Microsoft programmer reacts to bugs in Microsoft software]

"The music and film industries are demanding that the European parliament
extends the scope of proposed anti-terror laws to help them prosecute
illegal downloaders."

Bill Thompson at the BBC has some pertinent commentary:

"If they cannot come up with a business model which allows them to make
profits without criminalising their customers, trampling over our civil
liberties or installing malware on our computers then they do not deserve
to stay in business, and new ways for artists to reach the public will
have to emerge."

>Damit dürftest du der zweite Mensch sein, den ich kenne, der sich mit
>einer so spartanischen Hardwareausstattung zufrieden gibt:) Ich selbst

Mein Arbeitsplatz ist eine HP 715/80 - also 80 MHz. Da drauf laeuft der vi
immer noch genauso schnell wie vor zehn Jahren :)

Bye, Andy

[ka.uni.rz.stud, warum bestimmte zeichen in passwörtern verboten sind]
>einem Passwort nicht zulässt, das kann ich nachvollziehen, aber wieso ein
>Dollarzeichen, Leerzeichen, Klammeraffe, Doppelkreuz, Prozent, doppelte
>Anführungszeichen, Paragraph und was es da noch so alles gibt? Und wieso nur

Dollarzeichen: DCE kann nicht damit umgehen.
Leerzeichen: sind nur am Anfang und Ende eines PW verboten - es gibt
        System, die das wegstrippen :(
Klammeraffe: Ist bei einem Unix-Terminal das Standard-Kill-Zeichen (stammt
        halt noch aus der Zeit, als Fernschreiber als I/O-Geraete benutzt
        wurde, und ein Fernschreiber, der druckt, kann per Definition kein
        Backspace haben - Tipp-Ex-Baender waren nicht eingebaut :)
        - und es gibt eben noch Systeme, die zum lokalen Login diese STTY-
        Settings benutzen. Seit wir die VT100-Terminals abgebaut haben,
        ist das fuer Studenten weniger relevant, unser BV behandelt aber
        alle Benutzer.
Doppelkreuz: Ist bei einem Unix-Terminal das Standard-Erase-Zeichen
Prozent: Mift, das hab' ich mir nicht aufgeschrieben, geht aber auch in
        irgendeinem System nicht. Vielleicht sollte man es mal wieder
        probieren (bis es knallt)?
Doppelte Anfuehrungszeichen: Wurden von Radius als Begrenzer benutzt. Ja,
        der Radius-Server funktionierte nur mit Klartext-Passwoertern :(
        Ja, funktionierte, Vergangenheitsform, er ist jetzt endlich tot :)
        Ja, damit kann ich die doppelten Anfuehrungszeichen freigeben :)
Paragraph: ist kein ASCII-Zeichen. Das kann die lustigsten Probleme geben,
        insbesondere wenn verschiedene encodings benutzt werden - IMHO gibt
        es auch Implementierungen, die das 8. Bit wegschneiden...

[subversion is just plain broken. I just lost all my local modifications, right?]

cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn update
svn: Working copy '.' locked
svn: run 'svn cleanup' to remove locks (type 'svn help cleanup' for details)
cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn cleanup
svn: 'programs/mythlcd' is not a working copy directory
cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn update
svn: Working copy '.' locked
svn: run 'svn cleanup' to remove locks (type 'svn help cleanup' for details)
cerebro ~/cvs/mythtv# svn help cleanup
cleanup: Recursively clean up the working copy, removing locks, resuming
unfinished operations, etc.
usage: cleanup [PATH...]

Valid options:
  --diff3-cmd arg          : use ARG as merge command
    --config-dir arg         : read user configuration files from directory ARG

[Thanks for the details. Not.]

But there's an observation I can't help doing: it seems to me that the
ratio of increase in the complexity of (some aspects of) the language _is_
_much_ _bigger_ than that in the functionality such complexity is supposed
to provide.
- perl6-language - michele dondi

[From: perl6-language]

The fact that there's not alot of active p5p'ers on this list should
alarm people more.



My take on that is that it is because Perl 6 is not a new version of
Perl 5. I still think "Perl" is a misleading name, and mostly hurts the
image of the language that is created here.



(Oh, and that perl6 will never be able to upgrade my scripts that use
'format', but I'm aware of the plan to make that `obsolete' as in: the
perl526 translator will dump core on those)

H.Merijn Brand

Die Firma Microsoft warnte asiatische Regierungen am Donnerstag,
dass diese patentrechtlich verklagt werden könnten, wenn sie das
Betriebssystem Linux anstelle von Microsoft's Windows-Software einsetzen.
Nachrichtenagentur Reuters (18. November 2004)

[Come on, "kidtalk"???]

[Priceless :)]

>> I hate it whenever Word tries to encourage me not to use passive.
> Okay then, translate "The window has been broken" into active voice.
"Windows is broken."

[Brent 'Dax' Royal-Gordon on the perl6-language list:]
Removing features simply because their implementation is inconvenient
is not The Perl Way.  If it were, Perl 6 would be Java With Sigils.

[Incidentally, the USoA is one of the two countries on earth that insist
on being able to kill their children legally]

The Miller test is the United States Supreme Court's test for determining
whether speech or expression can be labeled obscene [...]

"They find the anti-pornography crowd disturbing because they believe
that policing pornography violates fundamental rights. This has become
the dominant view in our society: As long as what I do doesn't harm you
personally, I have a right to do it. It's a silly view and a view rejected
by law enforcement policies all over the country."
"What we really need is less government and more common sense. The Bush
administration thinks it can win the war in iraq, the war on terror, the
war on drugs, and the war on smut while establishing a lunar colony and
rebuilding New Orleans, all without raising taxes. He really needs a
reality check. I can't believe that with all of this crap going on, Tom
DeLay has the balls to claim that the republican party has eliminated
wasteful government spending."

[Attaching 72lbs to spam-reply-envelopes is legal. Do it!]

[Charley Tart on Consensus Trance: <SLAP> <SLAP> Wake up!]

["It's such a moving story, it must be true"]

[Pencil Carving]


[Die Wirtschaft befreit die Menschen von der Arbeit]

23:10 <mmead> schmorp: A federal appeals court ruled today that the president can indefinitely detain a U.S. citizen 
              captured on U.S. soil in the absence of criminal charges, holding that such authority is vital to protect the 
              nation from terrorist attacks.
23:10 <mmead> A congressional resolution after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks "provided the President all powers 
              necessary and appropriate to protect American citizens from terrorist attacks by those who attacked the United 
              States on Sept. 11,'' the decision said.
23:10 <mmead> The decision by a three-judge panel was written by Judge J. Michael Luttig, who sources have said is under 
              consideration by President Bush for nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court. 

[Looks extreme]

[Some glimpse of what happened in New Orleans]
"As we approached the bridge, armed Gretna sheriffs formed a line across the
foot of the bridge. Before we were close enough to speak, they began firing
their weapons over our heads."

[Global Average Temperature vs. Number of Pirates]

Many people using Windows don't care about their freedom. They do care
about quality software and for that reason try to replace all the user
space software from Microsoft with better free alternatives. This is the
sole reason for the existance of cygwin.


The TCG has resisted defining "owner" for purposes of their spec, despite
several requests for clarification.

Think of it this way: most computer-related "stuff" now has a "licensed,
not sold" tag attached. Ask yourself again, then, who has ultimate control
unter TCG definitions.

But rememer they aren't doing anything wrong and they aren't trying to
force anything on you. It is all opt-in and you always get to set the
policy on your computer. It's just that nothing works any more unless you
do opt-in and you do set your policy exactly they way they tell you to.

It's not coercion. It's for security. It helps the economy. It thwarts
terrorists. TPM gives flags to orphans if that's what it needs to do to
get people on board.

To have a secure computer, you must download the latest
patches. Therefore, you must upgrade to SP4, and therefore, you must
accept the EULA that requires you to agree with Microsoft's proprietary

The end is near. Security patches will soon require your body to be
injected with RFID. Surely, we are all doomed.

switch ($decade) {
case "the 50's":
   s/the Boogyman/Communist agitators/g;
case "the 60's":
   s/the Boogyman/acid-eating hippies/g;
case "the 70's":
   s/the Boogyman/disco/g;
case "the 80's":
   s/the Boogyman/mutual assured destruction (and Grenada!)/g;
case "the 90's":
   s/the Boogyman/evil hackers and George Michael/g;
case "the 00's":
   s/the Boogyman/terrorists/g;

"How fucking creepy is that? As you can see from the flyer included
in the capsule (note the kiddie crayon font), the other toys in the
assortment include little girls spreading their legs, little girls sucking
suggestively on popsicles, and little girls dry-humping their teddy bears"

"Interestingly enough, none of the cans were very long - maybe six inches
at the most. I was trying to avoid the whole Asian-men-have-small-penises
thing, but they kind of handed it to me on a silver platter."

""Maybe I should just try it. Just see what it feels like..." I mean,
why not, right? You know. Just for kicks, right? So you know what? I
fucked it. Yeah. I fucked a plastic beer can. I fucked the shit out of
that can. And you know what? It felt alright. It did the trick. That
is, until it was all over. Until the moment after, when I was hit by a
sobering freight train of humility, looking down at my dick stuck inside a
latex vagina housed in a plastic beer can. Moments like that you start to
question everything - "How the hell did it come to this? Who am I? What am
I doing with my life?" I probably sat there for an hour, silently with my
plastic lover, pondering my existence."

"The scholars of Islam, such as Malik, Ash-Shafi`i, Ahmad and Ishaaq said
that (the person guilty of this crime) should be stoned, whether he is
married or unmarried."

[I like this comparison between of and watching television:]
Your brother is not at all different from those who have been conditioned
to fornicate, or commit theft or murder, or who have become addicted to
watching pornography or even television for that matter. All of these
are destructive habits that one learns through continuous exposure or

[And this is religion at its best:]
Let him continuously read, reflect and meditate on the verses of the
Qur'an that deal with the punishment meted to the nation who practiced
this abomination; let him also read the verses depicting hell fire.


[A link, just a link]

As you may have noticed, the HOWTO is getting stale, you can't subscribe to
the mailinglist and a lot of messages sent to it aren't getting through.

I apologise for this.

If all goes well I'll get my driver's license this Tuesday, which will allow
me to visit the server, which I can't easily reach right now.

PSYC @> el says: von java bekommt man krebs
induktiv says: java is ein riesiger marketing misthaufen voll mit code von uebereifrigen fh-programmierern
el says: ich kenn da wen
el says: bei dem wars so
PSYC @> el says: und.. naja, der hat also ganz viel java programmiert
el says: und bekam augenkrebs
el says: gehirntumor auch
el says: ich weiss nicht, was vorher da war

wget && xsetbg ratz.jpg

[in a reply to a school work assignment about proving why env vars make
 no sense in the kernel]
From: Christoph Lameter <>


Mathematical proofs are accomplished within a framework of mathematical

In the postmodern time period and we gave up belief that the mathematical
models are an accurate representation of reality. We only expect that
they are sufficiently accurate for the purposes at hand.

[such nice quotes from]
There will be EF devices, EF branded content and probably EF branded
contraceptives to use while watching EF branded porn.
Any DRM on a machine is simply a sign of failure.
This crushing DRM that is being foisted upon you is the surest sign that
you don't want this product, and you will be paying too much for it. Don't
like that? Bought legislators are hard at work making sure you will go to
jail if you try to exercise your rights on the issue.

An absolutely fascinating interview with Robert Pape, a University of
Chicago professor who has studied every suicide terrorist attack since
1980.  "The central fact is that overwhelmingly suicide-terrorist
attacks are not driven by religion as much as they are by a clear
strategic objective: to compel modern democracies to withdraw military
forces from the territory that the terrorists view as their homeland."
[From: CRYPTO-GRAM 2005-08-15]

[If you are a US citizen, you might want to fight for the right to vote,
 which you currently do not posess]

Kind: "Daad! Die alten Griechen mußten 44 Arten der Selbstverteidigung lernen, ohne Waffen!"
Vater: "Dafür haben wir eine zweistufige elektrische Heckenschere."
[Nach: Time Bandits]

Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off
a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Tcl is LISP on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures                                                                                       
is Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of                                                                                         

[the average IQ seems to be declining]

> If you know anything, most catholics register as democrats

Most catholics aren't American.

[Some things possibly cannot exist...]

In NEWS1920, we demonstrated how America's widespread usage of Depleted
Uranium munitions is fulfilling the prophetic End of the Age prophecy
against Babylon (Iraq). Now, we examine how our D.U. is quite possibly
fulfilling another major prophecy: Revelation 6:3-4

How Mormon Temples Are Built To Be Demon Magnets

Asked whether he thought the blasts might be related to Islam, he
replied, "What Islam? This terrorism has nothing to do with any religion,
because all religions do not allow aggression and do not allow killing
civilians in innocence. Those don't belong to Muslims. They are a gang of

The Black Hole in the Galactic Center

To me anything above 30 fps is good and 45-50 is amazing... 75 is more
than I've seen lol. Then again I come from a mac

[There are things the US congress can do that were far beyond my imagination]

The MSI MS-9130 (K8T Master2-FAR) is an excellent board. The only problem
I had was with my video card shorting out and frying both the board and
card (They went up in flames).

05:46 <mmead> AP and UPI reported that the French government announced yesterday that 
              it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two 
              higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate." The action 
              was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France's 
              white flag factories, disabling their military.
05:47 <mmead> it's obviously been recirculated recently: 

[The following quote from a NASA press release shows impressively how much
we know. And more importantly, how to build up scientific knowledge part
by part. "Knowledge" always has a margin-of-error inherently attached to it.]

"The cloud indicated the comet is covered in the powdery stuff."


Silly questions abound, all to cover people's butts.  When I moved to
the US in 1992 (from Canada), one of the questions on my green card
application was "Do you, or any member of your immediate family, plan to
violently overthrow the government of the United States or assasinate any
elected official?"  Not only did they have checkboxes for "yes" and "no",
but they had a blank space labelled, "If you checked 'yes', please provide
a detailed explanation in the space below." I never figured out what kind
of explanation would make them give you a green card anyway.
Hasbro should ask the same. Teddy Ruxpin chips were found on a number
of landmines during the first gulf war... First, we just thought these
people REALLY hate Teddy Ruxpin, maybe we're not so different after all...
but on further investigation, Ruxpin had easily-programmable EEPROMs, so
the Ruxpin chip was actually being repurposed as a controller for the
explosives. They were jackin' overseas deliveries to get the Ruxpins.
The Obfuscated V contest

Airplane security is getting surreal:  "...FAA regulation that requires
soldiers -- all of whom were armed with an arsenal of assault rifles,
shotguns and pistols -- to surrender pocket knives, nose hair scissors and
cigarette lighters."

Does it run under Windows ?
- Who cares?

[Can hot water freeze faster than cold water?]
Single Bubble Sonoluminescence HOWTO
Don't bother me with "my bottle exploded, what was wrong?"-stuff; While the bottle is heated it mustn't be closed!
Darken your room completely. Adapt your eyes, which may take 15 minutes up
to half an hour. Look at the flask or at least where you think your flask
is (remember: the room is completely darkened).

> Ja, stimmt - ich hatte mich früher viel mit Leuten beschäftigt, die 
> wahrscheinlich entführt wurden, oder bei denen es den Anschein hatte. Im 
> Moment beschäftige ich mich mit der Konstruktion eines kleinen UFO- 
> Detektors, der die UFO- Ereignisse auch zählt.-
> Aber Feld-Forscher bin ich deshalb noch nicht. Das geht gesundheitlich nicht 
> mehr!
> richy.

Und es gibt wirklich Deppen, die sich von dir abzocken lassen??

> Wie kann ich online etwas belegen, das sich in der Vergangenheit
> zugetragen hat?

Das solltest Du Dich selbst mal fragen. Wenn Du es nicht belegen kannst,
warum behauptest Du es dann?
> Ach, wenn es interessant wird, umfängt Dich Faulheit?

Bei dir ist das angemessen, du hast deinen Ruf weg.
Du plapperst immer nur von Belegen, verlangst letzten Endes
naturwissenschaftliche/physikalische Beweise (genaugenommen:
ein Alien-craft zum Vorfuehren), darunter akzeptierst du nichts,
aber das stellt sich erst nach ellenlangen threads heraus.

Aber das ist bekannt, und eigentlich belanglos.

Wer sich auf Debatten mit dir einlaesst und Argumente erwartet
von jemand, der die Wissenschaft zur Ersatzreligion verquast,
ist eigentlich selbst schuld.

[de.alt.ufo, über einen]
Wie die Skepsos so schoen sagen: der Verfasser von dem Quark war so offen,
dem ist das Gehirn rausgefallen.

  /* give the hook another try */
  if (++loops < 42) /*doug adams*/

/* Insert a doubly-linked list of elements from "n->q.fl" to "n->" 
   in between "o" and "o->q.fl" */
#define dqadd(o,n,q) ((o)->q.fl->>,(n)->>q.fl=(o)->q.fl,(o)->q.fl=(n)->q.fl,(n)->q.fl->

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

* Andreas Waechter <> [06-25-05 00:58]:
> No, Thunderbird should not "reply" to the list with the 
> current settings of the list.
> There is no "Reply-To" header, thus a "Reply" has to go to 
> the address in the "From" header - which is the address of 
> the original sender, not the list.
> The List address is in the "To" field. Thus only a "Reply 
> All" will go to the list as CC (and to the original sender 
> as TO).
> Don't blame my mail client for the set-up of the list.

Your *mail* client is *not* being blamed.  It is *your*
responsibility.  No one disputes your choice of mail client, but it
*is* your responsibility to see that *your* posts are properly
addressed to the list, not the list's software or the people you are
being discourteous to.

The *fault* is *all* yours.  It is/was your choice.
Patrick Shanahan                        Registered Linux User #207535

"Sie können mit falschen Tatsachen Leute überzeugen, das ist nun mal so."

An appeals court in Minnesota has ruled that the presence of encryption
software [PGP] on a computer may be viewed as evidence of criminal intent.

"They said 'no' and they said it's a national security issue. And I said
what about my constitutional rights? And they said 'not at this point ...
you don't have any'."

[I also am very fond of this quote:]
"My concern is that if that's the way they're treating American citizens I
would hate to think how they're treating other people. It's crazy."
[Don't they have _any_ ethics?? What about equality? Ah well, I forgot...]

Yes its true! If you go down to Place du Luxembourg from now until
3pm, you can collect your free icecream and support the Computer
Implemented Inventions Common Position!

The change from Blitz to standard arrays had little effect on the
execution time so I stuck with the standard type. The standard arrays
should be more acceptable to developers who want to modify the code.
Insisting that the developer use a certain array container for no good
reason will not win many fans.

[ has other nice
documents in the algorithm section]

["Blue in the Face"]
Ich kriege in New York keine Angst, nein... aber in Schweden...da isses
irgendwie so leer und da sind alle betrunken... und alles funktioniert...
und, naja, wnen du an einer roten Ampel den motor nicht abstellst, reden
die leute mit dir.... die zeigen da im fernsehen ohrenoperationen...

Solche dinge machen mir Angst... nicht New York.

And before I forget it, readers fascinated by the idea of Central
Europeans using A6 as a toilet paper size might also be interested to hear
that the U.S. have for the same application field a standard square format
of 4.5×4.5 in = 114×114 mm, which is for instance documented in New Jersey
Specification No. 7572-01 (May 1997), section 2.3.

[Better know what they actually do...]
[Technische Richtlinie / Telekommunikationsüberwachung]
[RFC3924 Cisco Architecture for Lawful Intercept in IP Networks]

The FTC called a summit of leading thinkers, and the regulation was
amended to read "but don't use languages that go from right to left
or up and down instead of plain old left to right."  Needless to say,
the reaction from the Freedonian League for the Defense of Linguistic
Diversity killed that proposed regulation really quickly.

[just a really nice md5sum]

[a comment in some g729 sample implementation]
 * For G.729(,A,B) royalty payments, see 
 *   WARNING: please make sure you are sitting down before looking
 *            at their price list.

You'd think I was overgeneralizing, but I'm not. Absolutely every single
time I see HN in use, I quickly end up learning that the programmer who
wrote the code was an idiot. On at least two separate occasions, I've
had to correct C code with HN that did not allocate space for the null
terminator on any strings anywhere in the code. That's pretty much the
level of programming talent you can expect when you see HN in use.

21:22 <mmead> tiger's SMB support is fucking broken
21:26 <oesi> mmead: when you grow up, you will substitute "'s SMB support" by "" :)

03:05 <oesi> 02:34 <bani_> ich dachte immer alle beinhaltet mehr als 1
03:05 <oesi> 02:34 <bani_> aba naja
03:05 <oesi> 02:35 <oesi> nein, viele beinhaltet mehr als 1
03:05 <oesi> 02:35 <bani_> stimmt auch wieder

[ein so gut geschriebenes dokument erwartet man eigentlich nicht mal vom BSI]

[some SPAM]
Freie Geschlechtabbildungen und -filme.  Und Phasennetznocken

cowsay -f head-in oink | cowthink -n -f sodomized

[star wars episode guide]
1 =Epichode 1: The Phantom Grimace
2 =Epichode 2: Attack of the Groans
3 =Epichode 3: Revenge of the Shit
4 = Episode 4: A New Hope
5 = Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back(By far the best Star Wars film.  One of the finest movies ever made.)
6 = Episode 6: Return of the Jedi(would have been a thousand times cooler if the ewoks had been Wookies).

[God knows his enemies]
[Uh-oh, "se germans are next"] [a fake, but nevertheless]
[Why is it that every good Hollywood movie is at least 30+ years old?]

Die "Bild"-Zeitung schreibt Blödsinn, und alle schreiben's ab. Die
rührende Geschichte von den "Unfallforschern", die angeblich "ermittelt"
hätten, was doch nur eine schlichte Umrechnung von Stundenkilometern in
Meter pro Sekunde ist, zieht Kreise.

Nachrichtenagentur ddp, 3. Mai, 03:16 Uhr:

    Laut "Bild" ermittelten Unfallforscher, dass ein Auto bei einer
    Geschwindigkeit von 50 Kilometern pro Stunde etwa 14 Meter pro Sekunde
    ungebremst weiterfährt, während der Fahrer nach einer fallengelassenen
    Zigarette sucht.

Nachrichtenagentur AFP, 3. Mai, 04:25 Uhr:


Bei "Stern Online" ist aus den "Unfallforschern" schon eine ganze "Studie"
geworden, die plötzlich zu Ergebnissen kommt, die nur scheinbar mit den
bekannten "Ermittlungen" identisch sind:

    Nach Auffassung des SPD-Verkehrsexperten Peter Danckert kann eine
    brennende Zigarette den Fahrer jedoch ebenso wie ein klingelndes
    Telefon ablenken. Er verwies auf eine Studie, nach der ein 50
    Stundenkilometer schnelles Auto mindestens 14 Meter weiterrolle, wenn
    der Fahrer nach einer Zigarette sucht.

[schlimmer als de.alt.ufo, schlimmer als jede Verarschung sein könnte...]

Which fanboy are you?

1. Windows

   You wear wraparound sunglasses, even indoors. You wish your mother
   would let you ride a motorbike. You tell your friends you're pulling
   in $50,000 a year and $2,000 a month "playing the stock market" but
   in reality you're only bringing in half that and your dividends from
   MSFT havn't been good in years. Your non computing friends all turn
   to you for help; you only charge $30 an hour. Your collegues talk
   about you behind your back. Your workplace nickname is likely to be
   "The Asshole". Unlike the Linux fanboys, you actually try to pick up
   dates in bars but women laugh at you.

2. Apple

   You think you're so cool you hurt. You have mirrors on every wall
   in your "loft apartment", which is really a grimy little apartment
   next to a guy who plays Guns 'n Roses at 3am. All of your furniture
   is from Ikea. You sometimes think that changing your name to "Steve"
   would be "pretty cool". When you go to bars you only drink Miller
   Lite. No body ever asks you for help with their computers because
   they know you don't know anything but OS X, even if you do tell them
   you "run Unix" now. Your friends openly laugh at you.

3. Linspire

   You regularly give $10 bills to homeless guys because you have
   too much money. Computers baffle you, but you enjoy looking at
   pictures of naked women. You don't know what Linux is, but you
   continually bugged the IT guy at work about your computer so he
   installed Linspire on your machine.

4. Umbongo

   You shop at GAP. You probably used to use a Mac. When you saw the
   multiracial image used as a desktop picture and heard that this
   operating system came from the same country as Nelson Mandela, you
   knew it was for you. You meet with your friends in fair-trade coffee
   houses and talk about the eventual overthrow of evil corporations
   such as Microsoft and Starbucks. Like the Linspire user, you have
   very little real knowlege when it comes to computers but you would
   never use your computer to look at pictures of women degrading

5. Gentoy

   You've been "into computers" for ohh, one or two years now and fancy
   yourself as "a bit of a hacker". Wouldn't know C from C++, or even
   Perl for that matter. Older Gentoy users may be building their homes
   from matchsticks. You've explained to all your friends that your
   matchstick house will have an "optimised floorplan". They've tried
   to tell you that your house violates every known building code and
   law in your area, but you've ignored them so far because you can't
   read those complicated regulatory documents.

6. Linux From Scratch

   Much like the Gentoy user but you'd also be into sadomasochistic
   sex if you could get it. You're not just building a house from
   matchsticks, you're planing to grow the trees to make the
   matchsticks. You've cleared some land but don't know what to do next
   because you havn't read the books you've got, so you've posted to
   alt.arborists.newbie asking for help. It's been three days so far
   and no one has replied. You remain hopeful.

if (($^O eq "MSWin32") or ($^O eq "Windows_NT")) {      ## Many perls, eek!

[A few days after the 6.0.9 release announcement]

In the spirit of release early, release often.... Err no, actually more
in the spirit of, let's not try to lose data during file resolution...

Coda 6.0.10 is out

<> wrote:

> > On Mon, 14 Mar 2005 23:55:28 -0800, CrabRangoon wrote
> > Meine Großmutter hat einen kleinen Hinterhof und sie benutzt selten die
> > Dusche. Bei vielen Gelegenheiten habe ich mehr als 4
> > Lebensmittelgeschäftspeicher-Versorgungsmaterialien Sellerie an einem
> > einzelnen Tag verbraucht. Würde es irgendein Benzin unter meiner Couch
> > geben, wenn ich meine Hose bügelte?
> What does  your granny's tiny ass  have to do with this group? Other than the 
> smell attracting flies of course...
I figured a little non-native tongued nonsense would help keep this
request near the top of the group. thanks for playing along.
cheers and Haben Sie eine glückliche Karotte

00:24 <elmex> ich bin ja nur ein dummer niedersachse, der kaum was in der schule hatte 

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. -Ambrose Bierce

98% of the time I am right. Why worry about the other 3%.

[Bertram van Munster, Jerry Bruckheimers partner, interviewed in the BBC
show "Correspondent"]

[...] I do reality television, and I've done this for many many many
years, long before even anybody knew what reality was.

[so know we know who creates reality now]

[from wordnet]
cock sucking, blowjob
       => fellatio, fellation
           => oral sex, head
               => perversion, sexual perversion
                   => sexual activity, sexual practice, sex, sex activity
                       => bodily process, body process, bodily function, activity
                           => organic process, biological process
                               => process
                                   => phenomenon

10:41 <oesi> [0]--(10:40:39)-(root@km)-(~/xxml)-> file tmon.out
10:41 <oesi> tmon.out: ASCII Java program text

[slightly edited]
Largest prison population in the world is in the United States of America
(in 2000: 2,071,686 persons, 22% of world prison population), it has more
than double the prison population of Russia or China. What that means is
that in USA 1 out of 143 residents are incarcerated.

About 88% of USA prison population is male, but female population is
sharply on the rise, and might soon reach that of males, due mostly to new
laws on terrorism and drugs.

Out of all the black males between 20 and 39, 12% are in custody (anybody
told them about emancipation proclamation?).

"Begehe nur nicht den Fehler, Meinung durch Sachverstand zu substituieren."
                       (PLemken, <bu6o7e$e6v0p$>)

Mail::Box - 700MB of RSS to open a 30MB mail folder, one half of the
advertised features doesn't work, while the other half is just buggy.

A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.
I learned that some cops lie. This was a brutal and profoundly disturbing 
realization: Those in control are not necessarily trustworthy. 
                                           - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

"parrot - from the people who brought you ithreads"
                                           - oesi

[US, Metric]

[I agree with that very much, most of his blog is really interesting]
Sunday February 20, 2005 07:18 AM
Minions Wanted [ 0 Comments | #23269 ]

It's been about 10 years since I've had minions. They've all grown up,
started painfully profitable companies, and now hob-knob whose-who of
important and influential figures of their field. I'm growing old and
increasinly mal-adapted to normal life. It's no longer becoming for me
to leave my lair nor speak on the phone. I've reflected on making this
post, and I've reflected at great length. Minions aren't what they used
to be. Minions now days are soft and weak willed. In the old days, it was
that minions would realize they can wield power if they're willing to
spend a time subserviant to someone capable of teaching. Now days, kids
have this notion that money only comes from the parents, power comes from
your social (gag) circles, and glory comes from the things you own. They
seek answers to Perl questions only for immediate gradification, not to
truly master an insidious tactic and become a potent force. Kids now
days, not nearly robust enough to be considered minion material. They,for
their entire life, questioninglessly slide into being slaves of much
more powerful overlords. They accept as payment for their servatude a
few measily tens of thousands of dollars, and then only paid in payments
yearly, calling that close enough to world domination, and inexchange
for that paultry fee, deliver one after another innocent to the hands of
Bill Gates, telling the clients they betray that Microsoft Windows is a
servicable operating system and a supportable platform. While it is truly
becoming to serve on the side of Microsoft, it is also well known the
ranks are thin at the top but wide at the bottom, and few ever move past
petty explotation of businesses and moronic home users.

This is not the stock I seek. These so short-sightedly driven by greed,
rather than lusting for true power, amount to little more than orcs - a
fodder of little use except as "consumers" in this modern age. It is far
more becoming to hope to some day aspire to be an overlord of some small
repute yourself and initially forego payment.

Minions in my service will be expected to endure maindane business-related
tasks, such as answering the phone, but will always be allowed the
basic dignity of being able to tell clients to "fuck off" when
appropriate. Retaining dignity does not relieve the necessities of
subordination, however. My minions may seek clarification but will never
question me. For the term of their indenture, they will accept my teaching
as truth itself. They will not seek short-cuts where I say there are none,
and if I later reveal short-cuts, they will know it was because they were
not yet ready before. While my young troglodytes will doubtless enterain
perversion and drug abuse in their free time, they will go for the want of
the very necessities of life should urgant cause arise.

In exchange, they will be tutored on the basic elements of evil and Perl
programming and will share in the spoils of an insideous plot I've hatched
some time ago to dupe large numbers of people out of money by playing on
their greed and fear. Of course, in the interest of avoiding indictment
myself, the details of the plot can never be revealed, but a clever
student will quickly ascertain the nature of the ploy. After thier period
of endenture, minions will have developed an eye for exploitation and
trickery, but most importantly will have developed a deeper understanding
of how things work - both in Perl and in the real world. They will see
everything about them as quite potentially theirs - no program must go
unwritten, and persuent to Free Trade Agreements, they will be as a
sovereign nation.

While the offer is valid, this is a draft for a post on Feedback is welcome - unless you're stupid, then stay the
hell off my blog. Time and time again I forget both the power of TV to
sap intelligence and the very prevelence of the thing. So let this be a
test: if you watch more than half an hour a day of any programming besides
CSPAN, don't post here.


But Mike Loughlin, who studied the boiling of lobsters when he was a
University of Maine graduate student, said lobsters simply lack the brain
capacity to feel pain.

"It's a semantic thing: No brain, no pain," said Loughlin, who now works
as a biologist at the Maine Atlantic Salmon Commission.

Subject: Re: [Gimp-user] Gimp contextual F1 help & Crimson Editor in Windows
From: Sven Neumann


Rubén de Diego Martínez writes:
> I also think that it's a bug. How may I report-it? 

Go to and tell them

 ShellExecute (HWND_DESKTOP, "open", uri, NULL, NULL, SW_SHOWNORMAL);

does not do what you would expect it to do.
the original comment says:
This is probably part of an elaborate IQ test.
Waiting at the gate means you fail.

{Net-Knuddels:Flat eric} ich mir eine kolaflasche reingeschioebn
{Net-Knuddels:Flat eric} und dann ist meine klitoris erissen
{Net-Knuddels:Flat eric} und ich musste ins krankenhaus
{Net-Knuddels:Flat eric} oh sorry, falsches fenster
{Flat eric:Net-Knuddels} aja
{Net-Knuddels:Flat eric} hi :)

[Java, like Delphi, requires manual destruction. Obvious, but still
interesting read]

[Obscure Algorithms, just for my reference]

In Los Angeles, the "HOLLYWOOD" sign is protected by a fence and a locked
gate. Because several different agencies need access to the sign for
various purposes, the chain locking the gate is formed by several locks
linked together. Each of the agencies has the key to its own lock, and not
the key to any of the others. Of course, anyone who can open one of the
locks can open the gate.

This is a nice example of a multiple-user access-control system. It's
simple, and it works. You can also make it as complicated as you want,
with different locks in parallel and in series.
Safecracking for the computer scientist

Fact: Something that you observe to be true.

   Fact #1: when you drop a hammer, it falls to the ground

   Fact #2: a genetic sequence can change sufficiently to form a new
   species. Speciation has been observed more than once in the laboratory
   and in the wild, so this is a fact. Since we call this process
   'evolution', that means evolution is a fact. Keep reading for more
   explanation of this.

Theory: An explanation of an observation

   Theory #1: The theory of gravity is understood as a curvature in space,
   which explains why the hammer falls.

   Theory #2: The Theory of Evolution through Natural Selection explains
   how a population's genome can change over time.

Law: Not really related to any of the other definitions. It's just a
mathematical relationship between two values.

   Law #1: If you double the distance from a source of light, the
   brightness falls off proportionally to the square of the distance.

   Law #2: (expressed as a formula) F=ma. Force equals mass times

Please note that Evolution is a fact, and the theory is called the Theory
of Evolution through Natural Selection. There are other theories of
evolution, which have been disproved. A famous one is the theory of
evolution through acquired characteristics, also known as Lamarkian
evolution. It posited that species evolve by acquiring and retaining
useful characteristics through use. Therefore, a giraffe would have
longer necks if the previous generations stretched their necks to reach
high leaves. This was the main theory that Darwin and others showed to be

[by Profane MuthaFucka (574406)]

[Aus: Psychologie heute, 10/2003, über einen Artikel von Rentfrow/Gosling,
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 6/2003]

Fans von reflexiven und komplexen Musikstilen wie Klassik, Blues, Jazz und
Folk sind offen, tolerant und machen gerne neue Erfahrungen. Sie halten
sich für intelligent - und sind es auch. Außerdem können sie gut mit
Worten umgehen, schätzen das schöne. haben eine starke Vorstellungskraft
und sind politisch liberal eingestellt. Sie sind häufig etwas unsportlich
und wollen andere nicht dominieren.

Anhänger von intensiven und rebellischen Musikrichtungen wie Heavy Metal,
Rock und alternativer Musik sind offen für Experimente. Sie halten sich
außerdem für intelligent, eloquent und sportlich. Obwohl die Musik, die
sie bevorzugen, vorwiegend negatives ausdrückt, scheint dies nicht auf
sie abzufärben: Sie sind weder neurotischer noch unverträglicher als die
Fans anderer Musikrichtungen. Darüber hinaus sind sie wissensdurstig,
risikobereit und körperlich aktiv.

Beschwingt und konventionell. So bezeichnen Rentfrow und Gosling
Popsongs und Schmusehits, Countrymusik, Filmmusik und religiöse Musik
(Spirituals, Gospels, Kirchenlieder). Wer diese Musik gerne hört, ist ein
umgänglicher Zeitgenosse: Er geht gern aus sich heraus, ist verträglich,
fröhlich, zuverlässig, hilfsbereit und gewissenhaft. Seine Einstellungen
sind eher konservativ, Beredesamkeit und Offenheit sind nicht seine
Stärken. Dafür hält er sich aber für attraktiv und vor allem für

Wer sich für energetische und rhythmische Musik begeistern kann (Rap,
Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk, Electronica) trägt sein Herz auf der Zunge. Er
ist umgänglich, quirlig, liberal eingestellt, extravertiert und ein
wenig eitel: Er hält sich für attraktiv und sportlich. Konservatives
Gedankengut und Dominanz über andere liegen ihm hingegen fern.

Die besten verbalen Fähigkeiten haben die Angehörigen der ersten beiden
Gruppen. Am wenigsten beredt ist die dritte Gruppe. An analytischem
Verstand mangelt es vor allen den Musikhörern der vierten Gruppe.
während die erste Gruppe, gefolgt von der zweiten, am meisten davon
vorzuweisen hat.

"Die intelligenteste Gruppe bevorzugt die komplexeste Musik", sagen die

[Very well-written article on the legal foundazion of licensing, and
the extreme difference in what a free software license does vs. a
EULA-style license]

The Pirate Bay is a BitTorrent tracking site in Sweden with 150,000 users
a day. In the fall, it posted a torrent for Shrek 2. Dreamworks sent a
cease-and-desist letter demanding the site remove it. One of the site's
pseudonymous owners, Anakata, replied: "As you may or may not be aware,
Sweden is not a state in the United States of America. Sweden is a country
in northern Europe [and] US law does not apply here. ... It is the opinion
of us and our lawyers that you are fucking morons." Shrek 2 stayed up.

Java is, in many ways, C++--. (Michael Feldman)

[Happy New Year]
23:42 -!- zaphod [jkneer@fatboy.laendle] has quit [Quit: Hochhaus]
Day changed to 01 Jan 2005
00:24 <schmorp> re

Im besten Fall kann die Verknüpfung zweier Tatsachen Verdachtsmomente
liefern, die mit wissenschaftlichen Methoden abgeklärt werden
sollen. Was eine wissenschaftliche Methode ist, ist Gegenstand anderer
wissenschaftlicher Untersuchungen.

[funny page(s), although I think it's sad that people trying to "debunk"
bad science theories are prone to the same logical fallacies as the
proponents of such theories.]
"On the Internet, there's a picture circulating that's supposedly `secret
evidence' from Russia, proving Planet X is an inhabited world. The makers
took the original photo (top left), enlarged it, and upgraded it with
`solarize' and `find edges'. And look... Suddenly, you see all kinds of
spaceships orbiting the planet! (top right) I followed exactly the same
procedure, using a photo of one Robert Bridson, math student at Stanford
University (below, left). After enlarging and solarizing the photograph,
it became clear that mr. Bridsons left ear actually is inhabited by
intelligent beings, since there clearly is a spaceship taking off from it
(below, right)."

[wonderful info...]
[useful info...]

Computer analyst to programmer:
"You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."


[Spektrum der Wissenschaft, 11/2004, über Informationstransport im All]
"Wenn unsere Vettern im Kosmos wirklich intelligent sind, werden ihre
Computer sicher nicht mit Microsoft-Betriebssystemen ausgestattet sein."

[in our continued series, "solaris source code", today, /bin/true]
ddev5:~$ cat /bin/true
#       Copyright (c) 1984, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989 AT&T
#         All Rights Reserved

#       The copyright notice above does not evidence any
#       actual or intended publication of such source code.

#ident  "@(#)    1.6     93/01/11 SMI"   /* SVr4.0 1.4   */

22:07 <elmex> schmorp: naja, es beweist das das konzept von java nicht funktioniert
22:07 <schmorp> elmex: welches konzept?
22:07 <elmex> das "hack dir die beine ab, und lauf nen marathon"-konzept ;)

# win32 does not allow unresolved symbols in libraries, but
# Gtk2 uses on symbols in the dll created for Glib.
# so, we have to break all this nice abstraction and encapsulation
# and find the actual Glib.dll and Glib.lib installed by perl when
# the Glib module was built, and add it to the list of lib files.
# say it with me: "i hate win32."

Immerhin meint die Filmförderungsanstalt, im Jahr 2002 seien 59
Millionen CD-Rohlinge von 5,9 Millionen Nutzern mit Filmen bespielt
worden, im Durchschnitt also zwo:lf Rohlinge pro Anwender.
           -- <>

Das einzige, was die Seite wirklich gezeigt hat, ist, daß es kaum Menschen
gibt, die weiter denken als ein Schwein scheißt.
[I'd say ALL the essays on
are readable, and in most cases I wholeheartedly agree with them.]

Bill Gates points out that all those IE security holes have not been
Microsoft's fault.  (The first step towards recovery is recognizing
that you have a problem.)

[top output on redhat9, with one real-time priority process]
25788 root     18446744073709551565   0 10076 9.8M  2816 S     0.9  1.9   0:01
26064 root      21   0  1508 1508  1184 S     0.3  0.2   0:00   0 curl

[I am continually amazed at how redhat is able to break utilities that worked
and work on other distributions without flaws again and again and again...]

That depends. There is C++ and there is C++. There are many different
sorts of C++, I'll talk about 2 of them:

Category 1 code is 'C with classes and on-the-fly variable
declarations'. It uses macros, bad encapsulation, no const-correctness,
etc. Category 1 code tends to either use object oriented programing
exclusively, or use it combined with procedural programming. Other
programming paradigms are extremely rare. It often uses non-portable hacks
because Standard-knowledge is scarce among category 1 coders. Category 1
code is seen mostly in Flipcode and articles and forums. Also
it is seen in almost every API ever developed by Microsoft. A slightly
less bad version of category 1 code is seen in libraries that call
themselves "high-quality C++ libraries" but that don't even use a single
namespace and rely heavily on macros and other unsafe preprocessing
techniques where this is totally unnecessary. Most of those libraries are
that way because they were started before the 1998 C++ Standard's stuff
got implemented in main-stream compilers.

Category 2 code is what I'd like to see as the meaning of the term
"C++ code". It is Standard-compliant, uses multiple programming
paradigms and is pushing the language to the max (and beyond ;) to
create easy to use, efficient, highly-reusable and easy to extend
programs/libraries/modules/etc. Unfortunately, category 2 code is
hard to write when you have to work with incompetent compilers like
MSVC6/7. Category 2 code is mostly seen in:

[On "Main Loop with Fixed Time Steps", a Windows programmer commented:]

Just to point out, With a tick being a maximum of FFFFFFFFh, you *only*
have about 49 days of tick time since the system has started! Though I
doubt any game or even system runs for that long.

"The best writing is rewriting," wrote E. B. White. Every good writer
knows this, and it's true for software too.

> think it needs the Ultimate Refactor..."rm -rf programs/Xserver/GL"

... and I was told "rm -rf" means "read mail, really fast!"

[this is not a blogggggg]
One fine day, I removed the "video=matrox:off" from my kernel commandline,
having removed the matrox card from my machine months ago. Promptly, the
proprietary nvidia driver greeted me with:

   NVIDIA: Failed to map framebuffer memors

Adding the video option back made it work again. No, I do not have any
framebuffer devices compiled into the kernel, either...

[taken out of a public mail by a journalist... I have never seen anybody
using so many abbreviations...]

Hi Volker -

alles klar ..!? Bin mit dem Buch i. Stretch .. Lektorat / Korrektorat
Architekturbuch ... wie üblich, kennst das ja wahrsch. auch ... alles zu
spät ...

Dann gehts direktemang in die Ferien (2 Wochen Gomera ab komm. SA ...)

Ja, und dann find ich doch Volker ganz Massiv im Briefkasten a. SA ..

schönes Foto von dir ... 1 Seite .. 2 seiten Interview, m. Fortsetzung im
nächsten Heft ..!!!  (äusserst rar b. nem Interview ...)

herzliche Grüsse


PS: Mein Wissenschtf.Kollege und Filmemacher ist der Meinung, dass das Thema
'Copyrights, Commons, Freedom' etc ...spannend wäre, aber schlecht fürs TV
... Du kannst prakt. nichts mehr themat. Anspruchsvolles machen ... auch b.
Arte war irgend nen Problem (fällt mir auf d. Schnelle nicht mehr ein ...
schon ein paar Wochen her ...)

From: William Lee Irwin III <>
Subject: Re: silent semantic changes with reiser4
Message-ID: <>

On Thu, Aug 26, 2004 at 02:02:29AM -0700, Hans Reiser wrote:
> How old are you?  I thought you were the guy at Linux Tag with fashion
> oriented hair who gave a talk on his XFS work?  Did I confuse you with
> someone else?

Index: mm1-2.6.9-rc1/CREDITS
--- mm1-2.6.9-rc1.orig/CREDITS  2004-08-26 10:37:57.424567967 -0700
+++ mm1-2.6.9-rc1/CREDITS       2004-08-26 11:35:24.977260109 -0700
@@ -2677,6 +2677,14 @@
 S: 79098 Freiburg
 S: Germany

+N: Hans Reiser
+D: official Linux kernel hairstyle critic
+S: 6979 Exeter Dr
+S: Oakland, CA 94611
 N: Joerg Reuter

Partial lynx-output for mail sent by "T-Online Vertragsbrief":

Better ligthing does not affect crime rates

Label: "Difficulty of owning Windows vs. Difficulty to make this graph"

[rxvt-unicode (mine! :) vs. gnome-terminal :)]
Upgrading to major: the first person to fix this (fix = performance is
within a factor of 2 of rxvt-unicode for all four of the tests here) gets
$50 from me, or an expensive dinner + all the beer they can handle if they
ever visit Sydney, Australia ;)
Tagging this critical+urgent. How dare I, you ask? Doubling the reward -
$100 if this is fixed (see above) before September 1, 2004. $0 after that
(and I'll return it to a normal bug ;) If anyone else wants to contribute
to whoever ends up fixing this, please join in..

Dass die Flimmerkiste ein beliebiges "Nullmedium" sei, beklagen
Kulturkritiker von jeher. Doch nun zeigt selbst ein unvoreingenommener
Blick aufs TV-Programm: Die Quote ist heilig, das Niveau sinkt auf breiter
Front - auch bei ARD und ZDF. Verdummt die Na

[...] Tech savvy people will be inclining towards clicking the cancel
button by default whenever they are presented a question which they don't
fully understand, or didn't expect to see. Regular computer users will
be inclined to press the Ok button instead, because they fear that by
clicking cancel they might be causing something they don't understand not
to work, something that they probably won't be able to fix afterwards
anyway. If a geek fucks up somehow, he'll know what to do to fix it
anyway, so there's no harm done clicking cancel. [...]

I once had a postmodern intertextual moment at a drugstore bookrack when I
picked up a paperback with the following title: Bram Stoker's Dracula:
A Novelization Based on the Original Screenplay.

[bts show 215647]
[yes, the whole thing]

[bts show 254316]
> > The problem is not in luit, it's not in XTerm, it's not even in termcap;
> > it's in the morass of complexity that some mindless jerk who'll be first
> > against the wall when the revolution comes standardised as ISO 2022.
> ( google suggests 2022 has many fans ;-)

We'll use a larger wall.

[Maedhros35 about "Clockwork Orange" on IMDB]
This is a movie I would not recommend even to my worst enemy. It is a
horrible picture, containing too much random violence and rape committed
by four no-goods in white pyjamas, than is good for anyone too watch.

The only fun moment is when the main character, being brainwashed into a
non-violent state of mind, is being bashed by his former friends.

There may be some "hidden message" in this movie about society and blah,
but the message (not too well brought) is completely drowned.

It is not even a waste of your time, it is worse than that. Avoid at all
["too much violence" but "the only fun moment".... What the...!?]

When searching on google for:

   kakerlake schabe made

Google asked me wether I instead wanted to look for:

   kakerlake _schwabe_ made

What we learned this week;
"Hell is a bad place to be and renders with 8-12fps"

"Britain is one of only three countries in the world (the others are
Germany and Egypt) enduring stricter censorship today than 25years ago"

23:07 <schmorp> libtool is soo broken
23:07 <schmorp> ./libtool gcc-3.4 ...
23:07 <schmorp> libtool: compile: unable to infer tagged configuration
23:07 <schmorp> libtool: compile: specify a tag with `--tag'
23:07 <schmorp> ...
23:07 <schmorp> libtool --tag=ulubulu
23:07 <schmorp> libtool: ignoring unknown tag ulubulu
23:07 <schmorp> and it works

History does not repeat itself. Historians repeat each other.
	-- Lord Balfour

The whole of Mozilla is just one big focus bug.

<Beerman> When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then
I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked
him to forgive me.

> there are currently no active, reliable ways to obtain the program listings for New Zealand television

I have been to NZ. You have no television.

[IMDB user about "What?" by Roman Polanski]
"What?" fills the gap for those who get a kick out of 70's porn plots, but
get bored during the sex scenes.

I say to you that the VCR is to the ... American public as the Boston
strangler is to the woman home alone.
- Jack Valenti (CEO, MPAA)

[Bruce Schneier]
SP2 is an important security upgrade to Windows XP, and I hope it is
widely installed among licensed XP users.  I also hope it is quickly
pirated, so unlicensed XP users can also install it.  In order for me
to remain secure on the Internet, I need everyone to become more
secure.  And the more people who install SP2, the more we all benefit.

[From Paul Eggert]
[...] Worse, HP-UX asctime rejects any tm_year that is negative; this
violates the C standard, but HP won't take my bug reports since I'm not a
HP-UX customer. [...]

>>>Just curious, If I recall correctly, didn't Forth used to be FORTH?
>>Since FORTH is not an acronym (the way BASIC, LISP, FORTRAN and C are)
>>but a (deliberate) misspelling of "fourth", when it became possible to
>>use LC the fashion became to do so. My book, "Scientific FORTH" (1992)
>>spelled it in UC.
> BASIC, LISP and FORTRAN are acronyms.  C isn't.

C isn't all caps, just the initial letter.

> According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language

I'm sorry, but that's like quoting Bjarne Stroustrup on correct ISO C


I remember Elwyn Berlekamp describing what goes on at computer go
tournaments (where computer programs play go against each other) - unlike
at computer chess tournaments where the programs far surpass their
creators, at go tournaments the creators sit there and look at a game in
play and say things to each other like, "Gosh, I wonder if my program will
repair that weakness before your program notices it."

21:40 <oesi> sansho: du bist kindisch. :)
21:40 <sansho> oesi: das hab ich mir von dir abgeguckt

MarkD [-]: The trouble with political jokes is that some of them get elected

A coherent understanding of Philosophy will convince you that you are
competent to understand the universe and achieve the human values that
make life meaningful. You will know when you know something and when you
don't, when you understand something and when you don't, and why. You
will also realize why morality and ethics are too important to be left to
anyone but yourself. You will learn that there are no shortcuts to truth,
no authorities you can follow blindly, and perhaps most important, that
nothing at all exists except reality. In sum, you will know what human
existence means and implies.

[Introduction to Philosophy, Joel Katz]

> > Casts from void* are necessary in C++, not in C.
> I am aware... I'm fishing for more info!  Perhaps if I reposted again and
> said you were wrong I'll get more...
> You're WRONG!

void* is implicitly converted to the destination pointer type (C99 §
and §

From: Allin Cottrell <>
In the DOS days, I had a scattering of students who really
knew about computers.  In the XP days, I have none.

[another variation, more useful]
A. It should be obvious.
Q. How is it hard?
A. Because it makes it hard to follow conversations.
Q. Why is top-posting bad?

[windows is a good place to learn programming]
Subject: Linux c prog doesn't work on Sun Solaris Machine....?

Compiled using g++ on linux and then I tried to execute it on Solaris.
The error message was something like "can't execute a.out"

- works ok on linux
- ran chmod so Sun user has execute/read/etc permissions. chmod u=rwx

Any clues why?
I am new to the non windows world.


> I want to write some data on the EEPROM of a PIC 16F877 microcontroller via
> serial port rs232. What library can I use with a gcc compiler to perform
> this ?

This is not a C question. Please try asking again in comp.arch.embedded where
we will advise you to use an 8051, AVR, or MSP430 instead of the PIC.

In message <c4k0mj$fmp$>
 (Dan Pop) wrote:

> In <> writes:
> >The text of the standard only yields one reasonable interpretation.
> Yup, mine!

[links-2.1pre13 ChangeLog]
Thu Oct  9 16:44:10 GMT 2003 mikulas:

        Do not print 1000l on FreeBSD console on exit

[an old question, revisited]

> can any one translate the following codes into c++ codes,

This is comp.lang.c.  We do C, not C++.  We do not translate C into
obfuscated languages.  The good news is that your code already _is_ C++.

I didn't say he was incorrect. I said he was an idiot.

according to babelfish "glibber" in german means "more glibber" in english :-)

[Debian Bug #163625 features one of my favourite bug report subjects:]
Installing additional mozilla Debian packages
deletes additionally installed mozilla packages

[Aus einer Werbung für dne "Windows-Berater". Es ist erschreckend, zeigt
aber, das manche Maßnahmen von Microsoft völlig irreführenderweise als
Sicherheitsmaßnahme verstanden und dargestellt werden. Ich frage mich, wie
DRM in Zukunft aufgenommen und beworben werden wird...]

"Kaum angekündigt, schon ist der Registrierungsschutz geknackt"

Das neue Windows XP lässt sich nur mit einem besonderen Registrierungscode
dauerhaft betreiben. Besorgt sich der Anwender diese Lizenz nicht,
wird das System gesperrt. Damit sollen Raubkopien und unerlaubte
Mehrfachnutzung verhindert werden. Kaum vorgestellt, knacken Hacker
diese Verschlüsselung schon. Checklisten zeigen Ihnen, wie dieser Klau
abläuft. Damit Sie sich und Ihr System vor ungebetenen Zugriffen und Viren
schützen können.

[Reiner Gamma]

>> Asshole keep you shit out of until you read
>Dude, thisi is not "".
Yes, it is. Or, it was, till your post cut the crosspost. It was
crossposted to several groups and the person you're replying to will
never get your message.

As this project will always run unknown binary code of proprietary W32
filesystem drivers, the code can never be trusted.

(look at the BUGS section... very funny to read, btw., it's
 a sourceforge project called GT.M).

                bigger things. We\\\\\\\'d be using C + asm and Hax
01:15 <Sesse> we all the backslashes?
01:15 <schmorp> no idea, i have these in some of my descriptions, too
01:15 <schmorp> it seems that sourceofrge does " -> \" on every deascription change
01:15 <Sesse> sounds like php
01:15 <schmorp> i guess it's written in php
01:15 <schmorp> *g*
01:15 <Sesse> :-D
[...] At the beginning I didn't expect that I would actually succeed,
since I thought I would need almost half of that just for the headers. I
think my first cut was 458 bytes in size. I was quite pleased with myself
when I trimmed that down to less than 300 bytes, ecstatic when I finally
reached the 255-byte goal, and downright triumphant when I later got it to
work in 238 bytes. By the time I had a 198-byte version, I was just plain
dumbfounded. It's now at 171 bytes. [...]

[...] Americans didn't invent English (although the Brits will happily
disown our mangled version of it! :-) ) [...]

[Eugene Spafford]
During the heights of some of the recent viruses, I was discarding 30Mb of
email per day -- all of it viruses. And I should point out -- viruses for
Windows. There have been something like 100,000 viruses for MS operating
systems, only about 50 for the Mac, and about 3 for commercial Unix
systems. That difference isn't because of a difference in the prevalence
of the machines -- there are basic architectural differences.

If you can't vi it, it sucks.

[from the somewhat outdated xterm-faq]
The documentation is fragmentary (with a comment suggesting that the
author does not know where to find relevant information), and the program
fares badly with vttest. [...] But it suffices for vi.
[.. later]
There is a variation of xvt (ancestor of rxvt) originally known as kvt
bundled with KDE which may be referred to as "kterm", but I do not find it
interesting, other than to comment that it was a poor choice of name.

[I *love* X programs]
 * blip: a debugging routine.  Prints Blip! on stderr with flushing.
void blip()
    fprintf(stderr, "blip!\n");

[pavel machek commenting on a proposed patch]
+       int alternative_order = 999;

Why not 666? :-).

[yosh on gimp-developer]
It's also better to research your suggestions a little, so that they don't
sound completely out there, thereby reinforcing the viewpoint that Windows
users are clueless.

[modularity makes unix systems more secure]

[beware german translations]
dpkg: Warnung - ignoriere Kollision, kann sowieso weitermachen!

[, look around there]
NSA's Backdoor Key from Lotus-Notes

The word "ampersand" is an alteration of the phrase "et, per se and" (that
is: "et by itself [means] and"), which became corrupted to "and, per se
and", and finally, ampersand.

[...] We distinguish three classes of clients: [1st] [...] [2nd] Clients
which accept CompoundText with multiple character sets and parse it
themselves. (Example: emacs, xemacs.) [3rd] [...] In a distant future,
when clients of the first and second kind will have disappeared, [...]

WARNING: RAID-6 is currently highly experimental. If you
use it, there is no guarantee whatsoever that it won't
destroy your data, eat your disk drives, insult your mother,
or re-appoint George W. Bush.

Many Finnish terms for @ are connected with cats. Not content with naming
the sign for what it looks like, Finnish names it for what it looks like
sounds like. In addition to "kissanhnta [cat's tail], "miau," "miumau,"
and "miuku" are all "miau merkki" [meow marks] in Finnish. Other terms
from Finnish include "apinanhanta" [a monkey's tail], or "hiirenhanta"
[mouse's tail]. Some "computer people" use the English word "at."

17:07 <oesi> schmorp: mal ein guter kommentar auf heise zum thema "Bill tourt durch
             die USA und kündigt innovative neuentwicklungen an"
17:08 <oesi> Kommentar war: "was hat er angekündigt: drive-letter in unicode?"

[Ken Lunde about his copy of KS C 5657-1991:]
Here's another interesting note. My official copy of this
standard has all of its 2,856 hanja hand-written.

[cvs, while checking in changes to uunet's radiusd]
confused about file platform.h -- ignoring

And most likely, the FBI didn't tell the hosting company exactly what it
is they wanted. When the Feds come in with a search warrant, they don't
ask for your help. They say, "stand aside" and commence

<ig3l|Guel> If Osama B. isn't in Afghanistan, and if he isn't dead, we believe he is in another country" - US army General

00:56 <oesi> ulpfr: ich schrieb mal einen kompletten mailer in emacs, weil mir rmail
             nicht gefallen hat. man wird aelter und reifer und droppt dann emacs
             einfach :)
00:56 <ulpfr> Weichei

 * Function compares two strings.
 * Return offset in pussy where prick ends if "prick" may penetrate
 * int "pussy" like prick into pussy, -1 otherwise.
static inline int match(const char* prick, const char* pussy, int len2)
        int len1 = strlen(prick); //length of male string

rohw, schleymig und formlos Fleisch wie di Schleuch eines Tündenfischs

/* grab colors before netscape does */
Get_Colours ();

[oesi über apache-2.0]
03:10 <oesi> ist mir egal, ich fahre alle 24h den apache runter...
03:10 <oesi> ich fahre praktisch das 1.3er config-file. das gibt sicherheit :)
03:11 <oesi> ich kann apache nicht stoppen.
03:11 <oesi> apachectl stop
03:11 <oesi> Syntax error on line 1222 of /usr/websys/conf/httpd.conf:
03:11 <oesi> Expected </Perl>> but saw </Perl>
03:12 <oesi> wie konnte ich den starten?
03:12 <schmorp> *rofl*
03:29 <oesi> es ist kein scherz. wirklich:
03:29 <oesi> asp:/usr/websys/conf# apachectl sslstart
03:29 <oesi> asp:/usr/websys/conf# apachectl stop
03:29 <oesi> Syntax error on line 1222 of /usr/websys/conf/httpd.conf:
03:29 <oesi> Expected </Perl>> but saw </Perl>

[...] Here's a demo (username "free", password "speech") [...]

  assert(screen.cur.row >= 0);
#else                           /* drive with your eyes closed */
  MAX_IT(screen.cur.row, 0);

[...] Also, anecdotal evidence from network programmers suggests that the
UDP implementation under Win32 is unstable and overly-unreliable. [...]

> > Ceterum censeo          | PGP encrypted mail preferred.
> > Redmond esse delendam.  | PGP Key at
> Willkomme im Club ....   :-)))

Danke - ich bin schon lange dabei... ;-)
   OpenVMS @ 25      | Martin Vorlaender  |  VMS & WNT programmer

Um die Jahrhundertwende erfand ein Mann namens Friedolin Tär einen
IQ-Test, der die Gesamtpersönlichkeit sehr stark miteinbezog.
Charakterstärke, Grosszügigkeit, flexibles Denken etc. wurden also
mitbewertet. Die Skala mit der Maßeinheit "Tär" wies ein großes Spektrum
auf. Ärzte, Wissenschaftler erreichen IQ's im Megatär-Bereich. Der
Durchschnittsmensch weist einige Kilotär auf. Nach unten gibt es Dezitär,
Centitär... und schießlich Mil(l)itär...

Subject: [Swsusp-devel] 2.6.1: It could go faster if I didn't have egg on my face.

"It's not Hollywood.  War is real, war is primarily not about defeat or
victory, it is about death.  I've seen thousands and thousands of dead
bodies.  Do you think I want to have an academic debate on this subject?"
-- Robert Fisk

[the satellite death spiral: why spacecraft are unnecessarily expensive]
[see also the small satellites homepage]

"Anthropologists concur that America is an exceedingly 'low-touch,'
high-violence culture"
"[...] Republican members of the House of Representatives called for the
resignation of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, whose transgression was to
suggest, in response to a question following a speech to sex educators,
that masturbation was an appropriate subject for classroom discussion.
This remark, according to one congressman, was part of a social movement
that was "killing the moral fiber of America" and just one symptom of
a decline also manifested in reckless driving, an indecisive military
policy-dubbed "mission creep," and homosexuals in the Boy Scouts." [...]

Masturbation is an absolute taboo in the US. Many adults still think that
they are the only ones who do such dirty things.

From: <[...]>
Subject: Re: [...]

Marc wrote on 1/7/2004, 6:57 AM:

 > Congrats. No kidding, you are the first person @aol that ever sent me a
 > sensible mail. I was planning to reject mail from right away
 > since (in the last 8 years at least), nothing good came from there, but you
 > saved it :)

Yeah, I get that a lot, but you've got to know that email
addresses are also used by the people who work for AOL (cough, cough :).

From: Alan Cox
> The code to disable prefetch on Athlon is 300 bytes and hurts your PIV?
> Really? I'll dig back through the code, but I recall it as adding or
> deleting an entry in a table to enable prefetch. If it's affecting PIV the
> code to use prefetch is seriously broken.

Big time. Its over 300 bytes long because its embedded in each inline
prefetch and it causes a branch misprediction almost every time. Amazing
what you find when you actually measure stuff 8)

[FYI: java was officially announced in 1995, and certainly didn't exist
even as a concept before 1991. It's interesting how many people nowadays
claim to have decades of java experience]
On Tue, Dec 16, 2003 at 11:11:54AM -0500, Robert Soros <> wrote:
> I am extremely excited about your ideas to fix freenet and would be
> willing to plug your code into fred (I have fourteen years java
> programming experience.)  Could you provide a link to your code? What

[in a private discussion about some potential problem that would cause]
[mail not to be delivered]
> > On the other hand, I see the same in some mail from RMS.
> Well, just because rms does it does not mean... :)

My point is that the FSF is unlikely to install something that
bounces RMS's mail, at least, not for long.

On Wed, 6 Feb 2002, Piers Cawley wrote:

> David Cantrell <> writes:
> > On Tue, Feb 05, 2002 at 11:16:52AM -0500, Tommie M. Jones wrote:
> >> Anyone know of any perl software that does resume parsing.
> >
> > I don't *think* anyone has implemented continuations in perl, so I fail
> > to see how you can have resumes.  Or are you trying to parse some other
> > language which does support this?

Just because we share a language does not mean we understand each other.

In America there are two meanings for resume.  One being to continue the
other the equivalent of what ya'll call a CV (I think though I've never
heard the term before)  In the second definition resume is pronounced with
a short u.  I think there is a "`" in the proper spelling of the word but
since Americans are not use to using punctuation in their words (other
than to show ownership and contractions) it is usually loss.

echo $package has manual pages available in source form.
echo "However, you don't have nroff, so they're probably useless to you."
            --Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution

AFTER 30 years of "daylight saving" - moving the clocks forward in the
spring and then back again in the autumn - there is still an Abolish
Daylight Saving Committee in New South Wales, Australia.

Added to the usual claims of such campaigns - for example, that the
extra hour of daylight in the evening in summer fades the curtains - is
a new one from ADSC spokeswoman Judith Hall, of Gunnedah, who told the
Sydney Morning Herald: "No man has the right to choose the time of the
rising and setting of the sun, only God."

Reader John McCallum, who told us about this, is surprised Hall doesn't
explain why God doesn't simply exercise this choice. When people insist
on moving their clocks forward, He should just move the sunrise forward
and thwart them that way.

[Defect Report #205 to ISO-C]
There was a unanimous vote that the feature is ugly, and a good consensus
that its incorporation into the standard at the 11th hour was an
unfortunate decision.

02:23 <oesi> Breaking News: SCO stellt per Wahrsager Codeklau in HURD in einem Jahr
             fest ;)


Last updated:  - Invalid Date


Q: What is the state of the object after its lifetime has ended?

A: As a well-known software guru[3] once put it, speaking about a
   similar code fragment and anthropomorphically referring to the
   local object as a "he":

      "He's not pining!  He's passed on!  This parrot is no more!  He
      has ceased to be!  He's expired and gone to meet his maker!
      He's a stiff!  Bereft of life, he rests in peace!  If you hadn't
      nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies!  His
      metabolic processes are now history!  He's off the twig!  He's
      kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down
      the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!  THIS IS AN

                           - Dr. M. Python, BMath, MASc, PhD (CompSci)

[ach du schande]

[a comment on the demonstrations against bush in london]
The police will shoot you.

OK, that's not strictly true. The CIA will shoot you. Then the police will
arrest the CIA. Then American troops will invade.

Just another average day in central London.

[this signature gave me a laugh...]
[...]even better is if there is a system function that sends out an arp

pls. cc my email address



* muppet also hates bloatus notes.  it doesn't need vnc to make it slow.

[From the File::Spec manpage on catdir]
Concatenate two or more directory names to form a complete path ending
with a directory. But remove the trailing slash from the resulting string,
because it doesn't look good, isn't necessary and confuses OS2. [...]

[I love it]

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by."
      - Douglas Adams

Bill Gates is repeating the mantra that users are to blame for insecure
PCs, in an interview with a Canadian newspaper. This refrain is familiar
to the INQUIRER: Gates said more or less the same thing when he addressed
an Assembly of CEOs in Berlin a few weeks ago.

The chief software architect (CSA.'.) told IT Business that perfect code
wasn't the answer to security problems, but firewalls and keeping the
software up to date were more important. The problems that have occurred
this year wouldn't have happened if firms and individuals had set up
their software properly.

He also claims in the article that Microsoft has always had security
patches out before the exploits happened. Developers were also to blame
because they didn't understand the application program interfaces, Gates
told the publication.

And he also claimed that all forms of Unix and Linux have a greater
number of vulnerabilities than Microsoft but don't spread as much because
"they're not as dense" as Windows. Low volume software is hit by
malicious people, high volume software, that is Windows, is hit by people
who want visibility and glory.

[In the FAQ for a bootp client:]

o  You are using --server to point to a server which doesn't run a bootp server

x  Try not using it.

The facts are simple: In Lynn, MA Principal of the Lynn English High
School, Andrew Fila refused to allow teacher of English, Jeremy McKeen,
to show the disputed film in his classes. McKeen had already submitted
Moore's opus to his Department Head, Jane Balesta, for approval which she
had given.

Said Fila, "I just pulled it. This is not the time nor the place to be
showing something like that. The producer (Moore) is also an anti war
person as well."

"Ich habe keine Gefühle, merken sie sich das, Walter. Und wenn ich welche
habe, werden sie nie über meine Intelligenz siegen".

["Was ist ein Kopierschutz überhaupt?"]

Damit entspricht Windows der Definition eines illegalen Tools zur Umgehung
des Kopierschutzes und müsste vom Markt genommen werden.
Das Bundesjustizministerium ist der Auffassung, dass die Frage nur durch
ein Gericht zu klären sei. Das Programm "Windows" kenne man zu wenig.
Handelt es sich bei Windows also rechtlich um das Abwehren einer Straftat
oder um das illegale Aushebeln eines Kopierschutzverfahrens?

[A document] Written to answer the often asked question about the requirements
on the kernel to get a POSIX compliant thread implementation. And I don't
mean an implementation like this horrible implementation from IBM.
             -- Ulrich Drepper

GCC generates truly horrible code when no optimization is enabled.
             -- Ulrich Drepper

Most programmers think that the programs they write are fairly well
written and perform as good as possible.  In most cases this is not
correct.     -- Ulrich Drepper

Even though I cannot accept the rejection of fair use rights by the film
and music industry I cannot endorse piracy.
             -- Ulrich Drepper

Never say "PIC Code"!. This is duplication.
             -- Ulrich Drepper

Ping und Netsend laufen jetzt über die Windows API, daher schneller und

[comment from linux/drivers/block/floppy.c]
 * 1999/08/13 -- Paul Slootman -- floppy stopped working on Alpha after 24
 * days, 6 hours, 32 minutes and 32 seconds (i.e. MAXINT jiffies; ints were
 * being used to store jiffies, which are unsigned longs).

[Microsoft creates a problem and inspires an industry to work around it.
Just Great. Also learn about Microsoft Logic(tm): DLL's save memory, so
you need to use them. But please use your own private versions of all your
dlls so that they aren't shared...]

               Pirating Movies

[...] The attackers aren't DVD owners making illegal copies and putting
them on file sharing networks.  The attackers are industry insiders making
illegal copies long before the DVD is ever on the market.

[Look at the time scale...]

[Just funny]

The CEO of Symantec is advocating "legislation to criminalize the
sharing of information and tools online that can be used by malicious
hackers and virus writers."  Doesn't he realize that most of his
company's engineers would end up in jail?

Why is it you forgive Bush for saying "NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL GET OSAMA".
etc. Yet now he could care less about them? Of course, Clinton lies about
sex and that's a huge deal(not that i am justifying what Bubba did)

Why is it when the marines stormed in, they protected the oil fields but
left all the other resources of Iraq to be looted?

Why is it that the White House doesn't want to release information on
9/11, and only gave the investigation a $3 million budget?(it took $70
million to find out Clinton got a BJ, and that's all they found out for
$70 million!!). Meanwhile, even with a pathetic budget, the WH stonewalls
the investigating committee. It's not enough for the WH to just underfund
them, theyve got to make sure they can't get to any usefull information in
the first place!

Buying a Unix machine guarantees you a descent into Hell. It starts when
you plug the computer in and it won't boot. Yes, they really did sell you
a $10,000 computer with an unformatted disk drive.
            -- Philip Greenspun

"If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we
don't believe in it at all." -- Noam Chomsky

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right
to say it." -- not actually from Voltaire

"Our ability to innovate is predicated on our ability to own the
[Kirk Koenigsbauer, strategy manager at Microsoft's MSN]

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is that
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wiuthoit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not
raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

[The world is getting saner and saner. The whole world? No....]

So what actually happens when your Windows XP machine crashes and asks
if you want to send a report? The reports obviously accumulate in some
database, and I can only assume that when one bin piles up with similar
crash memos, the coders get to work. Exactly how many notifications does
Microsoft get? Nobody knows for sure, but based on comments Bill Gates
made at a recent meeting for analysts, the number must be astronomical.
Gates said that 5 percent of Windows machines crash, on average, twice

"...vielleicht praktisch manchmal auch mal geraten, das, wenn auch mal..."
[Johann Gärtner, "Die Republikaner" bei einer Fernsehsendung über ihr
Wahlprogramm. Das Zitat ist repräsentativ.]

Critics of Congress and APA's concessions have analogized this situation
to that of Galileo. At the APA's annual convention in August 1999 in
Boston, an anonymous source, unknown to us, posted stickers around the
convention that satirically read, "If the US Congress says that 'The sun
revolves around the earth,' then that fact will be given most careful
consideration in all articles published by the APA."

"It is insufficient to protect ourselves with laws; we need to protect ourselves with mathematics."
     -- Bruce Schneier

[it took me over 7 minutes to find this movie again on imdb...]
[ it must be good]

[real uses a novel protection scheme...]
raSetPwd(sh->context,"Ardubancel Quazanga"); // set password... lol.

[D-Info 3/2003 Database Dump]
I've written a script that dumps the D-Info 2003 database as tsv to stdout.
No idea why I announce it here...

[Oh My God!]
Subject: aic7(censored) use after free in 2.5.66

[How many squares are on a go-board?]

When I first visited Russia, in 1986, I made friends with a musician whose
father had been Brezhnev's personal doctor. One day we were talking about
life during 'the period of stagnation' - the Brezhnev era. 'It must have
been strange being so completely immersed in propaganda,' I said.

'Ah, but there is the difference. We knew it was propaganda,' replied

A reader sent in this conversation he overheard at a corporate security
desk one morning:

Employee:  I have lost my photo-ID card, can I get a day pass please?

Security Guard: Certainly, what is your serial number?

Employee:  123456

[Security guard pulls up the details on his computer, which includes a
photograph of the employee.]

Security Guard: Do you have a driver's license or another piece of
identification which has your picture on it?

Employee: Why would you need that?

Security Guard: To match against our records.

Employee: A picture of my face?

Security Guard: Yes

Employee: This is my face -- I am wearing it on my head.

Security Guard: I need another piece of ID with a picture on it to
compare against this one.

[Voting in the US might be in for surprises in the future]
[frankly, I don't trust any government if it's easy to fake votes]

MS Windows passwords can be cracked in an average of 13.6 seconds.
Assuming your password consists of just letters and numbers, that is. But
my guess is that almost everyone falls into that category.


Eppur si muove!

"RV K-17"

"We're the world's greatest superpower, but we have a Third World
electricity grid," said New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson.

[where NOT to learn german :)]
<= Es ist 10:45 Uhr / viertel vor elf / dreiviertel zehn.
=> Son las once menos cuarto.

ceterum censeo carthaginem esse delendam
ceterum censeo mundum non delendum esse

Georgia Tornow, Generalsekretärin der Produzentenvereinigung film20 übt
ebenfalls Kritik an der neuen Formulierung. »In anderen Ländern ist
mitunter die Herstellung privater Kopien untersagt. Und in den USA wird
sogar darüber nachgedacht, Geräte zur Kopienherstellung für illegal zu
erklären«, so Tornow laut »«.

[D-Info 2003, on my box:]
Linux-Distribution nicht erkannt. Koennte RedHat sein.

[This patch removed the 75 records limit in D-Info 3/2003 linux for me]
[patch dinfo.i386, YMMV]
<00b8db0: 0084 c075 05ba 4b00 0000 89d0 89ec 5dc3  ...u..K.......].
>00b8db0: 0084 c075 05ba ffff ff7f 89d0 89ec 5dc3  ...u..K.......].

This program was originally begun in 1982 by my grandmother, Mrs.
Verda Spell of Beaumont, TX.  She was writing the program using
an ANSI C compiler on an Osborne I CP/M computer and although my
grandfather (Lockwood Spell) had bought an IBM PC with 256k of
RAM my grandmother would not use it, paraphrasing George Herbert
to the effect that "He who cannot in 64k program, cannot in 512k."
She had used Microsoft BASIC and although she had nothing against
it she said repeatedly that she didn't understand why Digital
Research didn't "sue the socks off of Microsoft" for version 1.0
of MSDOS and so I reckon that she hoped to undercut Microsoft's
entire market and eventually build a new software empire on
the North End of Beaumont. Her programming efforts were cut
tragically short when she was thrown from a Beaumont to Port
Arthur commuter train in the summer of 1986. I found the source
code to bwBASIC on a single-density Osborne diskette in her knitting
bag and eventually managed to have it all copied over to a PC
diskette. I have revised it slightly prior to this release. You
should know, though, that I myself am an historian, not a programmer.

[what high dan players in go think while playing:]
"Must kill ... black stones ... black stones ... must die"

[the one and only time rcp failed for me, at the very end of the transfer]
rcp: protocol screwup: mtime.sec not delimited

Lester Moore,
Shot in the head with a .44.
No Les, no more.

Mormon advice on how to abstain from wanking

[for the rest of this entertaining document see the freesite]

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake

As we will discuss later, multiple layers of hashing are used in the
different steps of MS-CHAPv2. While this hashing serves to obscure some
of the values, it is unclear what the cryptographic significance of them
are. All they seem to do is to slow down the execution of the protocol.
It is unclear to us why this protocol is so complicated.
The Server concatenates the password-hash-hash, the 24-byte NT response,
and the literal string "Magic server to client constant", and then hashes
the result with SHA.

> Für viele wird interessant sein, dass ich bisher bei jedem Kunden
> rechnerisch nachweisen konnte, dass OpenSource !immer! der teurere Weg
> ist!
Das bedeutet, daß durch Offenlegung des Source Codes eines Produkts
plötzlich höhere Aufwände entstehen?  Was für ein Kundensegment betreust
Du denn?  Analphabeten?

"Der Sun-Forte-Compiler ist näher am C++-Standard als G++"
[Jörg Schilling, CeBit 2003]

17:21 <elmex> ok, sex kann ich nicht, aber ich kann vim und Perl ;)

[Biggest ping rtt I've ever seen]
64 bytes from icmp_seq=473 ttl=128 time=779.5 ms
64 bytes from icmp_seq=474 ttl=128 time=524.1 ms
64 bytes from icmp_seq=475 ttl=128 time=275.6 ms
64 bytes from icmp_seq=539 ttl=128 time=656365.4 ms
64 bytes from icmp_seq=540 ttl=128 time=655365.5 ms

[I once used a vped.conf from windows on linux, and then had to:]
tcpdump -eni\\\\.\\{F2CB3DC8-1

[links are free ;)]

Can software development be elevated from the Microsoft style?

[openssl, crypto/evp/evp_enc.c]

  /* One positive side-effect of US's export
   * control history, is that we should at least
   * be able to avoid using US mispellings of
   * "initialisation"? */

[man pem]
Although the PEM routines take several arguments in almost all applications most of them are set to 0 or NULL.


/* ``If you can't do it in
    ANSI C, it isn't worth doing.''
                  -- Unknown        */

... scorp sind lucker und use script lamer aber über cheater aufregen
mehr nich und zu fünft in nem raum sitzen und dann public zocken und dann
skillig vorkommen ...


[back to the roots. you might not understand the following, but
this list is about things _I_ find funny, not you... :)]
00:16 <elmex> 'mit windows netzwerk zu debuggen ist ungefaehr so sinnvoll wie eine
              gehirnoperation mit einem vorschlaghammer'
00:18 <oesi> elmex: da ich in deinem ignore bin, kann ich ja volltrottel sagen.
             ethereal rennt seit jahren unter win32
00:18 <elmex> oesi: ja, aber netzwerk nicht ;)

... Den Amerikanern sind Zäpfchen ebenso wie rektales Fiebermessen absolut
suspekt; der Verdacht der Kinderschändung steht sofort unausgesprochen im
Raum. Zäpfchen ("Suppositorium") werden allenfalls in der Notfallmedizin
im Krankenhaus verwendet. Haben Sie ein Kind, das an Asthma oder
Pseudo-Krupp-Anfällen leidet, bringen Sie sich einen entsprechenden Vorrat
an Zäpfchen unbedingt mit, erwähnen Sie diese aber, soweit möglich, nicht
vor amerikanischen Ärzten. ...

sendmail ist wie masturbation mit einer gurkenraspel, erzeugt viele spaene
aber wenig freude.

[from a deviance.nfo, looking for new members, I think it's waaay funny]
 - you are a Unix guru with good Ansi-C software developing knowledge
   and understanding how to prevent network security vulnerabilities.
   That means you must be able to code to ansi-c guru level. And you
   must also have a good coder perspective of hostbase and network
   based intrusion detection systems. You should be able to code tools
   to generically prevent stack and heap buffer overflows on unix in
   Ansi-C. And Be able to code tools to look after a group of systems
   and code sniffing avoidance tools. And you can configure a system
   in ways to prevent packet sniffers and "man in the middle" attacks.

17:39 <schmorp> marco: flüge von hannover/dortmund [nach sofia] etc. sind glatt
                doppelt so teuer wie die gleichen von stuttgart/münchen/frankfurt
17:39 <marco> schmorp: da wollen zu viele weg und zu wenig hin... also sind die
              fluege dort nur halb ausgelastet *g*

For me, this article simply illustrates that centralised trust models
don't work well in practise.

[Rumsfeld in a CNN interview]
There is an old saying, in the pentagon:
"ready, fire, aim."

[...] You're allowed to resell the [windows] media but not the
license. "Unfortunately" for Microsoft, this distinction is illegal in
free countries like Germany [1].

[1] The current german governement is actively trying to change this
part of the german law. That's what you get for electing morons who
might look good on TV. At this point, we're already on U.S. levels.

The GPL does not restrict you. Contrary, it uses copyright law to
establish a pool of software with much more freedom as copyright law gives
to you. It only does not give you so much freedom to deny other people the
same freedoms. The copyright holders can only do so, because copyright law
itself give you none of these rights at all.
Wolfgang Walter

burro: i once played against a computer
burro: it seemed very clever
burro: but then all its groups died in yose
burro: it forgot to defend later..
burro: oops
burro: accidental poetry

[about a go game between a pro player and some really good amateur,
 where white could have lived easily but decided to risk it]
yoyoma [7k]: white is pro, rather die gloriosly than live in gote with a7!

[from the default config of the oh-so-broken unrealircd]

"In fact the whole of Japan is pure invention. There is no such country, there are no such people."
-- Oscar Wilde

[a principle used in florida's law]
"guilty until proven innocent"

Wonderful news!  A little Jewish woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital,
said, "Hello, darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the
information regarding your patients. I want to know if the patient is
getting better, or doing like expected, or is getting worse."  The voice
on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room
number?" She said, "Yes, darling! she's Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."  He
said, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two
full meals, her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back
as normal, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of
hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send
her home Tuesday at twelve o' clock."  The woman said, "Thank God! That's
wonderful! Oh! that's fantastic, darling!... That's wonderful news!"  The
man on the phone said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a
close family member or a very close friend!"  She said, "I'm Sarah Finkel
in 302! My doctor doesn't tell me shit!

// NB: Start ostringstream buffers at 512 bytes. This is an
// experimental value (pronounced "arbitrary" in some of the
// hipper english-speaking countries), and can be changed to
// suit particular needs.
_M_buf_size_opt = 512;

[Walkthrough SANITARIUM]
... Deshalb suchst du erneut den Wassertempel auf. ... Dort haust du als
Grimwall den Lukas ... Darauf hin öffnet der Clown seinen Mund und du
kannst als Olmec die Melodie ...

[Onibaba - Great Movie]

[Kuroneko - I'd like to see :(]

[<Sesse> microsoft finally takes security seriously]
Error Message: Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 Passwords

GNU Emacs kurz und gut. Amazon-Verkaufsrang 11.300
vi - Editor. Kurz und gut. Amazon-Verkaufsrang 2.333
XML für Dummies. Amazon-Verkaufsrang 225.881
JavaScript für Dummies. Dynamische Websites selbst gemacht. Amazon-Verkaufsrang 24.576


[...] Obviously you have to decide well in advance why you are doing
[seppuku] [...] Resistance, remonstrance, show of loyalty, affirmation of
the correctness of one's own position, expiation of a crime and the wiping
out of disgrace are all perfectly good reasons; being refused a work visa
is not [...]

Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd
all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to
repetitive electronic music." --Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

[some hilights from:]

_Einfach erklärt_

     Ein Hintergrundbild und 12 Xterms
Globale Variable
     Parameterübergabemechanismus in 4GLs
     Den Code habe ich von meinem Vorgaenger geerbt.
     dieses Programm besteht aus mehreren Funktionen
     Wir mußten ein Flußdiagramm malen, um es zu debuggen.
Windows 95
     Das Fortran 77 der Benutzungsoberflächen
     Ich habe ja auch nie bezweifelt, daß emacs ein tolles Betriebssystem
     ist. Aber um mit Linux oder Windows konkurrieren zu können, fehlt ihm
     ein vernünftiger Editor.
     $ telnet
     Trying 942884947298374923847982472983. 2398749874987249247.
     2398472372349. 3249782374927898324. 2987238479874987398634.
     2987428901171209471. 23987432923. 23478987923.
Die fünf Sinne des C++-Programmierers
     Der Schwachsinn, der Blödsinn, der Wahnsinn, der Unsinn und der Stumpfsinn.
     Meine C-64-Basic-Übungen hat niemand zu Gesicht bekommen, während die
     in PHP verbrochenen Laufstall-Verunfallungen heutiger Milchgesichter
     die Welt verpesten und womöglich von Schlipstraeger-Deppen als
     e-Commerce-Lösung gekauft worden sind.
     Wenn Du GWBASIC im Dos-Emulator laufen läßt bist Du auch
     plattformunabhängig! Du brauchst nur einen Dos-Emulator!
[94: Copyright left out, too long, see original url]

[logic & fallacies]

In the Arthur Penn film "Night Moves," someone asks Gene Hackman for an
appraisal of Eric Rohmer's work, to which he replies, "it's like watching
paint dry."

[Keith Packard about some design holes in X that lead to XRender]
The rules themselves may be broken, but their existence is of vital

[_very_ good pages, read them all!]
Many things have been hacked onto Win32; unfortunately, actually using
Windows-based facilities has two massive detrimental effects:

   You have to trust Microsoft.

   There are a number of things that I would trust Microsoft with. I trust
   Microsoft to continue to release buggy software such as the Windows 98
   release that needed patches to survive to 1999, let alone 2000. I trust
   Microsoft to continue to release software that gets more bloated such
   that it requires as much memory as systems can support just to support
   useless chrome.

   But control over whether my code will continue to be usable next year
   whether due to technical or licensing changes is not one of the things
   I'd like to trust them with.

[when choosing "About" from the mozilla menu]
[now, which OS let's us enjoy similar error messages all the time? ;)]
XML Parsing Error: undefined entity
Location: jar:resource:///chrome/en-US.jar!/locale/en-US/global/about.xhtml
Line Number 90, Column 15:
<li>Copyright &copy; 1998-2002 by <a href="about:credits">Contributors</a> to

[from the kanon 10% english translation patch README]
A Japanese effect not found in English is the wonderful verbless sentence,
which I like so much that I've translated a few literally. I do know
English grammar, I assure you.

Giant hornets regularly attack beehives.  Typically, an attack begins when
a single hornet captures a lone bee nearby the hive.  After several of
these perimeter skirmishes, one hornet leaves a marking pheromone at the
hive's entrance.  This pheromone attracts the other hornets, who arrive
en masse and attack the beehive.  The bees' stingers can't penetrate the
hornets' armor, so it's a one-sided slaughter; something like 30,000 bees
can be killed in a few hours by 30-40 hornets.

Japanese honeybees, however, have evolved an interesting defensive
strategy.  When a hornet marks the hive's entrance, the bees guarding the
entrance return to the hive and wait for the attacking hornets.  This has
the effect of luring the first attacking hornets into the hive, rather
than allowing them to start their attack outside.  Simultaneously, over
1000 worker bees in the hive leave the combs and mass just inside the
hive's entrance.  When a hornet tries to enter the hive, the workers
surround it, forming a ball of bodies, and cook it to death with their
body heat.  The bees also release a pheromone that draws ever more bees
from the hive's interior to come to the entrance and defend the nest.

This strategy must be perfect in order to be successful.  If the bees fail
in killing the first hornet attackers, then the hornet pheromone gets
stronger, and more hornets arrive to reinforce their attack.  By sheer
numbers, the hornets can overpower the bees.

Source:  Bernd Heinrich, "The Thermal Warriors: Strategies of Insect
Survival," Harvard University Press, 1996.

[fixed in latest service packs, but still funny ;)]
The following neat little program, when compiled and run, will completely
crash XP (and any earlier version of NT) (when I ran it, XP rebooted). I
don't recommend you really try this program, but if you do, save all your
work etc first:

#include <stdio.h>

int main (void) {
     while (1)
         printf ("\t\t\b\b\b\b\b\b");

     return 0;

[you might point your windows-using-friends to this page, it
 contains a lot of funny FUD ;)]

Security experts have been saying for years that the the security of
the Windows family of products is hopelessly inadequate. Now there is a
rigorous government certification confirming this.

[mms_client after finishing the download]
everything done. Thank you for downloading a media file containing
proprietary and patentend technology.

I wouldn't want to win the Steven Spielberg Award - he is an amateur!
     -- Aki Kaurismäki

"The Gödelian structure of the unity of levels of Reality associated
with the logic of the included middle implies that it is impossible to
construct a complete theory for describing the passage from one level to
the other and, a fortiori, for describing the unity of levels of Reality."

1. Das von den Parteien eingeführte Listenwahlrecht verstößt gegen
Art. 38, Abs. 1, Satz 1 Grundgesetz (GG): »Die Abgeordneten des Deutschen
Bundestages werden in allgemeiner, unmittelbarer, freier, gleicher und
geheimer Wahl gewählt.« Danach muß es dem Bürger möglich sein, seinen
Abgeordneten unmittelbar zu wählen. Die Wahl von Parteienlisten ist also
verfassungswidrig, nicht zuletzt deshalb, weil hierbei Kandidaten zum Zuge
kommen, die der Listenwähler nicht wählen will.

2. Der Fraktionszwang verstößt ebenfalls gegen das Grundgesetz. Satz
2 des Art. 38, Abs. 1, lautet nämlich: »Sie (die Abgeordneten) sind
Vertreter des ganzen Volkes, an Aufträge und Weisungen nicht gebunden
und nur ihrem Gewissen unterworfen.« Wenn Fraktionsvorsitzende den frei
gewählten Abgeordneten einer Fraktionsdisziplin unterwerfen (und das noch
unter Androhung von Sanktionen), erteilen sie Weisungen darüber, wie die
Abgeordneten der Partei abzustimmen haben. Es handelt sich dann um eine
Form fraktionsinternen imperativen Mandats.

3. Die überbordende Staatsverschuldung (vor allem im Bund) verstößt gegen
Art. 115 des GG. Darin heißt es in Abs. 1, Satz 2: »Die Einnahmen aus
Krediten dürfen die Summe der im Haushaltsplan veranschlagten Ausgaben für
Investitionen nicht überschreiten; Ausnahmen sind nur zulässig zur Abwehr
einer Störung des gesamtwirtschaftlichen Gleichgewichts.« Unter Fachleuten
besteht nicht der geringste Zweifel, daß das vorgeschriebene Kreditlimit
(Höhe der »Ausgaben für Investitionen«) durch Haushaltstricks sträflich
überschritten wurde. Die Folge: Im Jahre 2001 erreichte die Verschuldung
der Gebietskörperschaften die unvorstellbare Höhe von 1.210 Mrd. Euro (im
Bund: 700 Mrd. Euro); das sind 79 Prozent des jährlichen Volkseinkommens
von 1.531 Mrd. Euro.

[just FMI (for my information)]

[perldoc perlboot]
Typically, each @ISA has only one element (multiple elements means
multiple inheritance and multiple headaches)

[I find that all this stallman-bashing is a sure sign that that
 "linux" thing will fail]
In lists.linux.kernel.development, Larry McVoy wrote:
Richard Stallman started the free software foundation. He built the
compiler, library and zillions of other tools that developers use on a day
to day basis. He slept at the offices of MIT while he spent his time,
effort and money building up the Free Software Foundation.

Though many people differ with him on a wide variety of issues, he
deserves respect from all because he has devoted twenty years of his
life to the public good.

You, on the other hand, develop and sell a proprietary software product.
You convinced a large number of kernel developers (most importantly
Linus himself) to use your proprietary product to develop free software,
so that you could tell potential customers "Gee! Look how great my
software is! It's used to develop the linux kernel!"

You don't care about free software Larry. You're just glad that you have
a poster child to display your effort. Want proof? Look at how you have
treated numerous kernel developers when you found out that they worked
on free software projects that could potentially compete with your
software some day -- you revoke their "free" license to use your
software to work on the linux kernel!

Richard is trying to change the world into a better place. You, however,
are trying to get rich, and you're using free software as a stepping
stone to promote your proprietary software. Nothing wrong with getting
rich of course -- I'd love to be rich too. But you certainly don't
deserve to be lumped into the same group as RMS.

[perldoc perlreftut]
What does line 4 do here?
This is Perl, so it does the exact right thing.

[perldoc perlreftut]
Think of the President of the United States: a messy, inconvenient bag of
blood and bones.  But to talk about him, or to represent him in a computer
program, all you need is the easy, convenient scalar string "George Bush".

[rise and fall of free software standards]
* GNU Gettext and %expect
  GNU Gettext asserts 10 s/r conflicts, but there are 7.  Now that
  Bison dies on incorrect %expectations, we fear there will be
  too many bug reports for Gettext, so _for the time being_, %expect
  does not trigger an error when the input file is named `plural.y'.

Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
                -- Leonard Brandwein

[11:57] <schmorp>
[11:57] <schmorp> you know what wannados are?
[11:58] <Arvoreen> the french pendant of aol users ??
[11:58] <schmorp> nope
[11:58] <Arvoreen> then no clue
[11:58] <schmorp> "people who fail before they even try"
[12:00] <Zeograd> wanadoo was actually named following this idea, *sigh*
[12:00] <schmorp> not really, yes?
[12:00] <Zeograd> yes
[12:00] <schmorp> ;);)
[12:03] <schmorp> that "yes" sounded really painful
[12:03] <Zeograd> more than you could imagine :)

[11:37] <Arvoreen> Oui mon francais est un peu
[11:38] <Zeograd> Arvoreen: not bad, it doesn't mean much but it sounds french :)

A Russian hacker was sentenced to three years in prison here in the
United States for breaking computer crime laws here.  It's an
interesting story.  He was in Russia at the time, and broke no laws in
his country.  However, the U.S. prosecution broke Russian laws to
collect evidence against him.  The judge agreed with the FBI's
assertion that Russian law didn't apply to them. Isn't international
jurisprudence fun?

[02:58] <Sesse> microsoft finally gets it:
[02:58] <Sesse>     Visual Basic .NET delivers the feature most requested by existing Visual Basic
[02:58] <Sesse>     developers--fewer bugs in the code they write.
[03:00] <Sesse> "VB programmers have finally found out they lack talent, and blame Microsoft" ;-)

[found at]
the trouble with the global village are all the global village idiots.
   - Paul Ginsparg.

prionbrain: A joke I just read: " A girl phoned me the other day and
said, .. come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. There was nobody

> described above, CONFIG_XBOX_SUPPORT will depend on CONFIG_PCI.

Which seems fair enough. ISA bus X-box systems are suprisingly rare

[05:06] <elmex> windows has 2 left hands when it comes to being an OS


[...] In particular, the following behaviour proposed or observed in some
implementations is not UTF-8 and should never be presented as such. First,
UTF16 surrogate pairs could be encoded in UTF-8 as two sequences of 3
bytes each (this behaviour is observed in some Java implementations).

    .+'''+.         .+'''+.         .+'''+.         .+'''+.         .+''
   /       \       /       \       /       \       /       \       /
.+'         `+...+'         `+...+'         `+...+'         `+...+'

From: "David S. Miller"

> Then shouldn't the thing thats different from the norm be programmed into a header file which contains how certain functions should be+++

If I gave you a dollar, would you go out and buy some newlines
to use in future emails?

Could somebody drag the Irix team kicking and screaming into the 1980's,

I realize it might be quite painful for them, but maybe you could buy them
a disco tape, so they'd feel a little bit more at home.

                Linus "Stayin' alive, stayin' alive" Torvalds

Yesterday, the local Brazilian authorities signed a decree stating that the
Brazilian daylight saving period will start on November 3rd 2002 and will
last until February 16th 2003.

So, clocks will be set one hour forward on November 3rd (12:00 a.m. will be
changed to 1:00 a.m.) and at midnight (0:00 am) on February 16th,  Brazil
will adjust its clocks back one hour (23:00 pm on Feb 15th) marking the

The reason for the delay this year has to do with elections in Brazil.

Unlike in the United States, elections in Brazil are 100% computerized and
the results are known almost immediately.  Yesterday,  it was the first
round of the elections when 115 million Brazilians voted for  President,
Governor,  Senators, Federal Deputies, and State Deputies. Nobody is
counting (or re-counting) votes anymore and we know there will be a second
round for the Presidency and also for some Governors. The 2nd round will
take place on October 27th.

The reason why the DST will only begin November 3rd is that the thousands
of electoral machines used cannot have their time changed, and since the
Constitution says the elections must begin at 8:00 AM and end at 5:00 PM ,
the Government decided to postpone DST, instead of changing the
Constitution (maybe, for the next elections, it will be possible to change
the clock)...

[boycot your enemies]
> We're a business.  We're a business which happens to be committed to
> helping the kernel team because we think that the kernel is vital to the
> world at large.  Helping the kernel absolutely does not translate to
> helping people who happen to be our competitors.  By your own

Stop lying. Your job is to make lots of money and you are using Linux as
cheap advertising. You are trying to make people pay *you* to do kernel
development (as it stands you want $5000 for any bk-using developer inside
RedHat and SuSE).

I hope your company dies ASAP and bitkeeper stops poisoning air here.


A: No.
Q: Should I include quotations after my reply?

> Incidently unlimited permission is granted to use disks containing only
> GNU/Linux software as footballs without royalties.  All other usage of
> disks as footballs will be considered on a per case basis.

I would be inclined to allow this for Windows drives instead. They contain
no useful data.

bill davidsen

   In the switching software (written in C)
   there was a long do..while construct,
   which contained a switch statement,
   which contained an if clause,
   which contained a break,
   which was intended for the if clause,
   but instead broke from the switch statement.

   - Network message explaining the breakdown of the AT&T long-distance
     network January 15, 1990

[From "password retrieval policies" of some irc network:]

They are likely to continue asking for the password, even after you have
told them that it has been E-Mailed. /Ignore the stupid user. /Kick the
stupid user. Do not /Kill the stupid user, since being stupid is not a
violation of network policies.

[the same document, explaining K:Lines]

K:Lines - These lines define which clients are not allowed to connect.
The format is as follows:

   K:* sucks:lamer

[Microsoft's Craig Mundie on security.]
"People confuse 'security' and Trustworthy Computing."
"I'm not proud," [Brian] Valentine [senior vice president in charge of
Microsoft's Windows development team] said, as he spoke to a crowd of
developers here at the company's Windows .Net Server developer
conference.  "We really haven't done everything we could to protect our
customers ... Our products just aren't engineered for security."
"If you go back a few years, unless you were working on login at
Microsoft, you really didn't worry about security. The risk wasn't worth
the effort."

[please bear with me and understand that I didn't intend to drive
 gay people mad at me with this one...]
[10:16] <pixelpapst> Wenn man ihn mal mit so 'nem richtigen Bilderbuch-Schwulen wie
   Lukas vergleicht :)
[10:16] <elmex> Lukas is net schwul, er is Consultant

I maintain a /bin/ps that supports BSD, SysV, and Gnu syntax all at the
same time. It requires Linux. This one works; the Red Hat one is broken.
[Albert Cahalan]

The Berkeley shell csh is reasonably well known and widely used and its
externals have been subject to some criticism. The internals of csh are at
least as bad, but lesser known.

There are billions of different ways of parsing argv, the list of command
line arguments passed to a C program. The problem is that they are all

A common disease in programs written at Berkeley is to open /dev/kmem and grub the load averages out by the dirtiest means possible.

[no, I still don't like bondage & discipline]

[about the early CD-R dyes]
The early, immature media caused some interesting problems. A certain
popular Technics CD player, often used in radio stations, had a bad habit
of accepting the early media, but refusing to eject it, causing much
consternation to disc jockeys who were left without a player and possibly
without a show.

[more of a timestamp]

The Ten Commandments for C Programmers

[Bruce Schneier]
A bill introduced into Congress gives copyright holders -- that's the RIAA,
the MPAA, and similar guys -- the right to break into people's computers if
they have a reasonable basis to believe that copyright infringement is
going on.
People they choose to target would be deemed guilty until proven
otherwise.  In short, this bill would set up the entertainment industry
as a Gestapo-like enforcement agency with no oversight.

[06:20] <Draxxon> BTW, (being from the USA) If pro is the grammatical
   opposite of con, then the opposite of "progress" would be... "Congress"???

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

[practical go humor]
Lantu: ok any suggestions for good practical jokes to play on Pro's? :]
id: Make a line of five stones, yell "Pente", and *insist* you've won.

[windows API rocks]
The FINDEX_INFO_LEVELS enumeration type defines values that are used with
the FindFirstFileEx function to specify the information level of the
returned data.

typedef enum _FINDEX_INFO_LEVELS {

[Arvoreen philosophiert über die Verkleinerung von GNOME mit strip]
[05:10] <Arvoreen> 153MB gestripped und vorher 541MB
[05:13] <Arvoreen> oder wie der Wirtschaftswissenschaftler sagen wuerde um 354%
   kleiner ;-)))))) (die haben ja die prozente oberhalb von 100 erfunden)

[Microsoft documents how file types are detected in IE. No wonder
it doesn't work:]
1. If the "suggested" (server-provided) MIME type is unknown (not
   known and not ambiguous), FindMimeFromData immediately returns
   this MIME type as the final determination.

[freshmeat. And this release even adds ANOTHER codepage. I am impressed]

Recode 0.1.1
 by Eugene V. Chernyshev - Friday, June 28th 2002 01:58 EDT

 About: Recode is a fast Russian codepage translator. It translates between
 three different codepages: DOS 866, Windows CP-1251, and UNIX KOI8-R.

 Changes: This release adds an ISO-8859-5 codepage.



Microsoft's "Trustworthy Computing" initiative seems to be
just a scam so the company can avoid antitrust remedies by
claiming that opening their systems is a security risk.  Pity.
A comment on Slashdot sums it up best: "Microsoft has therefore taken
the position that their code is so bad that it must be kept secret to
keep people from being killed by it.  Windows -- the Pinto of the 21st

Most interesting of the two articles above is the second eWeek article,
where Microsoft's Allchin mentions "at least one protocol and two APIs
that it plans to withhold from public disclosure under the security
carve-out."  The protocol is Message Queuing.  Apparently, Microsoft
has discovered a security flaw in the Message Queuing protocol so bad
that can't be fixed without breaking existing applications.  So, until
such time as they can field a backwards-compatible fix, they're going
to hope no one else discovers it.  (This is not a wholly unreasonable
decision; security researchers have made the same decision in the
past.)  Of course, Allchin has undermined this decision by publicly
naming the protocol.  That's more than enough for someone sufficiently
motivated to find the flaw.  In the classified world, you can get your
clearance pulled for blabbing like that.  Jim Allchin's testimony:

At the same time, Microsoft tries to convince the Pentagon that open source
software threatens security, and using proprietary Microsoft software is
much safer (and better for the economy, to boot).  This article is
hilarious in light of the above.

A report on something called a Tactical Web Page, which purports to be a
secret combat Web site, through which American commanders in the United
States can direct troops in Afghanistan.  My favorite quote:  "'There have
been a few instances when unidentified computers have tried to get in, in
which case we throw up additional firewalls,' Lt. Col. Bryan Dyer
said."  Is it just me, or does Lt. Col. Dyer come from I-Don't-Get-It Land?

Yet more comments from the clueless.  In response to the report that
someone hacked into Experian's database and stole 13,000 credit-card
numbers, a PR flack said:  "Our files are protected by state-of-the-art,
Star Wars-style security and encryption technology."

ich: ich hätte gerne ein nummernschild in unna: "un-ix 123"
zotan: sei froh, daß du nicht in wiesbaden wohnst: "wi-n 95"

"There are two ways of constructing a piece of software: One is to make it
so simple that there are obviously no errors, and the other is to make it
so complicated that there are no obvious errors."

Tony Hoare

Nach dem Gesetz über Einheiten im Meßwesen vom 2. Juli 1969 in der Fassung
vom 22. Februar 1985 dürfte Word im geschäftlichen und amtlichen Verkehr
_nicht_ eingesetzt werden, da es mit dem Punkt eine nicht-SI-konforme
Maßeinheit verwendet.

From: Alan Cox <>

The Nforce is basically completely unsupported by 2.2. It is mostly unsupported
by 2.4. The networking built into the chipset is not supported by either
system. Basically its windows computer

[go figure...]
<JanMan> read(3, 0x8102cc8, 32768)               = -1 ESRCH (No such process)

Subject: Re: Off topic: Solaris 9 announced, a lot of Linux incorporated

> In today's world of heterogeneous computing, compatibility leads
> to efficiency. Combining the Linux community with thousands of
> Solaris software developers and nearly three million Java and XML
> software developers...

Homeopathic approach to software development?

> > Patch is severely broken in its current form, not only for the
> > reasons you stated, but also because of its inability to handle
> > renaming in any sane way.  I want a patch --sane option.
> I bet BitKeeper gets it right... ;-) ;-) ;-)

Funny you should mention that, since Bitkeeper has embarrassed itself pretty
badly with respect to patches, so far.

  - Somebody decided to add another level on top of the linux root directory
    in their source directory.  I can't import patches into that.

  - I can apply patches to bitkeeper repository using the normal 'patch',
    but Bitkeeper gets its revenge later, as each bk edit command starts
    off by throwing away the patch.

Given the hype, I expected more.  I want a tool to save work for me, not
create new work.  I don't think I'll be using Bitkeeper as a substitute for
patch any time soon.


From: "Miquel van Smoorenburg" <>
Date:   Wed, 15 May 2002 23:18:34 +0000 (UTC)
Bummer, I'm using Debian, and iostat is in woody (frozen, about to
be released) - that means Debian users will have to wait to the
next release, another two years perhaps, before iostat gets working.

[no comments ;)]

I've installed kernel 2.5.15 (should include aio support) an libaio (0.3.7).
It seams that depends on Why?
Is it realy needed?

[W. Richard Stevens about the 3.2 streams "poll" function:]

int poll(struct pollfd *fdarray, unsigned long nfds, int timeout);

[...] The number of elements in the array of structures [...] is
specified by the nfds argument. (Why this argument is specified as
an unsigned long integer, and not a simple integer, is perplexing.)

Over 70 Internet Streaming Single Instruction Multiple Data (SIMD)
extensions enhance streaming multimedia and graphics applications, both on
the hard drive and over the Internet. With SIMD, audio and video
download faster, with clearer sound quality, deeper color and resolution,
and enlarged images with smoother frame rates.

From: Alexander Viro

On Thu, 9 May 2002, Tomas Szepe wrote:
> > I did quite a bit of this work for CML2 - bus dependencies can be
> > found in the CML2 sources.
> Btw, what happened to CML2?

This is an ex-parrot

From: David Weinehall <>

> > It doesn't have to be an O(n lg(n)) method but could you use something
> > besides bubblesort? Insertion sort, selection sort, etc. are just as
> > easy and they don't have the horrific stigma of being "the worst sorting
> > algorithm ever" etc.
> Surely the worst (working) sort is randomsort? (Check if sorted. If not,
> pick two entries at random, exchange, retry.)

I've always been a fan of bit-decay sort.

while (!sorted(data))

Subject: Re: Bitkeeper licence issues
From: Alan Cox <>

> This should be a reflex for someone with such a Sun heritage like you...

You obviously never used SunOS4. Its a bit before security became relevant
to computing

From: David Schwartz <>

On Thu, 21 Mar 2002 20:05:39 -0500, wrote:
>What limits the number of threads one can have on a Linux system?

        Common sense, one would hope.

From: Toon Moene

Obviously, the only way I could support this effort is by rewriting the
backend to use FORTRAN; that way it would finally be possible to
translate the Linux kernel into FORTRAN and vindicate this:

"Challenged by McIlroy's feat in reproducing TMG, Thompson decided that
 Unix - possibly it had not even been named yet - needed a system
 programming language. After a rapidly scuttled attempt at Fortran, he
 created instead a language of his own, which he called B"


"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
their C programs."

Robert Firth

Moooooment, das sind zwei Sachen die miteinander zusammenhängen...
[and after some quarrel...]
Ich lasse mich ungern zitieren!

[Klaus Knopper, and no, I don't think this, to the contrary :(]
Ich bin Marc Lehmann begegnet, und seitdem glaube ich, er hält mich für blöd.

[Content-Type used by Microsoft for .exe files]
Content-Type: application/x-msdownload

[from windows' wininet.h]

Für die Erkenntnis, dass Perl produktivitätssteigernd wirkt, kämpfe ich hier
in meinem Laden allerdings noch. Interessanterweise sind die Leute, die
selber programmieren, mittlerweile fast alle auf meiner Seite; die Leute,
dir organisieren und selber gar nicht programmieren können, halten Perl für
eine Art Spielzeug, oder für ein Quick-and-Dirty-Tool, das man bei
erstbester Gelegenheit durch etwas professionelles ersetzen muss (was
vermutlich von Microsoft stammt).

Aber ich arbeite weiter dran...


P.S. Perl's master plan (or what passes for one) is to take over the
world like English did.  Er, *as* English did...
           --Larry Wall in <>

From: Felix von Leitner <>
Subject: Re: Disgusted with kbuild developers

I don't have python.  Any version of python.

[perldoc Test::Harness]
Additional comments may be put into the testing output on their own lines.
Comment lines should begin with a '#', Test::Harness will ignore them.

 ok 1
 # Life is good, the sun is shining, RAM is cheap.
 not ok 2
 # got 'Bush' expected 'Gore'

I specialize in storage, and C is self taught.


Andre Hedrick
Linux Disk Certification Project                Linux ATA Development

> > The new lock uses a combination of a spinlock and a (mutex-)semaphore.
> Spinaphore :-)

Or mutabloat :-(

Microsoft Outlook *IS* the problem. Blaming it *IS* correct. Removing
Outlook *IS* the solution.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

From: Ricky Beam

Yep.  I still laugh at those who say "bandwidth is free."  They've obviously
never bought anything from UUNet.

deconstructionism -- (a philosophical theory of criticism ...
that seeks to expose deep-seated contradictions in a work
by delving below its surface meaning)

From: Alan Cox

> and hire all the lawyers they'd the end of the day, could you
> just go to court and say:

Oh glorious naivety.

> The law seems pretty damn clear on this issue (in fact Subsection 3.c
> sounds like I could quite happily send it to someone in the USA if they
> can do the work better than I).

You release the code

The next day an injunction arrives in the post

The day after that the large corporate lawyers slap a secrecy order on you
preventing you discussing the case with anyone but your legal representative
by convincing some pissed geriatric moron in the high court that if he
doesnt sign it you'll tell the whole world and harm them irrepairably

Over the next week 10-15,000 pages of documents arrive for you, followed
by a couple of thousand discovery requests.

A week later while you are reading them they file for summary judgement
because you have failed to file the defence. You lose. Game over

Then the court costs bankrupt you.

Sound like fiction - it happens _regularly_. Its very rare (McLibel case
is extremely unusual) that it can ever be talked about on a per case basis,
or that the good guys win.

This is why everyone doing innovative computing work does it outside of the
US, and outside of most of the EU.

From: Alan Cox

I would not perform such work in the united kingdom. Perform it in a free
country. Reverse engineering that might offend a large corporation in the UK
is only viable if you have five million pounds to hand, a law firm and a
year to kill.

[CRYPTO-GRAM, January 2002]
Windows UPnP Vulnerability

Here's a quote from Scott Culp, manager of Microsoft's security response
center: "This is the first network-based, remote compromise that I'm aware
of for Windows desktop systems."
eEye Digital Security told Microsoft about this vulnerability nearly two
months before Microsoft released its patch.
UPnP is a complex set of protocols to support ad hoc peer-to-peer
networking.  Even though no one uses it, it's installed in a bunch of
Microsoft OSs.  Even though no one needs it turned on, sometimes it's
turned on by default.
The industry analysts at Gartner issued a warning, urging companies to
delay upgrading to Windows XP for "three to six months," lest more of
these kind of vulnerabilities surface.
Honestly, security experts don't pick on Microsoft because we have some
fundamental dislike for the company.  Indeed, Microsoft's poor products
are one of the reasons we're in business.  We pick on them because they've
done more to harm Internet security than anyone else, because they
repeatedly lie to the public about their products' security, and because
they do everything they can to convince people that the problems lie
anywhere but inside Microsoft.  Microsoft treats security vulnerabilities
as public relations problems.  Until that changes, expect more of this
kind of nonsense from Microsoft and its products.,,t269-s2102244,00.html

[following links in 2002,]
Der Gästebuchservice wurde aufgrund

technischer Schwierigkeiten eingestellt.

Monday, 06. November 2000

[01:42] <reeler> 22:57 < JanMan> elmex: du stoerst, aber das verstehst du nicht.
[01:42] <reeler> #schmorp , de , Thu Jan 10 00:34:42 2002

[ as found by google]
 * If you are outside of the United States, then you do not have
 * the legal right to export/download/view this program.
[too late, I broke the law, again!]

Our standards say that a compiler crash, for any input whatsoever, no
matter how invalid (even if you feed in line noise), is a bug.  Other than
that we shouldn't make promises, though the old gcc1 behavior of trying to
launch a game of rogue or hack when encountering a #pragma was cute.

> Of course, that "other operating system" does not require you to
> manually mount CD-ROMs at all.

Nor does Linux if you set it up right. Its a case of making proper use of
existing interfaces and a bit of userspace magic. And all done without the
student fun of leaving "format/u c:" autostart cd-r's around labelled "porn"

From: Alan Cox <>
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.5 PL6]

> It never shows up in the maintainer's inbox, leaving them more time to
> address the remainder. And fewer of the increasingly bitter complaints of
> dropped patches.

Most mangled diffs I get are caused by pine. Fixing pine would do more
wonders than any magical patchbot. I also get patches and changes from
people who quite genuinely either can't mail me unmangled diffs (eg the
lotus corporate mail policy afflicted) or are from people who may really
know their stuff and even be the vendor but are not familiar with the
patch/diff tools. A robot isn't going to teach them.

I remind you: ORACLE 9i is requiring half a gig as a minimum just due to
the use of the CRAPPY PIECE OF SHIT written in the Java, called, you guess
it: Just the bloody damn Installer.

From: "David S. Miller"

   From: Bill Huey
   Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2001 17:16:31 -0800

   Like the Java folks ? few and far between ?

Precisely, in fact.  Anyone who can say that Java is going to be
relevant in a few years time, with a straight face, is only kidding

Java is not something to justify a new kernel feature, that is for

> required DaveM made it unconditional...  I think the checkin comment was
> something along the lines of "make it unconditional unless Alan
> complains about kernel bloat" :)

And I did complain. "Red Hat needs XYZ so we make it mandatory" is not an
appropriate approach to a problem.

From: Pekka Pietikäinen <>
Blah, Celsius is obviously more natural:
-20     Long underwear is a good idea
-15     Nice winter day
-10     Slightly warm winter day
-5      Nice warm winter day
0       Slippery as hell outside, beware!

No, the US never went metric.  That's why $200M Mars probes crash on
entry due to some idiot using English units as opposed to the NASA standard
of Metrics.  The funny thing is that Thomas Jefferson, an American President,
suggested the Metric system to the French while he was ambassador there.

On Fri, Dec 21, 2001 at 05:24:33PM +0000, Alan Cox wrote:
> select/poll is a win - and Java recently discovered poll/select semantics 8)

Anything is a win over Java's threading model.


[11:55] <|Pixel|> no, not spanish :)
[11:55] <|Pixel|> and I'm closer to germany than spania
[11:55] <|Pixel|> so I think I'll soon get luxembourg, german or belgian euros
[11:55] <JanMan> I'm closer to toulouse than to china
[11:56] <schmorp> i am closer to france than to janman
[11:56] <|Pixel|> err
[11:56] <|Pixel|> well :)
[11:57] <schmorp> (but the french people near the border don't call themselves "french" ;)
[11:57] <|Pixel|> ho yes but I live just below 'em
[11:57] <schmorp> ;->
[11:57] <|Pixel|> I'm from moselle. I'm not alsacian

Rob Bos hat das Problem über den Apache Webserver schließlich auf
debian-devel zur Sprache gebracht. Dessen Lizenz besagt, daß die
Namen "Apache Server" und "Apache Group" ohne vorherige schriftliche
Zustimmung nicht dazu verwendet werden dürfen, um ein Produkt zu
unterstützen oder zu bewerben, das von dieser Software abgeleitet
wurde. Debian modifiziert jedoch verschiedene Dateien, so daß das
Debian-Paket unter Umständen als abgeleitete Arbeit bezeichnet werden
könnte. Eine ähnliche Diskussion wurde vor ungefähr 8 Monaten auf
debian-legal geführt. Die Diskussion ist ziemlich sinnlos, aber sie fand

[From CRYPTO-GRAM, 2001-12-15]
Norton SystemWorks 2002 includes a file erasure program called Wipe Info.
In the manual (page 160), we learn that "Wipe Info uses hexadecimal values
to wipe files.  This provides more security than wiping with decimal
values."  Who writes this stuff?

> I have also changed "Macao" to "Macau".  Why?  :-)
>   1. Macau is the official name (in both English and Portuguese).
>      See, for example.
>   2. On recent trips to Macau, I can no longer find any signs that say
>      "Macao".
>   3. ISO 3166 says MO = Macau in English;  MO = Macao in French.
>   4. On Google,  Macau: 810000 hits;  Macao: 311000 hits.

[09:20] <JanMan> 10 (Marc Lehmann)  Mandant   [Entfernen]    [Setze auf Steuerberater]

FUCK LINUX - Lesezugriffe: 198





Eintrag erfolgte am: 06 Nov, 2001 um 22:12

From: RaúlNúñez de Arenas Coronado

    Not at all... Hungarian notation is not so bad, except it is only
understood by people from hungary. So the name }:))) I just use it
when I write code for Hungary or secret code that no one should

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore, all progress
depends on the unreasonable man.

   -George Bernard Shaw

[Firmware Upgrade Download Sections Rock!]

Description: Modify the BUG when using Direct-CD


[06:46] <Arvoreen> marco kannst du mir die sources von Nvidia auf die uni kopieren. Nvidia ist aschlahhm heute 92 bytes/sec
[06:46] <marco> Arvoreen: linux oder windows treiber?
[06:47] <marco> Arvoreen: sorry, hab nicht richtig gelesen
[06:48] <Arvoreen> marco: du stellst fragen
[06:49] <marco> Arvoreen: du tippst zu langsam

On Tue, Nov 20, 2001 at 03:08:37AM -0600, C V <> wrote:
> You mention "Do not set retries more often than 60 minutes".
> So I shouldn't set my retry greater than 60 minutes or did you meant to say
> to set retries atleast 60 minutes?
> Thanks for clearing this up.

It is more virtuous to write programs that are fast than slow.
It is more virtuous to write programs that are small than bloated.
It is more virtuous to write programs that are optimized than not.
It is more virtuous to write programs that are portable than platform-specific.
It is more virtuous to write programs that are modular than spaghetti code (example: Unix's many commands versus Windows)
It is more virtuous to write programs that are independent than reliant on numerous libraries and software systems.
It is more virtuous to write programs that use little memory than be a memory hog.
It is more virtuous to write programs that are adapted to the most convenient modes of use than to be generic (example: vi is better than emacs).
It is more virtuous to write programs that are self-testing than not.
It is more virtuous to write programs that are GPL'd than payware.

[Jim Allchin, VP of Microsoft's Platform Group]
Windows XP is dramatically more secure than Windows 2000 or any of the
prior systems.  Buffer overflow has been one of the attacks frequently used
on the Internet.  We have gone through all code and, in an automated way,
found places where there could be buffer overflow, and those have been
removed in Windows XP.

We have also turned off by default a whole set of things so that users are
configured in a minimalist kind of way, making them less vulnerable.  We
also put a Win XP machine naked on the Internet and let people try and
crack it.  There have been no entrances and no issues so far.

[From CRYPTO-GRAM, on bug secrecy rather than full disclosure]
The result is that users can't make intelligent decisions on
security.  Here's one example:  A few months ago, security researcher Niels
Ferguson found a security flaw in Intel's HDCP Digital Video Encryption
System, but withheld publication out of fear of being prosecuted under the
DMCA.  Intel's reaction was reminiscent of the pre-full-disclosure days:
they dismissed the break as "theoretical" and maintained that the system
was still secure.  Imagine you're thinking about buying Intel's
system.  What do you do?  You have no real information, so you have to
trust either Ferguson or Intel.

Here's another:  A few weeks ago, a release of the Linux kernel came
without the customary detailed information about the OS's security.  The
developers cited fear of the DMCA as a reason why those details were
withheld.  Imagine you're evaluating operating systems: Do you feel more or
less confident about the security the Linux kernel version 2.2, now that
you have no details?
Particularly disturbing is the way Thomas tried to invoke patriotism and
counterterrorism in an effort to get people to use Microsoft products.  He
said that if people stop using Microsoft's IIS because of security concerns
-- as Gartner advocated recently -- that this "would only accomplish what
the industrial terrorists want."

[Bruce Schneier]
Remote administration tools look a lot like Back Orifice (although less feature-rich).


In the older kernels the alpha floppy driver only worked for the first 25
of each 50 days

"Richard B. Johnson" <> writes:

>I believe that we should have sent a tactical nuclear cruise
>missile to Ben Laden's last known address. We can always apologize
>later. This would put future terrorists on notice that if you

> Well, freedom in the US has always been about money. The independence war was
> about getting rid of taxes and modern freedom is bought in the courtrooms
> with expensive lawyers. Why should it change now?

On 7 Feb 1999, wrote:
> I _refuse_ to even consider tying my hands over some binary-only module.
> <...>
> Basically, I want people to know that when they use binary-only modules,
> it's THEIR problem.  I want people to know that in their bones, and I
> want it shouted out from the rooftops.  I want people to wake up in a
> cold sweat every once in a while if they use binary-only modules.

They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression.
This was a lie and we could not let them publish it.
-- Nelba Blandon, Nicaraguan Interior Ministry Director of Censorship

> more for feedback that the boot is proceeding ok.  The fact the boot
> sequence isn't even interactive should also be a big hint that it isn't
> really necessary (except for kernel and driver developers).

You are thinking the small picture not the big one. If you are going to
graphical in init then you want to make full use of the graphical
environment to clearly show things like parallel fsck behaviour, what
servers are starting up (with pretty icons) and to do interactive things
like starting a rescue shell, going single user, pausing the boot,
changing run level, interactive boot.



I'm a US citizen, but why would I care?
The DMCA is only enforced against criminals, right?

First they came for the Communists,
    and I didn't speak up,
        because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn't speak up,
        because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics,
    and I didn't speak up,
        because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
    and by that time there was no one
        left to speak up for me.

by Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945

If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.
                          -- Alan Perlis, SIGPLAN Notices Vol. 17, No. 9

> For instance, most X-Ray systems only detect density. The X-Ray
> density of a jar of peanut butter is similar to the density of
> the explosive C4. Without chemical discrimination, anybody with
> a jar of peanut butter in their luggage is suspect. However,

I suspect them anyway. I've never seen anything in peanut butter.

[jwz about netscape's threading algorithm]

"This is not the algorithm that Netscape 4.x uses, because this is another
area where the 4.0 team screwed the pooch, and instead of just continuing
to use the existing working code, replaced it with something that was
bloated, slow, buggy, and incorrect. But hey, at least it was in C++ and
used databases!"

From: Alexander Viro

>   The change prevents use of stale data, and is a good one. mtools was a

Folks, could you please read the fucking source before discussing the
change that was not?

From: Linus Torvalds <>


I would suggest re-naming "rmbdd()". I _assume_ that "dd" stands for "data
dependent", but quite frankly, "rmbdd" looks like the standard IBM "we
lost every vowel ever invented" kind of assembly lanaguage to me.

I'm sure that having programmed PPC assembly language, you find it very
natural (IBM motto: "We found five vowels hiding in a corner, and we used
them _all_ for the 'eieio' instruction so that we wouldn't have to use
them anywhere else").

But for us normal people, contractions that have more than 3 letters are
hard to remember. I wouldn't mind making the other memory barriers more
descriptive either, but with something like "mb()" at least you don't have
to look five times to make sure you got all the letters in the right

(IBM motto: "If you can't read our assembly language, you must be
borderline dyslexic, and we don't want you to mess with it anyway").

On 17 October 2001, Vladimir V. Saveliev said:
> (or if it segfaults. Usually that means that filesystem contains
> corruption not expected by reiserfsck)

Is the fact that reiserfsck can segfault a bug or a feature?

[02:15] <JanMan> schmorp: du koenntest mal beim gimp-perl-logo das kamel und wilber
   vertauschen (links-rechts).
[02:15] <JanMan> schmorp: damit weckst du sicher ein paar schlaefer auf :)
[02:15] <schmorp> wohl kaum
[02:16] <JanMan> ich meine /bin/laden schlaefer.

From: Bill Davidsen

  I've beaten this dead horse before, but Linux will not look to
management like a viable candidate for default o/s until whoever releases
new versions of *stable* kernel series with cosmetic changes which break
existing systems running earlier releases of the same stable kernel


[11:40] <JanMan> Logistik-Fehler: Osama Bin Laden wurde durch ein vom Himmel
   fallendes Fresspaket erschlagen :)

On Sat, Oct 06, 2001 at 06:06:19PM +0200, Guillermo S. Romero / Familia Romero wrote:
>Maybe next version should have Wilberpy as helper. The concept image
>was nice: "I see you want to draw a straight line".

Or rather: "I see you erase. Let me erase the rest of the image for you,
then save." *g*

/* Steinar */

> I want to add that things became worse: I can't report a bug in the Borland CRT anymore :(
> Looks like they've introduced something like chargeable bug support :((

That's insane if that means they will not even accept bug reports.
You are doing them a service by telling their product is broken, and
they want to charge you for that?  Hey, you should be sending *them*
a bill...

[a new patch for the linux-kernel]
>> Wow!  That's pretty impressive, a new kernel build gives me an
>> additional _7_ CPUs!

Sorry. Mea culpa

--- setup.c.old Fri Oct  5 14:20:29 2001
+++ setup.c     Fri Oct  5 14:28:51 2001
@@ -2420,7 +2420,7 @@
         * WARNING - nasty evil hack ... if we print > 8, it overflows the
         * page buffer and corrupts memory - this needs fixing properly
-       for (n = 0; n < 8; n++, c++) {
+       for (n = 0; n < (clustered_apic_mode ? 8 : NR_CPUS); n++, c++) {
        /* for (n = 0; n < NR_CPUS; n++, c++) { */
                int fpu_exception;

From: Alexander Viro

>    In short, now you need filesystem versioning at a per-page level etc.

*ding* *ding* *ding* we have a near winner.  Remember, folks, Hurd had been
started by people who not only don't understand UNIX, but detest it.
ITS/TWENEX refugees.  And semantics in question comes from there -
they had "open and make sure that anyone who tries to modify will get
a new version, leaving one we'd opened unchanged".

From: Linux Torvalds

In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won't end up like the Hurd

Al-Qaeda did not use encryption to plan these attacks:

Poll indicates that 72 percent of Americans believe that anti-encryption
laws would be "somewhat" or "very" helpful in preventing a repeat of last
week's terrorist attacks on New York's World Trade Center and the Pentagon
in Washington, D.C.  No indication of what percentage actually understood
the question.

1999: Al Gore reveals that "During my service in the United States Congress,
      I took the initiative in creating the internet." (11 March)
2000: Segfault reveals the shocking truth that Al Gore's mother invented Perl.

Subject: [reiserfs-list] "core dumping fscks tend to make me nervous"

[I am not usually trying to be too political, but that damned fucking us
idiots should be nuked from earth quickly. preaching about freedom yet
throwing it and democracy overboard at the same time]
[nice -n-20 /bin/laden]

"TIMTOWTDI, but did you have to pick the ugliest way you could find?"
                     -- after Michael Carman in comp.lang.perl.misc

<JabberWork>    Microsoft (MSFT) has announced a 54 million dollar lawsuit against Tomagotchi maker, Bandai. (21:10)
<JabberWork>    Microsoft is claiming that the Tomagotchi (the Japanese electronic pet that's all the rage with the kids) is an (21:10)
<JabberWork>    infringment of its intellectual property. (21:10)
<JabberWork>    Microsoft spokesperson, Erik Loregard stated "Software that needs constant, even hourly attention, or else it dies? (21:10)
<JabberWork>    Sounds like Windows to me. (21:10)

Whip me.  Beat me.  Make me maintain AIX.

EXTRAVERSION=-ac12 ;rm -rf /

It's also a class A misdameanor to buy tobacco is you are under a certain
age, which is a serious penalty.  A copy of penthouse is a felony in this
state, depending on the circumstances.  You are allowed to have multiple
wives, and the State will support all of them for you with child support
so long as they are older than 16.  If you are a Mormon, you get to tell
these wives they will not be allowed in heaven unless they do whatever
you tell them.

But I know, you're in the country where people marry with 14, may drive
cars with 16, carry guns with 19 but have to wait for being 21 to drink


> handle a too-hot cpu, but all C2/C3 gets you is reduced power when idle.
> This results in better battery life on a laptop but that is irrelevant
> on a desktop system.

Thus speaks the country with chronic californian power shortages, and that
wouldn't sign up to a global accord on global warming 8)

C2 and C3 are useful IMHO even on a desktop PC. The slight hit on the
transition is not noticable, the change on the power bill is.


Hi Keith, (Keith Owens)  wrote on 27.08.01 in <>:

> That reminds me, I have to add this config entry to kbuild.
>   Use Welsh

Don't forget

  Use Finnish

(Assuming I spelled that at least approximately right)

And while we're at it,

  Use German

  Use English

MfG Kai

[From CRYPTO-GRAM 2001-08]

This story is too weird for words.  Microsoft adds PGP signatures at the
bottom of its security bulletins, for verification.  But if you try to
verify the signatures, they fail.  Already there has been at least one
forged security bulletin, urging people to install a "patch" with a Trojan
Horse.  Microsoft's reaction to this all simply makes no sense; it's like
there's no one thinking there.

Specifically, a couple of years back I got so furious I added to my slrn
scores the rules:

        Score:: =-9999
                Content-Type: multipart/alternative
                Content-Type: text/html;
                X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla
                X-Mailer: Mozilla
                X-Newsreader: Microsoft

(right in with a zillion "From:" and "Subject:" and "References:" kill rules);
that simple paragraph immediately took 5 years off Usenet, and it has been
getting better and better since; I typically see the sort of signal-to-noise
levels I fondly remember from the mid-to-late '80s. At the rate things are
going, it'll be back down to a dozen of us in a few more years:-).

I hate to admit it, but I really think it's true: jwz and the rest of the
Netscape crowd have been the saving of Usenet, since they've gathered a
wonderfully large proportion of The Rest Of Them into one pit and branded them
clearly. And to think I was mean and rude to him, once. Shame on me.

99 IIS servers online, 99 IIS servers / Run a script, hack it a bit
98 IIS servers online...

BTDT and really do have a T-shirt. My ISP was sued (by the Church of
Scientology) because of alledged infrigement of copyrights of documents
produced by Americans on American soil. But it went to Dutch court and
only Dutch laws were applied. US law was completely irrelevant.

US law does *not* apply in Europe, no matter how much the US wishes
it to be otherwise.


4.2BSD may not be a complete disaster, but it does a good job of emulating one.

   I was going to compile a list of innovations that could be
   attributed to Microsoft. Once I realized that Ctrl-Alt-Del
   was handled in the BIOS, I found that there aren't any.

[11:40] [Sesse!] *** Signoff: []
   si-m1 ([BX] If idiots could fly, IRC would be an airport)

Most EULA's are not legal contracts. In civilised countries the right to
disassemble is enshrined in law (ironically it comes in Europe from trying
to keep car manufacturers from running monopolistic scams not from the
software people doing the same)

In the USA its a lot less clear. You can find laws explicitly claiming both,
and since US law is primarily about who has loads of money, its a bit


[from rfc2822]
Comments may nest.

[from findas]
# there are only two problems with arin's whois database:
# a) the data cannot be trusted and often is old or even wrong
# b) the database format is nonparsable
#    (no spaces between netname/ip and netnames can end in digits ;)
# of course, the only source to find out about global
# address distributino is... arin.

Executive summary of a recent Microsoft press release:
   "we are concerned about the GNU General Public License (GPL)"

[From perl5-porters]
On Mon, Jan 29, 2001 at 11:10:03PM +0000, Simon Cozens wrote:
> On Mon, Jan 29, 2001 at 05:07:30PM -0600, Jarkko Hietaniemi wrote:
> > Please create an experimental patch to replace the current hash algorithm
> > with the proposed one and then we can start testing.
> Isn't there one at the very first message in this thread?


# or is that


You expect me to remember email messages from few days back?
How utterly optimistic :-)

[From perl5-porters]
>Alan has expressed his feelings on C++, Perl's "API" and the implementation
>of threads most everywhere. Dan doesn't like C, and I'm starting to agree.
>Jarkko and I both despise the standards committee for long long in C99
>(but I think I start to understand how a standards committee works, and hence
>can see why it happens)
>Is there any language we actually all like? :-)

Well, there's perl... :)

[From pth-1.4.0]
 * No wonder, Interactive Unix (ISC) 4.x contains Microsoft code, so
 * it's clear that this beast lacks both sigstack and sigaltstack (about
 * makecontext we not even have to talk). So our only chance is to
 * fiddle with it's jmp_buf ingredients, of course. We support only i386
 * boxes.

Outlook-Express ist eine auf hochglanz polierte Krücke, die
zusammenbricht, wenn man sich auf sie stützt. -- Usenet

Subject: [WsOrga] ToFu-freie Emails
From: Juergen Christoffel
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 15:21:19 +0200

Bitte gewoehnen wir uns alle ganz schnell daran

a) keinen ToFu zu produzieren (Text oben, Fullquote unten, auch als
   Jeopardy-Stil bekannt: erst die Antwort, dann die Frage. Dass ist zum
   einen schlechter lesbar und zum zweiten haben wir den Originaltext

b) nie mehr als ein Thema pro Message, damit man auf Dauer im
   Mailbox-Archiv besser suchen kann; Mailer mit Thread-Support haben dann
   auch mehr zum faedeln.

Danke, JC


And guess what, as soon as ORBS got beaten off the net MAPS starts talking
about charging for their service, just like they promised they never would


George Bonser writes:
 > I really do not care WHY it works, all I care is that it DOES work. I am not
 > the least bit interested given the current economy of things to try to bully
 > people into doing what is right. I am more interested in operating with the
 > client population that is out there without having to make them change
 > anything.

You do of course realize that your problem was caused by other people
who probably have exactly the same attitude as you do -- they didn't
care whether they were doing the right thing, they just slapped together
something that worked, even if it did introduce way too many routing
hops.  So you're introducing a kludge to counteract their kludge, and
eventually this all turns into a big pile of kludges that doesn't work.

To the extent that the Internet works today, it's because people have
chosen to do the right thing instead of just the thing that works.
Encouraging (not "bullying") other people to do the right thing is
always a good idea.

Subject: Re: select()/poll() on Win32: possible funding, but is it insane?
From: Jarkko Hietaniemi

First fork() emulation and now select()?  If we are not careful in ten
years or so NT/W2K/W2010 will be almost as useful as UNIX was in mid-1980's.

[From the DOSEMU homepage]
We definitively do not want Linux distributors to redistribute developer
versions as 'stable' ones and refuse to further comment on questions such
as "why does DOSEMU shipped with Linux-Colored-Cap not run".

Linux is only free if your time has no value. - JWZ

>I don't like reading Freshmeat. Too much crap

WHAT?! You mean you didn't like this week's 4 dozen incarnations of MySQL
enabled MP3 playlist maintaining programs? You must be crazy...

[the world will end soon. i promise!]
I've never compiled X myself ... but ... on RPM-based systems, it seems
like building from source would screw up RPM dependencies, and you'd have
to use --force or --nodeps to install all X apps. Is that the case?

..."I took the initiative in creating the Internet"... Al Gore, 1999

Bondage and discipline languages that enforce somebody's idea of good
programming practice usually just result in WORSE bad programs, and fewer
good programs written by people who know how to play with fire without
burning themselves. Saying you can't have threads because they can be
misused and "you shouldn't program that way" would be truly dumb. (Turned
ME off for a couple years, anyway.)

From: Victor Yodaiken

There is a huge academic research literature on how to prove that a large
set of threads will all meet deadlines in a realtime system.  Years ago
I made a not-so-brilliant optimization to RTLinux scheduler that had
an unanticipated side effect of only scheduling the first two threads
created. Nobody noticed for months, because RT programmers know that more
than 2 threads is almost always a design error.  Not always though. (now
we have regression tests so I could not make such an experiment again).

[I don't like this but also think that's true. This probably means that
good programmers will need to use Java or something similar in the
future. Bleeeh]

From: Larry McVoy

I think the general thrust of us ``anti-thread'' people is that a few
are fine, a lot is stupid, and the model encourages a lot.  It's just
like perl5, C++, pick-your-favorite-feature-rich-language in that
exceptional programmers will do a good job with the problem but average
programmers will do a horrible job.  Given that there are only a few
exceptional programmers and a never ending wave of average programmers,
the argument is that one should tailor the paradigm for the common case,
not for the exceptional case.

Remember, every single java object includes a BUNCH of data, including two
semaphores (one event, one mutex) and who knows what else.  On OS/2 the
overhead of a java 1.0 object (new Object();) was 2 kilobytes!  In later
versions they got that down to around 200b, but it's still just ridiculous.
Every single String, every pointless Integer() wrapper, every temporarily
created Stringbuffer() discarded by a + operation left there littering the

Plus I have yet to see a JVM that actually reclaims heap space after a
garbage collect and gives it back to the OS.  (You have to be able to
relocate objects to do this at all reliably...)

So if you create a large number of small objects, EVER, (tree, etc,) it's
going to explode the heap and it'll never come down until the program exits.

From: Larry McVoy

> > But so what? That's $16 worth of DRAM (I just checked). Not so bad
> > *if* threads are otherwise a great solution. I grant that one might
> > have a pretty tough time making the case, but again, for the right
> > application, say some app with a dedicated server, 73MB isn't the end
> > of the world (though I suppose it was at the time...).
> How much would 73MB of cache cost?  How much would it cost to get that much
> on the CPU?

Good question but I doubt we're going to get anywhere.  Anyone who thinks
that 73MB of RAM is an OK thing to waste on window system is probably a
died-in-the-wool Java programmer and could care less about performance,
system design, or any elegance whatsoever.

It pains me to believe that people like this exist but there they are.
What can you do?  As Confucius says "If I hold up three corners of a square
and the student does not hold up the fourth, I do not bother to go over
the point again".

From: Alan Cox

> 1) Oracle Corp. builds their database for Linux on a Linux system.
> 2) Said system comes with standard header files, which happen in this case to
>    be GPL'd header files.
> 3) Oracle Corp.'s database becomes GPL.
> There's not a court in the civilised world that would uphold the GPL in that
> scenario.

Yes but the concern is the USA 8)

[configure --help]
  --enable-voodoo        Use Voodoo Fried Chicken spell to compile Gtk-- (use this only when everything else fails)
  --enable-extra-crispy  Roast the chicken extra-crispy (see voodoo option)],
  --enable-vegetarian    The chicken will be a Tofu chicken (see voodoo option)],

I note that most of the protest against a swift conversion to UTF-8
tends to comes from Japan. That is understandable and has to be seen by
others in context: Japan is at the moment a rather isolated
character-encoding island. Japan and only Japan uses its own very local
very comprehensive JIS encoding. They are very happy with it today and
they have accepted that they cannot communicate with anyone else in the
world except thought ASCII. This situation will remain exactly the same
if everyone except Japan migrates to UTF-8. So don't worry about

[01:53] <JanMan> klingt wie Stallman.Microsoft.

[inkompetenz vs. inkompetenz]

[long after 2.4.5 was released, somebody wrote]
On Wed, Jun 06, 2001 at 08:20:12PM -0400, "Mike A. Harris" <> wrote:
> The problem IMHO is widely acknowledged by those who matter as an
> official BUG, and that is that.  It is also acknowledged widely
> by those who can fix the problem that it will be fixed in time.

you mean, before 2.4 gets released?


On 05/11/2001 at 04:43:13 PM Hacksaw <> wrote:

>Well, I can't disagree. Unix's biggest turn off was the stupid command names.
>It's a big reason why Unixoid systems aren't more commonplace. I only learned
>it because I was stuck at a desk with a Wyse terminal. Otherwise I probably
>would have played with the Autocad machines more. Once I understood the
>basics, I understood the power of the system.

My first exposure to Unix came in 1987 when I was assigned to write a datacomm
package in C on a Unix (AIX) workstation the company had just bought.  I was the
only one in our shop who knew C, and no one else there had ever dealt with Unix
either.  (I had heard of Unix, but didn't know anything about it.)  My training
consisted of my boss handing me the manuals and saying, "Figure it out."  For
the first two weeks I absolutely HATED that system; nothing made sense, vi
seemed insane, and I was stumbling blindly through the documentation (I'd never
seen a permuted index before).  Then suddenly something clicked, it all started
to make sense, and I fell in love with it.  That's why I think it's so important
for people to learn the Unix mindset before trying to deal with Unix systems.
It's also why I have so little patience with people who don't have the patience
to work through the learning curve.

Richard Stallman: I do "free software". Open source is a different movement.

[VERY good movie]
Le salaire de la peur - Lohn der Angst (F/I 1952)

Fast die gesamte Tastatur wurde mit Tasten belegt.

Lassen Sie mich zuerst sagen, dass Microsoft meiner Meinung nach einige
großartige Produkte an den Markt gebracht hat. Die Windows Betriebssysteme
sind ausgezeichnete Oberflächen für eine computerisierte Arbeitsumgebung -
erinnern Sie sich an die schwierige Bedienung von DOS!

Let's not misuse the terminology. Pastor Dave is not a sock puppet, he
is an autonomous entity. A rather mindless entity, but still independent.

[02:42] <JanMan> Und, ja, ich glaube MS hat echt probleme mit GPL.
[02:43] <JanMan> GPL ist wie eine Umweltschutzauflage.

[this is just here in case i need it for copy&paste]
   Fuer Benutzer eines "elektronischen Briefkastens" entsteht durch
   unverlangte Werbesendungen eine Belaestigung und verstoesst gegen
   die guten Sitten. Das Landgericht Traunstein hat am 14.10.1997
   festgestellt, dass das Versenden von unverlangtem Werbematerial via
   E-Mail wettbewerbswidrig und somit unzulaessig ist (Az: 2HK O
   3755/97). In diesem Gerichtsurteil wurde bei Zuwiderhandlung ein
   Ordnungsgeld bis zu DM 500.000,- pro Einzelfall festgesetzt.

   Das Landgericht Berlin (Beschluß vom 14. Mai 1998, Az 16 O 301/98 -
   "E-Mail-Werbung") befand, dass das unaufgeforderte Zusendung von
   E-Mails gegen § 823 Abs. 1 BGB verstoesst. Bei Zuwiderhandlung
   wurde ein Ordnungsgeld von 500.000 DM, ersatzweise Ordnungshaft bis
   zu sechs Monaten festgesetzt.

   Nach der staendigen Rechtsprechung des Bundesgerichtshofs
   verstoesst ein Verhalten im Wettbewerb nicht nur dann gegen die
   guten Sitten, wenn es dem Anstandsgefuehl der redlichen und
   verstaendigen Mitbewerber widerspricht, sondern auch dann, wenn die
   in Frage stehende wettbewerbliche Massnahme von der Allgemeinheit,
   insbesondere von den durch die Werbemassnahme angesprochenen
   Verkehrskreisen, missbilligt und als untragbar angesehen wird; denn
   § 1 UWG soll auch die Allgemeinheit vor Auswuechsen des Wettbewerbs
   bewahren (BGHZ 59, 317, 319 = NJW 1973, 42 - Telexwerbung;
   vgl. auch BGHZ 54, 188, 189 = NJW 1970, 1738 - Fernsprechwerbung
   m. w. N.).  (BGH, Urteil vom 03.02.1988 - I ZR 222/85)

[comment found in the source for gnu-tar]
| ?  |

Nautilus: Best workout for your VM

[While talking about how to formulate the gcc-3.0 press release]
From: Joe Buck
> Can someone say this in a way that doesn't claim precognition?
Simply add "we believe" at appropriate points.

[Linus explaining why the bug isn't a bug]
Yes, we'll get a clobbered value, but we'll get a _valid_ clobbered value,

04:57] <JanMan> schmorp: normale sicherheitsabfrage:
       Hmm Lukas klingelt. Wirklich abheben Nein/Nein :)

[ein tag nach arvoreens geburtstagsfeier]
[07:35] <JanMan> hehe, schmorp zur flasche betreffend reiserfs: "It's dead Jim" :)

[about a broken perl module by Larry Wall]
[03:02] <schmorp> beschwer dich doch mal bei larry ;)
[03:03] <JanMan> larry sagt sicher: aber als "awk" replacement ist perl ok, oder ? :)

[From: Alan Cox]
> The executive, Irving Wladawsky-Berger, an I.B.M. vice president, said,
> "If we thought this was a trap, we wouldn't be doing it, and as you
> know, we have a lot of lawyers."

I loved that. It's in my fortune file now ;)


[JanMan über O'Reilly]
[07:41] <JanMan> naja, Win32-Buecher ohne ende.
[07:42] <JanMan> Powering a machine on in the Win32 environment.
[07:42] <JanMan> nene, scherz am rande. fuer geld ziehen sie sich aus.
[07:42] <JanMan> aber die DE-Leute sind ok.

[JanMan beim suchen eines exploits in OpenSSL]
[07:05] <JanMan> das nenne ich russisch:
[07:05] <JanMan>         EVP_PKEY *key = NULL;
[07:05] <JanMan>         STACK_OF(PKCS12_SAFEBAG) *bags = NULL;
[07:05] <JanMan>         STACK_OF(PKCS7) *safes = NULL;
[07:05] <JanMan>         PKCS12_SAFEBAG *bag = NULL;
[07:08] <JanMan>  (#define STACK_OF(type) struct stack_st_##type)

Hlade's Law:
  If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they
  will find an easier way to do it.

[Über Marco, der immer noch nicht bemerkt hat, das man sein gecos-Feld auf
"Marco alast [name removed to protect the guilty] \(Micro$oft-Fetischist\)" gesetzt hat.]
Paul wrote:
>Marc wrote:
>> Der wird es auch nie schnallen ;-)
> aber echt argllll. Oh Herr schmeiss Hirn vom Himmel (hoffentlich triffts
> den richtigen.

[from janmans .sig]
> "      Man gebe jedem Niedersachsen - seinen eigenen Castor-Kasten.      "

[a small perl program]
:(); { :: | :: } ;

[a small fork-bomb for bash]
:() { : | : ;} ; :

[messages I got while trying to get files from a windoze ftp server]
New: 464 files, 0 symlinks
<--- 501 Access violation at address 004E65B5 in module 'G6FTPSrv.exe'. Read of address 00000000
<--- 501 Access violation at address 004E65B5 in module 'G6FTPSrv.exe'. Read of address 00000000
<--- 501 Access violation at address 004E65B5 in module 'G6FTPSrv.exe'. Read of address 00000000

From: Jarkko Hietaniemi

>Would gcc exports step forward?  How long back does the -traditional-cpp

Must.  Get.  More.  Sleep. s/ports/perts/

> There is a mechanism for this already.  It is called overloaded
> constants.

I have a mechanism that can replace Perl: it's called Turing's machine.
Or an abacus, for that matter.  More details on your proposed solution
would be conducive for further discussion.

> Is there a kernel development irc room anywhere?  If not, does anyone think
> it might be useful?

I'd just like to point out that it's called a channel, not a
room.  Room is a term introduced by AOL, and I don't think it has
much to do with IRC.

From: Linus Torvalds <>
Subject: Re: Linux 2.4.2 fails to merge mmap areas, 700% slowdown.

Cool. Somebody actually found a real case.

I'll fix the mmap case asap. Its' not hard, I just waited to see if it
ever actually triggers. Something like g++ certainly counts as major.

[sorry, that's internal, folks ;)]
[07:17] <marco2> elmex heisst jetzt plagiator...


Like all good paranoid fantasies, mine has a villain: the Japanese.
Japanese electronics designers have been deliberately building
clocks into everything in hopes of weakening our industrial might.

Now, you might say, "Dave, that's crazy talk. The Japanese have a
lot more of these gadgets than we do. They're gadget freaks,
man. They'd be hurt by this as much as we are, or even more." Which
shows how much you know, pal.

The Japanese don't have daylight saving time.

[messages we got while we massacred our institute's configuration]
/scsi2/user2# Apr  5 00:01:17 islhp7 sendmail[1539]: savemail: HELP!!!!
Apr  5 00:08:16 islhp7 sendmail[1626]: savemail: HELP!!!!

[a JAPH using doubled characters only]
s//pprriinntt  ""JJuusstt  AAnnootthheerr  PPeerrll  HHaacckkeerr,,""22//11;;
y yzzyyccss;;##s

[from the FWP mailinglist]
> OR is spelled "|" in the version of Perl I have, not "&" :)
Your version of perl sucks.

[01:43] <elmex_> ah-oh-uh
[01:44] <schmorp> leitung durchhacken
[01:44] <elmex_> wieso? welche?
[01:45] <schmorp> die, auf der du nach dem durchhacken auch noch sitzt? ;9
[02:03] <elmex_> das mit dem durchhacken daurert noch
[02:03] <elmex_> da isn stahltraeger in der wand
[02:04] <elmex_> muss ich erst drumherum
[02:04] <elmex_> ;)
[02:04] <schmorp> ist doch gut. seine leitungen soltle man ja auch nicht durchhacken
[02:04] <elmex_> nich? aber du sachstes doch?
[02:05] <schmorp> *sigh*

I agree the message is pretty useless: you need to know what it means
before you can understand it :)

>   now. Rather than the current system of "measure this item onscreen
>   and enter the figure from your ruler" to calculate DPI, I think it
>   would be more userfriendly to have the shape of some common object
>   that you could stretch to fit. For example, you could select A4
>   paper, place the top of a sheet against the monitor, and stretch or
>   shrink the virtual outline until it fits the physical outline. That
>   would give a pretty decent measurement, I think

IMHO (I have thought about this before) the perfect object is a CD
There is nowhere in the world which does not have CDs, they are always
the same size to within mm and they are perfectly round, so they can
easily be used to check that your circles are circular _if_ that is
what you want (cheap screens will distort things too badly for this to
      be worth attempting).

I'm too busy to do anything about it though, so if a piece of A4 paper
floats your goat, go for it! It's about time the Americans finally
caught up to the 20th century and went metric anyway...


From: "Mike Rebane" <>
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2001 12:48:48 -0500
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook IMO, Build 9.0.2416 (9.0.2910.0)

I dont know if you are the right person to be asking about this, but here it
goes anyways. I was wondering if you could direct me to some information on
how to hack into paysites. Im currently a networking student in college and
have a good knowledge of win 98 win 2000 and win NT. My e-mail adress is

> > > I guess then someone would want
> > >   { ... } for (...) if ...;
> > > to work :-)
> >
> > Funnily enough I wrote that very thing only yesterday.
> Eh?
> $ perl -we '{ print "$_\n" } for (@a) if $a'
> syntax error at -e line 1, near ") if"

He didn't say it worked.  :)

From: Jarkko Hietaniemi

On Mon, Nov 20, 2000 at 08:10:52PM -0600, Jarkko Hietaniemi wrote:
> I find it irksome that
>       for ( ... ) { ... } if ...;

...doesn't work, and that my send finger is too itchy.

[a perl5 bug report]
From: Simon Cozens

On Sat, Nov 18, 2000 at 05:49:55AM -0600, Dan Brumleve wrote:
> '' =~ ($re = qr((??{$i++ < 10e4 ? $re : ''})));
> Produces SIGSEGV.

Looks like a feature to me.

"Wie man ein BSE-Unix überhaupt bedienen kann..."

[hehe, the "critical thinking community", mainly located in the lesser
intelligent parts of the earth named "USA";)]

"There are articles and studies showing that, at one time, all of Earth
continents were on one side of the planet. What the stories don't explore
is the question, if all the continents were on one side, what was on the
other? The other side has been described as a tremendous gap [...]"

"We can see clear proof that the continents were all once connected by
simply looking at a map of the Earth and seeing how the pieces fit. That
would only mean that at one time, Earth was basically half a planet. If
you were to syphon all the water off of Earth's surface, you would see a
large gapping hole where the ocean has filled in this tremendous missing
part of the Earth. Where did it go?  Why is Earth only half a planet?"

[following cites are from Crypto-Gram 20010315]
I'll just reprint this from their Web site:  "iBallot.Com uses a number of
security and encryption features that, when combined, provide a very high
level of security throughout the entire voting process.  The details of
this process are proprietary, for obvious reasons.  It does not make a
great deal of sense to disclose how the iBallot.Com security system works
only to have a hacker come into the system, read about the system's
security, defeat the security and tamper with the voting process.  For this
reason, iBallot.Com does not publish its security processes.  However, with
the foregoing being said, the iBallot.Com system does employ encryption and
secure server technology to ensure that the entire voting process is fair,
accurate and not subject to tampering."

Encryption and secure server technology....  Boy, I certainly feel
better.  Good thing they don't disclose their security; if they did some
hacker might read about it and break it.  Who *are* these guys?


It's too late; Microsoft fixed it.  But just a few days ago there was one
more Q/A between the second and third question.  It read:  "Will the virus
impact my Macintosh if I am using a non-Microsoft e-mail program, such as
Eudora?  If you are using a Macintosh e-mail program that is not from
Microsoft, we recommend checking with that particular company. But most
likely other e-mail programs like Eudora are not designed to enable virus

[just some private thoughts]
Ever asked yourself why your handheld irda communication is so slow?

IrOBEX (Irda Object Exchange): A standard made by Microsoft, and it really

First of all, it is utterly inefficient in transfers: RTT totally dictates
transfer speed, not a good thing with Irda (which has a high RTT). This
totally circumvents the sliding windows irda protocol.

Also, the IrOBEX specification talks a lot about "Unicode" text without
defining it (except through totally wrong descriptions like "Unicode
is two bytes/character", showing their total lack of knowledge since
this is just plain wrong. I wonder what they mean with "Unicode", some
MS-proprietary format? Not unlikely, given what they did to iso-8859-1).

Reading through that document you will find that it would have been easy
to find people doing a better job. Actually, I think even apes would come
up with a saner protocol.

[voting by television, the american way...]
"They [voters] were like, 'Who are all these people? I thought it was only Bush
and Gore running,' " Tyson said.

Many voters believed the 10 candidates were running for different offices and
cast votes for several of them, Tyson said. Some Spanish-speaking or Haitian
voters may have had difficulty understanding directions, Tyson said.

IBM has withdrawn CPRM...
...and replaced it with something almost identical:
A good analysis by John Gilmore:

[Midori-Linux FAQ]
Q: What can I do about Netscape crashing?
A: Any experienced user of Linux Netscape is used to
seeing it crash and the included version of Linux Netscape
is no exception. This is probably not good, but the product
does not come with source code. The workaround is to run
Netscape in a loop.

Subject: [reiserfs-list] Free Space - Where did it go?

[Technologieregion Karlsruhe (und andere)]
marco: Die Region zwischen Stuttgart, Heilbronn und Karlsruhe produziert
   mehr als Laender wie Schweden, die Schweiz oder Spanien!
marco: Im neuesten Technologiebarometer von wired stehen wir auf Platz 2
   hinter dem Silicon Valley in bezug auf Technologie und Infrastruktur

[2001-03-14, 3sat, Kulturzeit zum Absturz der MIR:]
"ist mir egal"

From: Hans Reiser
Subject: [reiserfs-list] fsck now uses lost and found!

Dad, make sure the docs get updated.

[debugging message found in the siemens data exchange software]

I have seen that many drives either have a pathetically small queue or
have completely broken tagged queueing. I guess thats what happens when
most vendors target their hardware for micro$oft.

1925 With a drink so good, 'tis folly to be thirsty
1929 The high sign of refreshment
1929 The pause that refreshes
1930 It had to be good to get where it is
1932 The drink that makes a pause refreshing
1935 The pause that brings friends together
1937 STOP for a pause... GO refreshed
1938 The best friend thirst ever had
1939 Thirst stops here
1942 It's the real thing
1947 Have a Coke
1963 Things go better with Coke
1969 Face Uncle Sam with a Coke in your hand
1979 Have a Coke and a smile
1982 Coke is it!
                -- Coca-Cola slogans

[strings recently found in my /proc/cpuinfo]
model name : Heavily Overclocked Pentium II (Klamath) (266Mhz/66Mhz FSB)

[02:24] <elmex> schmorp:
[02:24] <elmex> ich wollte mal meine logik ueberpruefen an deiner erfahrung

[Die letzte Woche war zuviel für Paul]
Nach mehrstuendigen Laptop-um-/-neu-/-rauf- und runterinstallationen
erlitt unser allseits bekannter und beliebter RechnerHiWi
islpaul.bettinger am heutigen Nachmittag einen Totalabsturz. Nach der
Meldung "Die Anwendung 'Installiere Cheflaptop' wurde aufgrund eines
ungueltigen Vorganges beendet" begann er sinnlose Lieder zu singen "Die
Karawane zieht weiter, der Sultan haelt durch".  Unmittelbar darauf
wurde seine Brille blau, der Schriftzug "Allgemeine Schutzverletzung"
erschien. Nach einem Reboot durch Roland (ehemaliger Fussballer, zum
booten also gut geeignet), meldete Paul nur noch "Bitte Windows 2000 CD
einlegen" (siehe dazu die vorige PTS-Mitteilung). Nach Einlegen einer
Linux-Bootdiskette konnte Paul im Single User Modus wiederbelebt werden
- allerdings nur mit einem Bruchteil seiner urspruenglichen Faehigkeiten
(640k Speicher, 16bit Farbwahrnehmung, kein Plug&Play). Er plant nun eine
Karriere als Windows Sysadmin oder Java Programmierer.

Beileidbekundungen und Spenden bitte an

[RMS about gcc snapshots]
From: Richard Stallman <>

[...] Red Hat did make their own release from a snapshot, which was an
uncool thing to do. [...]

"Als das Universum einige zehntausend Jahre alt war - logarithmisch
betrachtet also vor relativ kurzer Zeit -, ..."
[Spektrum der Wissenschaft, 3/2001, S. 38]

"Es ist ein wunderbar beglückendes Gefühl, wenn ein selbstgefertigtes
Programm zum ersten Mal in die Rechenmaschine eingelesen wird, wenn die
Maschine anschließend rechnet und die richtigen Resultate ausdruckt."

"Manche Programmierer erliegen dem Rausch dieses Gefühls so sehr,
daß sie süchtig werden und über dem Programmieren andere Dinge
vernachlässigen. Erfahrungsgemäß hört diese Sucht nach 0,5 bis 2 Jahren
von selbst auf und macht dann häufig sogar einer gewissen Abneigung gegen
die Maschinen Platz."
[Prof. Dr. Karl Nickel (TH Karlsruhe), "ALGOL Praktikum", 1964]

My previous job, and some contract work I have done, involved writing
software for Windows.  My WORST problems were incompatibilities between
Windows NT and Windows 95.  The APIs do NOT, I repeat NOT! NOT! NOT!
work the same on the various Windows flavors, as soon as you start
doing non-trivial applications.  Three times at least, portability
problems from NT to Win95 cost me sleepless nights.  Debugging stuff
like that is hell when you don't have the source.

And when things break on Win95 where they ran on NT, what do you do,
run a debugger on Win95, where a crash can (and will) bring down the
whole system?  Ugh, the horror.

> You know XOR is patented (yes, the logical bit operation XOR).

US Patent #4,197,590 held by NuGraphics, Inc.

Legend has it Microsoft once found a patent of theirs which IBM appeared
to have infringed, and were very excited at the possibility of something
to hold over IBM, so their lawyers met IBM's lawyers. The MS lawyers
beamed "look at our patent you've infringed!" IBM's lawyers replied "look
at this pile of our patents YOU'VE infringed... let's start with this
one. A Tab key." MS suddenly realised they were outlawyered...

From: David Woodhouse
> Okay, so if we are going to get real stupid about the whole thing, I
> wonder if Microsloth is going to patent the patent?

Filing nuisance patents for obvious stuff which shouldn't ever get granted
is a viable business method and as such is patentable in the US.

After all, what patent officer is going to point out the prior art?

[recently on linux-kernel]
From: Alan Cox
> > Yeah. We can have this as part of the locale settings, changable by
> > echoing the desired locale string to /proc/sys/kernel/lc_all.
> Just an idea, . .  but isn't this something better done in userland?

Please remember this is an international list. For the benefit of certain
users please mark all sarcasm with the word NOT or a simply face

From: Russell King
Date:   Sat, 3 Feb 2001 23:31:26 +0000 (GMT)
To: Albert D. Cahalan

Albert D. Cahalan writes:
> The units seem to vary. I suggest using fundamental SI units.
> That would be meters, kilograms, seconds, and maybe a very
> few others -- my memory fails me on this.

iirc, SI comes from France, and therefore it should be "metres"

[flames to /dev/null please] ;)

[11:19] <pho3nix> ich hoffe du bist dir im klaren darüber, das ein Mensch,
der was von dir hielt, jetzt so beleidigt wurde, dass er nichts mehr mit
dir zu tun haben will, COMMUNICATION END
[11:19] <schmorp> pho3nix: ich weiss ja nochnichtmal, warum?

[über "Mediengestaltung"]
[10:39] <elmex|Zz> pho3nix: information mit desingt ueberlagern
[10:40] <schmorp> elmex|Zz: ueberlagern oder erestzen, das its hier die frage?

[perldoc perlembed]
You can sometimes _write_faster_code_ in C, but you can always _write_code_faster_ in Perl.

[03:34] <JanMan> Arvoreen: elmex-werbung: "Nur echt elmex, wenn Lukas drinnsteckt" :)

[09:26] <JanMan> bevor du arbeiten auf lukas-server nimm den job als massenmoerder.
[09:34] <JanMan> elmex: pass' auf, dass keine loop entsteht:

/* So there I am, in the middle of my `netfilter-is-wonderful'
   talk in Sydney, and someone asks `What happens if you try
   to enlarge a 64k packet here?'.  I think I said something
   eloquent like `fuck'. */

[20:44] <elmex|aw> ich werde mir nochmal ueberlegen ob ich heute nochmal hier her komme......

[09:40] <kiki> zu spaet
[09:40] <JanMan> kiki: hey, blasen hilft jetzt auch nicht mehr...
[09:41] <kiki> lutschen hat noch nie bei dir geholfen
[09:41] <kiki> aushungern schon
[09:41] <JanMan> elmex: ja, das hat mit blume + biene zu tun.
[09:41] <elmex> ?
[09:42] <elmex> JanMan: ich kenne mich schon sehr wohl damit aus. nur halt noch keine erfarung

[Sierpinski Triangle, by Rich Morin]

[From RDFStore::Stanford::Digest::Util, which is a java library ported to

   $SIG{__WARN__} = sub { return undef; }; #to take off the bloody utf warns

[now, as for some comments: it took me hours to debug code that used warn
to, well, warn users but the users didn't see anything. The intent of the
above code was obviously to get rid of the "illegal multibyte character"
warning in perl. This is the typical way a java programmer reacts to bugs
in his code: "I don't understand this computer thing anyway, so let's just
disable the message and pray it works"]

[Another "one-liner" mail... Please spam him ;)]
From: "Alexander Daskalov" <>
Date: Mon,  5 Feb 2001 12:44:11 -0800
X-Mailer: <IMail v6.05>

I was just curious how many people are on ths gimp mailing list? Whoever+
can see this message please reply with a simple answer like: i am, or+
i'm on the list!, etc. Please reply, i thik everybody else might want to+
know this same information, it also gives us a chance to know each other+
better! So please reply to this message if on the mailing list!

[I was looking for ISO3166 && ISO639 tables in the corresponding "local"
language, if applicable, and came up with this:]

*  This file is dedicated to my dog, Unix, also known as Yun-chan and
* Unix J. Terwilliker Jehosophat Aloysius Monstrosity Animal Beast.  Unix
* passed away at the age of 11 1/2 on September 14, 1996, 12:18 PM PDT, after
* a two-month bout with cirrhosis of the liver.

[from qmail's maildir(5)]
Many sites use Sun's Network Failure System (NFS), presumably because the
operating system vendor does not offer anything else.

[Lukas Grundwald]
Der Film scheint echt gut zu sein: geht viel kaputt.

[waiting for windows...]

[x86 really is a cool design]
> For our specific purposes, that's not important.  We already flush the cache
> before we create uncached regions (via ioremap_nocache).  I understand that as a
> general Linux feature, you can't ignore cache incoherency, but I don't think
> it's a hard requirement.

Actually you can't ignore it or the processor will have a heart attack
if the cached page mapping is used even speculatively.  I've done some
experimenting, if the page is mapped cached in one place, and UCWC in
another, things will not work.  Its extremely likely the processor will
cease to function.  Its not like having cached and uncached mappings of
a page (which does work on the Intel processors, we use that feature in
the agpgart and the DRM in fact.)  When you mark a page UCWC, you better
have removed all cached mappings or your asking for REAL trouble.

> once again. On the Debian group it's invariably "how do I load
> Netscape?"

can't be.  debian sounds more like:  "who do i have to ask for using
netscape, and do we all agree on /usr/local/bin/. ?"

The COBOL language was created specifically to reduce the amount of
commenting necessary in a program, because the English-like sentence
structure could be read and understood by humans.  The FORTRAN language was
created so that math types could "talk" in a language more familiar to
them, letting the computer take care of the details about how to perform
the specified task step-by-step.

There is an old programmer's rule.

"Documentation? Too bad. If the code was damned hard to write, it should
be damned hard to understand."

Tabs are 8 characters. They are NOT adjustable. Never have been, never
will be. Anybody who thinks tabs are anything but 8 chars apart is just
wrong. It's that simple.

[yes, thank you, it helps a lot ;)]
09:31] *** Joins: Unkn0wn [] has joined #schmorp
[09:32] <Unkn0wn> Nah, I won't alert yas.  Was just cruisin around and found your
   site of H-games and thought bout thankin you for puttin it up.  I figure most ppl
   never take a moment to thank someone. =P  <Bows, and heads back to #VB on

[character normalization might be harmful]
>      In short, normalizing prior to digesting AVOIDS allowing
> inconsequential changes to change the digest.  If I have misunderstood the
> point of the section cited, I'm sure someone will correct me.

Your scenario is correct as far as it goes.  But consider a signed
document that contains an element or attribute named
"autorisation_de_découvert" ("credit limit").
A forged version of the document that contained the name
"autorization_de_de'couvert" (where ' = COMBINING ACUTE) would pass
a normalization + signature check.  However, the document processor
might well fail to recognize it as having the semantics of "credit limit"
and treat it as unknown and to be ignored.  Bad news: the forger
now appears to have unlimited credit!

["my spam"]
        99% of mine is from China (either *.cn or or some other
numbering .com or .net.  The .org is frowned upon in China - the TLD of
protestors and disidents).  Half of what's left comes from either .kr
or .br.  I'm fully in favor of an Internet Death Penalty against those
TLD's and associated domains till they clean up their acts.

[from linux-kernel]
Hello Linus, my name is Rick Jones. I am the person at Hewlett-Packard
who drafted the "so _obviously_ stupid" sendfile() interface of HP-UX.
[... snip ...]
never forget what leads to the downfall of the protagonist in Greek

From: "Mike A. Harris"

On Wed, 10 Jan 2001, Jeremy Huddleston wrote:
>---- A notice to spammers ----
>Unsolicited electronic mail advertisements to my email address is
>strictly prohibited. Pursuant to California Business and Professions
>Code, Section 17538.45, senders of unsolicited electronic mail
>advertisements to me may be subject to a civil penalty of $50 per
>message plus attorney's fees.
[SNIP long sig]

O - K then.  Nice sig.  Too bad that it is at least as big as
most spam mailings themselves.  Instead of preventing spam,
all you're doing is contributing to it.

I just delete spam now as it is easiest most of the time.
However fortunately, the below sig comes from a static and easily
procmailable address.

One more note is that no law of California, nor anywhre else
means jack shit 50 meters away from your keyboard, so it is all
just a waste of bandwidth.

rm: Entfernen von Verzeichnis »./xxx/po« nicht möglich: Die Datei existiert bereits

[during a toilet session, this flashed/flushed through my mind/brain]
/bin/true --version | read && echo eek, a gnuzifist\!

[stefan thought this would be better]
/bin/true --version | read && rm -rf /  # get rid of non-posix Windows stuff.

[02:53] <schmorp> in c 1 stunde suchen und probieren und dann 7 zeilen
[02:53] <JanMan> schmorp: nein. in C 2 minuten suchen.
[02:54] <JanMan> ich weiss nicht, an welchen level ich wo patchen soll.
[02:55] <JanMan> es gibt eine Key, eine RSAKey, eine RSAKeyPublic/RSAKeyPrivate
   klasse, alles muell.
[02:56] <JanMan> (ueberall noch ein praefix SSH..)
[02:56] <JanMan> und die sachen sind ueber SSHRSAPublicKeyFile abgewickelt...
[02:57] <JanMan> klar gibt es auch SSHRSAPublicKeyString.

[02:38] <JanMan> Lexikon: Java - siehe "ins Knie ficken, objektorientiert"

[02:30] <JanMan> schmorp: java has too many keywords but lacks an important one.
[02:32] <JanMan> schmorp: yes: "broken". Java needs a "broken" keyword. "Error:
   missing "broken" but class seems "broken".

On Thu, Jan 11, 2001 at 09:34:08PM -0500, Michael Rothwell wrote:
   The man pages for open, read and write say that if a file is opened
   using the O_NONBLOCK flag, then read() and write() will always return
   immediately and not block the calling process.

the man pages are wrong


From: "David S. Miller" <>
My take on this is that khttpd is unmaintained garbage.

[Subject: line on linux-kernel]
Re: That horrible hack from hell called A20

From: "Vladimir V. Saveliev"
> tar cvpf - foo | ( cd reiserfs; tar xvpf - )
> Halfway through it gets a kernel oops and

How fast does it oops?

From: Stefan Traby <>

On Sun, Jan 07, 2001 at 02:01:05PM +0000, Alan Cox wrote:
> NFSv2 has a 32bit file offset. Thus the largest file on NFSv2 you want to
> touch is 2Gig.

In theory, yes.
In practice you don't want to touch NFS under Linux at all, so the
2GB limit is a theoretical one. :)

[10:44] <elmex> --------------------------------------------------------
[10:44] <elmex> |   |        |   |                          |  |       |
[10:44] <elmex> |   |        |   |-----|                    |  |       |
[10:44] <elmex> |   |-------------------------|             |  |       |
[10:44] <elmex> |   |-|      | .---------------------------.|  |-------|
[10:44] <elmex> |     |      | |Welcome on||  |       |
[10:44] <elmex> |     |-|    | `---------------------------'|  |       |
[10:44] <elmex> | |----------|         |-----------------------|       |
[10:44] <elmex> | |     |-|            |      |             |          |
[10:44] <elmex> |-|       |            |      |             |-----|    |
[10:44] <elmex> |         |------------|--------------      |     |    |
[10:44] <elmex> |     |-----------------------------------|-|     |----|
[10:44] <elmex> |   |-|              |-|      |       |   |            |
[10:44] <elmex> | |-|                |        |       |   |            |
[10:44] <elmex> |-|                  |        |       |   |            |
[10:44] <elmex> --------------------------------------------------------

Any committee IQ: average intelligence of members, divided by headcount.

"There were a lot of snickers in my course... The students looked at me
like I was a stegosaurus still walking around when I told them that the
[irrational spending of many dot-coms] was not sustainable. You have to
take in more money then you put out, or you're toast."
           -- Ken Morse, managing director, MIT Entrepreneurship Center

"Wenn _ich_ das sage, darf ich das."
[Lukas Grunwald]

[about having sponsoring message in YOUR syslog]
From: Felix von Leitner <>
Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 21:33:13 +0100

Thus spake Wojciech Puchar (
> > To view list of copyright holders type `copyright' at the shell
> > prompt.
> very good. maybe implement /proc/info/copyrights /proc/info/sponsors
> /proc/info/authors?

Grand idea.
Let's also add /proc/info/spammers,
/proc/info/people-who-were-flamed-by-alan-cox and


[Nick and I used to fight a LOT]
Subject: Re: suggestion for gimp 1.3 and later
From: Nick Lamb <>

On Wed, Dec 13, 2000 at 03:29:41AM +0100, Marc Lehmann wrote:
> I think the best way would be to make any gtk label/text widget be
> selectable. I don't know why this has not been done so far, but it might be
> an interesting experiment.

Yes, I've often thought this. And everyone knows that if Marc and I agree
about something it must be right (?) or at least it's in no-one's interest
to disagree... WINNER 2nd prize! 3rd prize!
[und Lukas sagt:]
... man beachte die logarithmische Skala!

[from "how to photograph a total eclipse", in the nasa 1999 solar eclipse
... The best strategy is to choose one aperture or f/number and bracket
the exposures over a range of shutter speeds (i.e. 1/1000 down to 1
second). Rehearsing this sequence is highly recommended since great
excitment accompanies totality and there is little time to think.

[boy, now I know why I dislike GNOME]

["kORBit, a CORBA implementation for the linux-kernel"]
From: Jamie Lokier <>
Date:   Sat, 9 Dec 2000 11:34:39 +0100

Alexander Viro wrote:
> > It was just an example. Basically, you'd be able to do in with just
> > about any language that has ORBit bindings.
> Yeah... "Infinitely extendable API" and all such. Roughly translated
> as "we can't live without API bloat". Frankly, judging by the GNOME
> codebase people who designed the thing are culturally incompatible with

Agree.  I remember a big complaint about Windows was the huge APIs,
compared with Unix' tiny list of syscalls.  And then I saw the GNOME
docs... ew!

> Good question.  The whole thing makes me nervous... in fact, perhaps we
> should really consider using the BIOS INT 15h interrupt to enter
> protected mode?

From my experience with BIOS authors, only if Windows 98 uses the same function
with the same arguments, the same stuff top of stack and the same segment
registers loaded ;)

> > there...  If someone wants to back-port the driver to 2.2, this makes it
> backports hurt forward progress.

beware of content free dogma

> What operating systems use local time as their basic clock these days?  Just
> wondering.

Any IBM PC compatible machine that runs under at least one Microsoft OS
has to keep the battery-backed CMOS clock chip in local time, because
unlike most other operating systems (e.g., any Unix flavour), none of
Microsoft's CMOS clock drivers have a UTC option. Rather disappointing
and every year an unneeded hassle after DST switches on multi-OS
machines. From discussions with Microsoft staff, I have to conclude that
no-one within Microsoft has even understood the problem.

Markus [G. Kuhn]

>Please consider the attached patch for inclusion in all future versions
>of the modutils depmod program for compatiblity with RedHat and
>RedHat derived Linux distributions.

I have a big problem with Redhat.  They make incompatible changes to
utilities, do not feed patches back to maintainers then expect the rest
of the world to follow their lead.  The -i and -m flags to modutils are
not the only example, I recently found IA64 and Sparc patches they had
added to modutils code and not bothered to tell me.  Other distributors
are much better about sending me patches, Debian and SuSe in particular
do the right thing.

Since "-F" in modutils is equivalent to "-m -i"
and works on all distributions, not just Redhat, the "-m -i" patch is
unnecessary.  Consider this my protest against bad habits by
distributors, they created the mess with their lack of communication
and they have to fix it.

10:44] <JanMan> falls Du mal DB2 crashen musst:
[10:45] <JanMan>     connect reset;
[10:45] <JanMan>     connect to sample user db2admin using db2admin;
[10:45] <JanMan>     select * from employee where year(birthdate)=1999 and firstnme<'';

[a perl quine, by ilmari karonen:]

On Tue, Dec 05, 2000 at 07:22:34PM -0500, M&M Samsel wrote:
> You see I  have about 10 years of commercial development experience and
> pretty much know business procedures from huge corporations and business
> midgets and what I should expect or not.

You've not demonstrated your 10 years of experience.
You've just proved that killfiles are useful.

[once upon a time, when poul started gnomeicu:]
gnomeicu: Rohrbruch (beim Speichern der Konfiguration)

[subject from a thread on the gcc steering commitee mailinglist when
glibc-2.2 was released]
Re: glibc 2.2 a fait accompli

[08:05] <JanMan> elmex: Fehlt Dir einmal Klopapier, versuche es mit GNU m4. :)

# root:0Ayj0AZhTi4O2:11272:0:99999:7:::
# kma:1NXgYu6J80kvc:11225:0:99999:7:::
# elmex:0ImdHgG2TEQAE:11273:0:99999:7: : :

<JanMan_> soll ich das ganze uber einen perl-hash erzeugen ?
<schmorp> klar.. %hash->generate
<JanMan_> oesi siedelt nach de:  %oesi->degenerate

[From "How the mind of a php programmer works", by Marc Lehmann]

(1) it works on msie 5 (alt.: netscape 4) so the code is
(2) an entity looks like "&" entityname ";"
(2a) [conclusion] the fragment href="xxx&notes=77" doesn't contain a valid
     entity, so the browser must use it as is.
(2b) [corollary] "<blubb>" is not a valid html element, so the browser
     must react according to what I assume it should do (display, ignore).
(2c) in some programs I assume differently than in others.

[Oh no, Don Becker again ;)]
> which one is the linksys card, so I have included the entire listing. (Is it
> even listed? Perhaps this is my problem.)

That's your problem.

There is no PCI Ethernet device listed.

Check that the card is fully inserted into the PCI slot.
  (If it's an ISA card, then it's not fully inserted into the PCI slot ;->)

> > sure request_module _does_not_ accept funky module names. Why allow
> > people to shoot themselves (and, by extension, all other Linux users
> > out there) in the foot?

> I thought that was the whole purpose of Unix/Linux?

True!  Very true!  Unix/Linux requires that the user shoot
themselves in the foot.  Windows automates that process and does it
for the user, thus making foot shooting user friendly.  :-)

> Turn on encryption, and try sending attachements > 1MB and tell me if
> you see any problems, like emails sitting in /var/spool/mqueue for a day
> or two until they go out.  I can guarantee you will.

No encryption use; and the maximal message size is 1Mb (for sanity's sake,
after somebody sent a PowerPoint presentation (some 3Mb), then thought that
perhaps the target didn't have PowerPoint, and sent it again with the
PowerPoint package, then noticed this might not work either, and sent it
_again_ with the full MS Office attached...  the joys of sysadminning ;-)
Dr. Horst H. von Brand             

Ulrich Drepper <> writes:

> "Theodore Y. Ts'o" <tytso@MIT.EDU> writes:
> > Arguably though the bug is in glibc, in that if it's using signals
> > behinds the scenes, it should have passed SA_RESTART to sigaction.
> Why are you talking  such a nonsense?

[Note to self: remove kitten from keyboard before writing mail.]

[Simon Budig, nachdem er erfahren hatte, daß Lars Eilebrecht nicht wusste,
daß Leerzeichen in URLs nicht erlaubt sind:]
"Also, Lars, das hätte ich nicht gedacht, jetzt hast du aber jede Menge
Gurupunkte bei mir verloren."

[amazon readers about the Annotated C Standard by Herberdt Schildt,
which is much less expensive then the official version (search also for
Bullschildt below ;)]

"The price difference reflects the value of the annotations. At no time
do the annotations clarify, enhance, or supplement the standard."

Stefan Traby wrote:
> On Mon, Nov 06, 2000 at 08:43:04AM -0500, Chris Mason wrote:
> > We have a few websites floating around, [...]
> Many mirrors are also out of sync. Especially the primary server :)

> This happens with both ext2 and reiserfs, since at least 2.2.15.

I installed noflushd on my laptop, which was running 2.4.0-test6, and
it did the same thing.

Sorry I can't offer more info. Someone spilt a glass of water on it about
a week ago. :(


"Kalk hat diese Waschmaschine getötet"

[It is] best to confuse only one issue at a time.
                -- K&R

<elmex> JanMan: "||01:42:20|| <elmex> schmorp: jo, die sprache muss man nicht erklaeren"

[please kids, don't try this at home]
indent -kr -l78 -lc78 -lps -i8 -br -pcs -psl -bbo -bad -bap -cs -nbc -nhnl -nss

$modules => { "" => "" };

Das einzig sichere Mittel gegen Migräne ist das Entfernen des Kopfes.

<JanMan> elmex: Sprichwort "Relaye doch bei dnx, dann kriegst Du nix." :)

[From Russel Coker's .sig]
> --
> If you can't program in C, PERL, and shell scripts then don't call yourself a
> Unix administrator. Every idiot on the net is claiming to be a Unix admin. :(

[the two sides of the medal]
From: "David Schwartz"

> Under Solaris 7, when the number of idle sockets was increased from
> 100 to 10000, the time to check for active sockets with poll()
> increased by a factor of only 6.5.  That's a sublinear increase in time,
> pretty spiffy.

Under Solaris 7, when the number of idle sockets was decreased from 10,000
to 100, the time to check for active sockets with poll() decreased by a
factor of only 6.5. Shouldn't it be more like 100? Sounds like Solaris' poll
implementation is horribly broken for the most common case.

[lukas grunwald...]
[ich sag' dir, ] ... am nächsten Tag brüllt der mich vielleicht per e-mail an ...

[from linux-kernel, about the rtl8139 network card]
> (After looking at the specification for the 8139, I am acctually ashamed
> of having bough one.

Not an uncommon thought :)

From: Stefan Traby

Hi Marc !

keycode 115 = ISO_Next_Group
keycode 116 = ISO_Prev_Group
keycode 117 = ISO_Level3_Shift

Finde ich witzig, man erspart sich den lock-screensaver :)

[I hope you get the point(s)...]
From: Alex LIVINGSTON <>
Date: Wed, 18 Oct 2000 16:12:46 +1100
To: <>

At 07:40 +0000 2000-10-06, wrote:
>But the thing is: mm/dd/yy[yy] is in widespread use (US), as is
>dd/mm/yy[yy] (much of Europe, I'm told).

Slight refinement: dd/mm/[yy]yy. Used in all European countries - and
all countries colonized by a European country at one time or another
which haven't had a strong US influence since, and probably all
remaining Asian, African, and Pacific countries - that don't use
[yy]yy-mm-dd. mm/dd/yy[yy] is restricted almost entirely to the US
and a few neighbors. I would hesitate to say it is in widespread use.

>[yy]yy-mm-dd was used
>in Japan even before the ISO standard came out.

And in China, and in Sweden, and in Hungary, ... (possibly with different
separators). Also in the Arab world, in the sense that the digits (all of
them) appear in the same order from left to right, only Arabic is written
right to left.

>But no culture
>has ever used [yy]yy-dd-mm format, and there is absolutely
>nothing to recommend it, so there is no reason to expect anyone
>to adopt it.  Yes, the perverse can use that format just to
>confound us, but in practice one can safely assume that a
>nnnn-nn-nn date is in yyyy-mm-dd format.

Thanks Ken. You've put it much better and more concisely than I could have.


[recently, on the tulip driver mailing list]
From: Donald Becker <>
To: "Jon.Hinks" <>

[most of the reply snipped...]

> The contents of this email are confidential to the intended recipient. It
> may not be disclosed to or used by anyone other than this addressee, nor may
> it be copied in any way. If received in error, please contact Berkeley

[[ The rest of the boilerplate omitted. ]]

These terms do not apply.  You have mailed to a published list.  You hold
the copyright to your writings, but by submitting questions to the list you
grant the list publisher (me) the right to publish in this list and related
forums.  "Related forums" may be collected archives of the list on any media,
and quotes from questions in FAQs.

(Long boilerplate appendages like this notice annoy me.  Automatically
 attached copyright notices can never unilaterally extend your rights, so why
 try to claim that they do?)

On Fri, 6 Oct 2000, Andre Hedrick wrote:

> void go_take_a_dump (float load)
> {
>   if (pull_down_pants() && purge_bowles() && wipe_anus() && pull_up_pants())
>      flush(load);
>   else
>      wear(load);
> }

But here you make another classic mistake. Consider the case where
purge_bowels() fails (-EWOULDBLOCK?).

In that case, you don't actually execute the subsequent two procedure
calls, which I'm sure we all agree is a suboptimal state of affairs.


Factoid: 90% of all patents are never challenged, while 80% of those that
are are overturned.

"Going into court is throwing the dice."

[Dipl. Ing. W******* D*******]
"Lukas, eins muss dir klar sein, die ganze Kryptographie ist doch
für den Arsch, wenn ich ein Stück von dem Originaltext habe und den
verschlüsselten Text, knack' ich dir jeden Schlüssel in 50 Stunden."

[some discussion between reiserfs enthusiasts:]
Stefan: oh shit, everything coredumps, I'll just reboot.
Marc gives some dumb comments.
Stefan: No, I'll first check it with reiserfsck.
Marc: Yeah.. and?
Stefan: "reiserfsck: no reiserfs found"
Marc: Oh, the superblock is damaged. Maybe you should just try the backup superblock...

[t-online is just sooo cool:]
Subject: mail failed, returning to sender
From: <>

|------------------------- Failed addresses follow: ---------------------|
 <> ... 550 Mailbox quota exceeded / Mailbox voll.
|------------------------- Message text follows: ------------------------|

[a play with a well-known-signature:]
Deadlock, n.:
        Deceased Rasterman.

[Jeff Williams & friends]

[some .signature]
This message has been ROT-13 encrypted twice for extra security.

[Andreas Mueller-Maghun for ICANN!]
Allein der Kandidat des Chaos-Computer-Clubs (CCC) Hamburg, der schon
mehr als 1.100 Unterstützungserklärungen erhalten hat, dürfte nach
Einschätzung des arbeitskreises die Bedingung für eine Basiskandidatur
zum ICANN-Direktorium schon jetzt erfüllen. Ausgerechnet er hat es aber
nicht für nötig gehalten, auf die Anfrage der Behindertenvertreter zu
reagieren. Seine Webseiten zeugen zudem von einem "Sicherheitskonzept",
das Usern mit Sehbehinderung vor lauter technischen Barrieren keine
Zugangsmöglichkeiten bietet. Der Arbeitskreis hält einen Vertreter solcher
Positionen für unwählbar.

Jens Bertrams (Pressesprecher)

From: (Albert Y. C. Lai)
Newsgroups: comp.lang.functional
Subject: Re: what is "functional" (Re: Macros)

Jerzy Karczmarczuk writes:

> Their opinion: "well, *everybody* knows that this is not professional,
> nobody uses functional languages, all your colleagues suggest that we
> should learn Lex and Yacc, etc. -
> but *WHAT A PLEASURE AND FUN* was to write these programs in Haskell.
> Almost no run-time errors, ever!"

A professor at my school got the opposite opinion from her students.
She introduced ML (along with two other languages) as part of a course
on the principles of programming languages in the third year.  The
students' opinion: this is such an annoyingly pedantic language, it
refuses to let me run my program and get some partial though wrong
results simply because I make a mistake!

In other words, given that humans are bound to make mistakes, the
students at my school prefer to see them manifested as run-time

So I look at your email address.  Ah, you are in Europe and I am in
North America.  I guess that's why.  Dijkstra is probably right about
European programmers liking to do programming right and American
programmers liking to chase after bugs.

On Thu, Aug 24, 2000 at 11:15:09PM +0200, Werner Almesberger wrote:
> wrote:
> >             This call shifts delivered signal numbers up so that
> >    "special" POSIX signals [.. like KILL] can be delivered to a process.
> Kind of a SIGOVERKILL ... yes, that could work.

"The posix programmer knows the availability of everything, but the cost
of nothing."

[after the linux-kernel list was moved to a new machine]
Jeffrey Hundstad wrote:
> So tell us about this new machine.  OS?  Filesystem? Memory?
> CPU?

Root password? :)


I think there is a world market for about five computers.

Thomas J. Watson (Chairman, IBM) 1943

> NO. They can/will use RAW_IO *IF* this is available to them. If not, they
> will have to provide a proper kernel driver for their hardware. I know
> which I prefer...

Sure. And keep that dusty 2.4.3 kernel around just in case you someday need
to upgrade the firmware for your disk, and the (binary!) kernel module only
works with that one. Don't forget the 2.4.15ac12 which is for your USB
scanner, and also the 2.6.7-12 (Red Hat) which is the only one with the
updater for the new SCSI controller.
Horst von Brand


>Nicht alles was Standard ist, muss auch implementiert werden.


Nicht alles, was hinkt, ist ein Vergleich.

[Drew Sanford about why not to do real-time by throwing faster hardware
at your problem:]

The F4 Fantom fighter. The plane was essentially a large block of metal, with
a few advantagously aerodynamic surfaces, and big f****** engines. If you
had engine trouble in a Fantom had trouble.

[Hans Reiser, on /bin/cp.. ;)]
cp is inherently inefficient.

>I thought disk drives contained vacuums, thus the extensive concern over
>breaking seals on them.

Air pressure is 1Kg/cm^2.  I have never seen a hard drive case that looked
nearly strong enough to take such pressure.  Basically if you can't jump on a
hard drive then it's not strong enough!


There's a story that Dave Cutler (VMS and WNT architect) when he was at DEC
did a test on a DEC hard drive by blowing cigar smoke into the drive which
killed it properly.  DEC then greatly enhanced their drive air filters.  It
could be just an urban myth though.

Russell Coker

>I've unsubscribed our somewhat less than intelligent friend.
>Ah, Internet for the masses.  What a wonderful idea.

Yeah, let's have an IQ test before you're allowed to buy a modem.

On Sat, Jun 24, 2000 at 02:40:33PM +0200, Marc Lehmann wrote:
> "Yury Yu. Rupasov" wrote:
> > All my current benchmarks show that reiserfs works correctly on
> > deleting.
> Just a sidenote: you don't test correctness with benchmarks :(

Wrong. Yury does.


"Jeff V. Merkey" writes:
> I will provide a tool that decodes and repairs NTFS volumes to those
> folks who run into this problem, but our agreements with Microsoft do
> not allow us to distribute it for any purpose other than to assist
> Microsoft customers who have corrupted drives.  Also, this tool is
> dependent on the DDK being present to run as it has dependencies on the
> DDK DLL's, so you'll need to install the DDK to use it.

DDK == "Disk Death Kit"?

Ian Soboroff                             

[very instructional movie, if you get what I mean...]
00:30-02:05 (13) ( -35) Kabel 1 Das Mädchen am Ende der Straße The
Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane Psychodrama - KAN/F/USA - 1976 -
Regie: Nicolas Gessner * Die 13-jährige Rynn (Jodie Foster) lebt allein in
einer alten Villa und hütet ein schreckliches Geheimnis.

[Einsichten in die "Kommunikation"]
> > > Ich beschreibe dir, was in dem Moment an Eindruecken durch meinen
> > > Kopf geht - in dem Augenblick bin ich Besucher und sehe was
> > > mir gefaellt oder nicht - das ist wie ein Schmierzettel. Die
> > > Ausarbeitung der Ideen kommt danach im Gespraech. Du packst solche
> > > Sachen anders an - das seh ich ein.  Aber ich bin mit dieser
> > > Art chaos bisher immer ans Ziel gekommen. Was ich mach will -
> > > machen muss - ist Feedback generieren. Ich lass Versuchsballons
> > > aufsteigen und schau zu, wie sie entweder fliegen oder abgeschossen
> > > werden. Dann reagier ich auf das Ergebnis.

[Mitch, als Erklärung dafür, weshalb er blindlings ein (kaputtes) ssh-rpm
installiert hat, das er über rpmfind gefunden hat:]
Doch, echt! Der Server war trusted, der sah' ja sowas von vertrauenswürdig

[IMHO one of the main reasons linux is nicer]

[On the reality of random numbers]
> /dev in a world with dynamic hardware, so why bother? We only need
> to provide random numbers to fill in struct stat. (zero works)
Alan Cox [as usual ;)]

[Flame Warriors]

A programmer who hasn't been exposed to all four of the imperative,
functional, objective, and logical programming styles has one or
more conceptual blindspots.  It's like knowing how to boil but not
fry.  Programming is not a skill one develops in five easy lessons.


X-Mailer: AOL 5.0 for Windows sub 105

Hi there, I recently downloaded your gimp toolkit.  At first I was having
problems until I read your download help tip.  I understand I have to compile
it so I tried using Borland C++ Compiler but it said the line length exceeds
editor capacity.  Is there any other compiler I can use that wouldn't rip a
whole in my wallet.  Thank you for your support.

["General Information About Using VBScript with Outlook"]
VBScript is designed to be a secure programming environment.  It
lacks various commands that can be potentially damaging if used in
a malicious manner.  This added security is critical in enterprise

[Despite this "added security", however, VBscript still can modify,
rename, delete files, modify windows registry entries and send email in
the background]

[Phil Agre on the "ILOVEYOU" virus and Microsoft's reaction]
Scott Culp of Microsoft Public Relations, excuse me, I mean Microsoft
Security Response Center:

      This is a general issue, not a Microsoft issue.  You can write a
      virus for any platform.  (New York Times 5/5/00)

[and later]
Mr. Culp also says this (CNET 5/5/00):

      This is by-design behavior, not a security vulnerability.

[Phil closes]
Microsoft shouldn't be broken up.  It should be shut down.

[See also]

[Bruce Schneier about the "ILOVEYOU" virus]
Expect even worse in the future.  Systems running either Microsoft Office
2000 or Internet Explorer 5.0 can be infected with these sorts of viruses
even if the recipient doesn't open the attachment.  That's right; if the
system is running Internet Explorer with the default settings, it is
vulnerable.  The problem is caused by a programming bug in an Internet
Explorer ActiveX control.  Thank you, Microsoft.

>Reaching to Fallingbostel was extremely amusing though, germany is
>splitted into two halfs, one that doesn't know Fallingbostel and one
>that 'heard of this place but have no idea where it is' at some point I
>was almost convinced that there is no such place :)

[Trashey / Quasars]

Tom Christiansen writes:
> I'm writing perlrtfm.  It explains search techniques, not quickfix
> switches plugging bursting dykes by springing more leaks.

Irony potential in

  man perlrtfm

is left to the reader.


Do you plan to release support for on-the-fly file and directory compression
and encryption as in NTFSv2?

(Imagine a system that in order to run needs a diskette or CD-ROM disk with
 private key - protection never seen except in movies ;-)

[Telekom-Techniker, bei einer ISDN-UK0-Messung!]
Ich: Also, einen Layer-1-Connect bekomme ich...
Telekomiker: Layer-1? Was ist das? Aber ich bekomme ja auch gar kein Freizeichen...

"I love the way Microsoft follows standards.  In much the
same manner that fish follow migrating caribou."
                                            Paul Tomblin

[recently on p5p]
>I am morally
>convinced that map() was written based on grep()

Considering they use the same op function, I'd say that's a distinct


[after the "Welle Erdball" performance on the Mekka&Symposium 2000:]
<jan> bine: du solltest da nicht hingucken, das ist nicht gut fürn kopf
<Bordeaux> after listening to this crap, and hearing *zugabe zugabe* i finally have the proof that all german c64 sceners are gay :)
<Mr> zugabe

"Why upon hearing his arguments I changed my opinion 360 degrees."
                        Recent comment on the floor of some state legislature

[cobol, *sigh*]

It is expected that the Multics system will be published when it is
operating substantially and will therefore be available for implementation
on any equipment with suitable characteristics. Such publication is
desirable for two reasons: First, the system should withstand public
scrutiny and criticism volunteered by interested readers; second, in an
age of increasing complexity, it is an obligation to present and future
system designers to make the inner operating system as lucid as possible
so as to reveal the basic system issues.

                                Corbat_ & Vyssotsky 1965

   "Rule #7: Silence is not acquiescence.

   "Contrary to what you may have heard, silence of those present is
   not necessarily consent, even the reluctant variety.  They simply
   may sit in stunned silence and figure ways of sabotaging the plan
   after they regain their composure."

        -- Paul Rinaldo
[see also]

On Sat, Apr 01, 2000 at 12:09:59AM +1000, Chris wrote:
> In case you guys havn't noticed...
> reports that XFS is now released.

Yes, and reports:

Error: Unable to connect to MySQL Server ().



  ciao -

> The 'hypervisor' is a new term to me..  Are you refering to the
> Transmeta CPU and it's native mode?  If I read you correctly

No its what the S/390 VM is often called. Its a supervisor for supervisor
mode programs so illogically enough its a hypervisor 8). The IBM mainframe
guys thing this kind of set up is routine. Unix is met with
'You mean you cant run a new kernel on test at the same time as the old
one' type remarks.
[Alan Cox]

Godwin's Law

   As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison
                   involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

[see also]

["Stefan im IRC."]

[01:53:07] <coda> anyone know how to get emacs to stop creating the files?
[01:53:24] <JanMan> alias emacs=vi
[01:53:31] <coda> haha

[remaining problems with OpenBIOS]
Our SDRAM sizing and init code is not very good; we could use good code.
The code we've been offered so far requires memory to work (oops!);
requires a stack (oops!); or assumes a totally configured machine (oops!).

[Alan Cox on wether special fs's should have require "//" in their path]
> No :-) It's a feature. Some things are going REAL ugly without such things.

Given //ipc or freebsd, I think I'd pick freebsd. Thats how ugly the idea
is to me ok.

"The code is self documenting." -- The Programmer.

"I don't read C." -- The Tech Writer.

[Stefan Sebolth, on the CeBIT, while listening to the original c64 "Giana Sisters" tune:]
Haaach, da war die Welt halt noch in Ordnung!

Remember, never ask a geek "why";
           just nod your head and back away slowly...

The thought of implementing something like text and binary modes for
files is a about a frightening for todays kernel developer's as a mouse
to a women in a typical movie of the 50's ;-)


    It may be real, but it's icky.  It's too traditional Unix ``I don't
    care if we lose 90% of our market base to NT if our competitor loses
    95% of THEIR market base!'' to be palatable.

david parsons

["some time ago on p5p"]
>  ($host) = gethostbyname('localhost');

>Sadly most UNIX boxes don't add a sane alias to their /etc/hosts file
>so that trick is not portable.

    % grep localhost /etc/hosts   localhost


["some time ago on p5p"]
On Mon, Feb 07, 2000 at 03:22:05PM -0700, Tom Christiansen wrote:
> >But given that most slip drivers I have seen for OS/2 do not do this,
> >the question is moot.
> I'll send you a free Unix system.

Thanks, the doors in my house are well-balanced.  ;-)


[Elliott H Mitchell on the reiserfs list]
> Me thinks if unwillingness to use tar over dump will stop you from
> using a better filesystem there will be lots of other reasons that
> will stop you from trying anything new too.  So it is not really worth
> trying.

Yeah, if a filesystem randomly lost files and the authors had no plans to
fix it, that would kind discourage one from using it...

[Russel Coker on the reiserfs list]
... my old Thinkpad 380XD (Pentium-233 with 3.2G ide hard drive) running
ReiserFS and exporting the file system over 10baseT Ethernet could
outperform local hard drives on an AIX machine running JFS.

[Peter Mattis, author of GIMP]
I can't say anything about Rasterman because I've never looked at any of
his code. My only comment about Raster is that he should learn to spell.

[David Schwartz on linux-kernel]
> ORBS does not do ANYTHING above try to send few LEGAL
> strings to mailservers with LONG delays. So if you block ORBS you deserve
> blocking :-)

        That's not the point. The point is that ORBS claims to be a list of
validated open mail relays, and it's not. It's not supposed to be a list of
people who deserve anything in particular. I'm sure if you talk to the
people who have chosen to block ORBS, you will find that they have their


[WDR, 19991216 Fernsehen mit Manuel]
Es ist ein Fall bekannt, bei dem sich ein Patient über ein Jahr lang
geweigert hatte, auf die Toilette zu gehen.  Dann haben seine Verwandten
und Ärzte ihn dazu überreden können, endlich die Toilette aufzusuchen.  Er
hat dabei auf einmal 37 Liter entleert.

Danach lebte er noch ganz normal einige Jahre, bis er, wie in Amerika
üblich, erschossen wurde.

> - My Maxtor 27G drive ends up in PIO mode (non-SMP system, but likely
> Last time I reported this, I had a WDC31600, as hda, and the maxtor as

You committed a mortal sin in ATA............
You never ever mix WD and Maxtor..........on day I will document why.
Basically these two vendors have timings that are completely incompatable
with each other on the same channel.

IMHO, WD is crap..........however, you may split the two pieces of
hardware and they will work fine under linux and all other OS's.

This rule of "never ever mix WD and Maxtor" is OS independent.

"Nur eine tote Festplatte ist eine sichere Festplatte."

Physicists write FORTRAN in any language.

[OpenBOOT 3.10.6 response to pressing "Ctrl-Alt-Del":]
ANY word at all is a candidate.
USE words to see the entire dictionary.

[SDF for POD Users]
... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - even Lisp has it's fans. :-)

<Xach> schmorp: i haven't been doing any gimpy things lately
<schmorp> xach: well, who is doing gimpy things lately :(
<Xach> schmorp: Mitch
<schmorp> xach: ok.
<Xach> schmorp: you are not keeping pace with the other germans
<Xach> schmorp: you must work more diligently! FOCUS!! DON'T TALK!!
<Xach> burrito, focus
<Burrito> FOCUS you BABOON!

[Paul Miller]
... I find Knuth's attitude to be far more logical: "Be careful about
using the following code -- I've only proven that it works, I haven't
tested it." ...

Intel Inside -- Idiot Outside!

Newsgroups: comp.lang.forth

Bart Lateur wrote in message <>...
>Petrus Prawirodidjojo wrote:
>>So we must compete with Windows CE.
>"Please wait while your Toaster shuts down."
>"My microwave oven hangs, I have to reboot."
>No thank you. :-) I don't think Microsoft somehow can "automatically" be
>the most obvious choice as a supplier of system software for embedded

Quite so.  Windows CE is rapidly losing what small market share they once

Neal Bridges

On 27 Nov 1999, sanjay Kumar wrote:

> Hi folks,
>  i got some problem in using linux.When segmentation fault happens four five times continously OS is not working properly,insted of I remove the core dump and core dump bug ,Why?
> please reply to
> and

  Parse error.


From: Richard Earnshaw <>

> Why do we really need to support compiling with -ansi when
> including a non-ANSI header file in a C program?

Because some vendors wouldn't recognize a C standard it if hit them.  The
amount of code that purports to be ANSI C code, but is in fact nothing of
the sort, has to be seen to be believed.

That doesn't mean that I don't want *my* program to be clean ANSI C.

[one of the few good us movies]
Talk Radio  Mediendrama - USA - 1988 - Regie: Oliver Stone * Sein Zynismus wird dem Radiomoderator Barry zum Verhängnis.

[guess the language AND the language revision ;)]
ii = 44;
p = &ii;
*p = ii/*p;
ii++;   /* Don't forget to increment ii. */
printf ( "ii = %d\n", *p );

> But many systems set the RTC while running Win*ooze. That will affect
> Linux time then.

Here is another microsoft Innovation (TM):

They now allow you to run your BIOS-clock in UTC! (Just like
Linux. Woops. Just gave it away...)


<Tommer> schmorp, for the next trick, do <frameset> <frame src=dataurl:> <frame src=dataurl:> </frameset> :)

auto accident;
register voters;
static electricity;
struct by_lightning;
void *where_prohibited;
char broiled;
short circuit;
short changed;
long johns;
unsigned long letter;
double entendre;
double trouble;
union organizer;
float valve;
short pants;
union station;
void check; unsigned check;
struct dumb by[sizeof member];

[I like TV Movie's nexTView comments]
22:40-00:05 (21) ( -34) ARD        Mord auf hoher See Inflammable Thriller - USA
                                   - 1995 - Regie: Peter Werner * Stephen King
                                   verhunzt als Regisseur sein Buch im großen Stil.

Carmen Lucia Tancredo Borges wrote:

I have a program written in Fortran that runs on an IBM RS/6000

I wrote
> I hope not.    chomp() should match the string in $?, no more or less.

Damn shift key.

Mike Guy

   The term "spam" as it is used to denote mass unsolicited mailings or
   netnews postings is derived from a Monty Python sketch set in a
   movie/tv studio cafeteria.  During that sketch, the word "spam" takes
   over each item offered on the menu until the entire dialogue consists
   of nothing but "spam spam spam spam spam spam and spam."  This so
   closely resembles what happens when mass unsolicited mail and posts
   take over mailing lists and netnews groups that the term has been
   pushed into common usage in the Internet community.

[CRYPTO-GRAM, November 15, 1999]

    The Doghouse:  Microsoft Windows CE

Microsoft encrypts your Windows NT password when stored on a Windows CE
device.  But if you look carefully at their encryption algorithm, they
simply XOR the password with "susageP", Pegasus spelled backwards.  Pegasus
is the code name of Windows CE.  This is so pathetic it's staggering.

: Isn't the point that (void)'grep EXPR, LIST' is now better written as
: 'EXPR for LIST'? Or am I misunderstanding your point here?

It really doesn't bother me if people want to use grep or map in a void
context.  It didn't bother me before there was a for modifier, and
now that there is one, it still doesn't bother me.  I'm just not very
easy to bother.

The argument against using an operator for other than its primary
purpose strikes me the same as the old argument that you shouldn't have
sex for other than procreational purposes.  Sometimes side effects
are more enjoyable than the originally intended effect.

That being said, I'd never grep someone in a void context myself.


[that one's only for insiders...]
> : BASE @ .              \ = 10, verified original base was restored
Yeah.  :-)

> Old Antactic Explorers Penguin Recipe:
> Start fire under pot, raise seawater to boiling point.

Since it is very difficult to find wood on Antarctica, typically
penguins are used to light the fire (due to their fat, they burn well).
I also woudln't use any water, the penguins are fried fine in their own
fat (you can use old fat to heat up the pot for another penguin).

Note that most people in Antarctica have been seal-slayers and
whale-killers, so they were rough people. Usually, they didn't bother
with killing the penguins before setting them on fire. I'm glad this
receipts aren't used anymore.

Sie muessen einen PC nicht einschalten um herauszufinden ob Windows
installiert ist.  Sehen Sie einfach nach, ob die Aufschrift auf der
Reset-Taste noch lesbar ist.

> Erinnert mich an den Kerl bei mir in der Videothek. Hab mir DHY ausgeliehen
> und er sagt doch zu mir: "Ist aber mit Untertiteln." Sag ich: "Na prima!"
> Fragt er: "Wieso, was ist denn daran so interessant, wenn man nichts
> versteht?"

Bei meiner Videothek fliegt ein "Ghost in the Shell" Tape
"Ab18" rum. Das machte mich irgendwie stutzig weil auf
der Schachtel meiner 16er zwei Szenenfotos sind, die im
Film gar nicht vorkommen (ironischer Weise direkt über
dem "Uncut & Unzesored" Schildchen). Andererseits ist
mir völlig schleierhaft, was es bei dem Filmchen zu zensieren
geben soll. Nur die oben beschriebene Feststellung hat diese
Frage erneut aufgeworfen.

I do worry about syntactic clutter, ever since my daughter came
in, looked over my shoulder, and said, "What is that, swearing?"
[Larry Wall]

Der letzte untergegangene altisraelitische Stamm war der der
             - Norbert Marzahn am 15.8.98 in

> > Aber die Theorien, die Norbert aufstellt, ueber zum Beispiel die
> > gegossenen Steinformen, die sich hochdruecken, den fuerchterlichen
> > Kometen, der im vergangenen August die Erde zerstoert hat und solche
> > Sachen find ich wirklich Klasse ;-)
> Jau. Und erstmal seine Erklärungsversuche, wenn's mal wieder nichts
> geworden ist (wo bleibt eigentlich der Planet X, der während der
> Syonnenfinsternis auftauchen sollte?)...

Drei Tage Dunkelheit und viele Trümmerteile sollte er bringen, gell,

Norbert Marzahn sagt: Ich besitze die Mittel, um
"Rechts"- und "Links"-Radikalismus auszuloeschen.

<Xach> "We may not get it right, but boy are we fast!"

Subject: GNU compiler
From: "Steve"
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 19:05:03 -0400
To: <>
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.3155.0

[the following was a single line, of course]
I downloaded the compiler and am trying to install it and the
instructions seem to be very complicated.  Can you help me understand
how to install them?  There is no setup file and I have downloaded from
several sites in the thought that I might have the wrong version.  Your
assistance would be greatly appreciated



[an "I am doing high end graphic design" type of person:]
> Also, could someone tell me how to calculate DPI of an image? I have not
> managed to figure this DPI system out, for example, if an image is a
> 100?50 pixels, what's the DPI??

<tigert> xachbot, op
<XachBot> tigert: I have an 88 magnum. It shoots through schools.
<tigert> ahem

<tc> xachbot, acro FOOBAR
-XachBot:#gimp- FOOBAR: FTP Operation Over Big Address Records | See FUBAR [Net jargon] (cached)
<tc> just when you thought you had something to baffle xachbot

[the release of perl 5.000]
Date: Mon, 17 Oct 94 16:48:04 -0700
From: Larry Wall <>
Subject: It's soup.

Okay, it's there.

The first one who tells me about a bug in it gets shot.


l33+ h4X0rz

# A random text generator using Markov chains
perl -e 'while(<>){$f.= $_}@l=split(/\s+/, $f);for($i=0;$i<@l-1;$i++){$W{$l[$i]
}.=" ".$l[$i+1];}sub a{$w=$l[1]}&a;sub b{print "\n"}while($w){if(!($W{$w})){&b;
&b;&a;last if ($q++>3);}print"$w ";@p=split(/ /,$W{$w});$c=@p;until($s=int(rand
($c))){1}$w=$p[$s]}&b' big_text_file

> && d'oh! i knew that! can she allow her lusers to use deja? here is the url
> && for the post with the whole description of how i used -P
> Well, access to deja isn't forbidden, but access to the keyboard is.
> And there's no mouse.
> Abigail

Wow. Someone else who reads usenet by osmosis... cool.


Ok, our threads aren't so bad.  Python's have one big
giant global interpreter lock. :-)

- --tom

From: Linus Torvalds <>
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 1999 11:42:19 -0700 (PDT)

On Fri, 6 Aug 1999, Hubert Mantel wrote:
> So the huge ISDN update in proposed-2.2.11 will be removed from the final
> 2.2.11 release?

[ Irritated mode: FULL BLAST ]

Are you being stupid on purpose, or were you born that way?

Go back and read the thread. Read why I'm irritated. READ. THINK.

Understanding is a three edged sword. Do you *want* to get the point?

["MVS uses quite heavy algorithms for swapping"]
On Mon, Aug 02, 1999 at 07:55:32PM +0200, Lieven Marchand wrote:
> Last time I looked at it, it got to the point they had moved some
> ASSISTs into microcode. IIRC, some manipulations of the process
> block. I doubt Intel/Sun/MIPS/IBM is going to accomodate Linux quite
> that much ;-)

IBM is really really good on process technology. They have had to be.

MVS spends a lot of time running OS algorithms to allow full
preemption that Linux wastes on running user applications.

[comments on the gcc-2.95 release]
I'm having problems compiling it for HP-UX 10.20. Any ideas?

(I haven't actually finished downloading it yet, but I just know I'm
 gonna have problems with this crappy OS ;-)

The Internet interprets Windows as damage,
             and routes around it.

Roger Larsson

[configuring gcc]
Noone should use --prefix=/usr without --with-local-prefix=/usr/local

'You can solve any programming problem with another level of indirection,
except the problem of too many levels of indirection.'


Z-code interpreters have also been written in Java; unfortunately, when it
comes to cross-platform compatibility, Java's user-interface classes are
finicky and unstable--just ask anyone who's tried to reason with the AWT
on different JVMs.

[and later]

Pilfer is a practical implementation of two of the cardinal rules of
adventure gaming:

1.Anything that is not nailed down is mine.
2.Anything that I can pry loose is not nailed down.

[the ||-operator can be thought of as "or", && can be thought of as
"and", but how would you call the ??-operator?]

>>>>> "NK" == Nathan Kurz <> writes:

NK> ?? -> huh?

That's a great name. The huh? operator.


`One of the reasons we continue to use Fortran is that it's easier to fix
code written without attention to such details in Fortran than in other
languages.  To put it another way, Fortran is the only language where
people who barely get by with their numerical skills can "write useful
numerical code."  Many times those people are the only experts in their
specialty available to put a needed procedure into practice.'

[Moderator der Sending "Teatime" auf "Radio Okerwelle", 1999-07-12]
Ich muß schließlich hören was ich sage, damit ich weiß, was ich denke.

[Dr. Dobbs #8, 1999, describing how you can AVOID downloading or executing
Java applets, scripts and ActiveX controls while _parsing_(!) an html
... you must utilize IOleControl::OnAmbientPropertyChange with the
value DISPID_AMBIENT_DLCONTROL. Before you can do this, however, you
must call IOleObject::SetClientSite so that IOleControl will work
properly. This is the reason you derive from IOleClientSite, even
though you don't extend its functionality in any way. After the call to
OnAmbientPropertyChange, IE4 will call your Invoke method to check the
value of DISPID_AMBIENT_DLCONTROL. Invoke simply sets the correct bits to
disable the behaviour you don't want and returns NOERROR.
[Still interested in knowing how you can disable the "file not found"
dialog box that will pop up when you try to parse a non-accessible file?]

[Linus, whom I quote rarely ;-]
Message passing as the fundamental operation of the OS is just an
excercise in computer science masturbation.  It may feel good, but you
don't actually get anything DONE.

Advantages of Windows NT over Linux:
 * It's easier to explain the crash was not your fault.
 * You've to remember only one solution all to your problems: Reboot.
 * You can use your mouse to type an email-message.

> 1)  On the PIII, there is the capability to get a system unique serial
> number from the CPU.  Does Linux read this data already?  Is there plans to
> read the serial number and then disable the capability (maybe so you could
> get the serial number from the OS)?

Current Linux disables it and doesn't save the value.

[CRYPTO-GRAM 1999-06-15]
"Microsoft set the security state-of-the-art back 25 years with DOS, and
they have continued that legacy to this day."

[From "The Elements Of Style: UNIX As Literature", by Thomas Scoville]
"In a world increasingly dominated by image culture (TV, movies, .jpg
files), UNIX remains rooted in the culture of the word."

> If it is clearly documented that will not happen.

Yeah, sure.  Unfortunately, if the "correct" treatment of this feature
means to change a dozen source files (and rth's comments make me fear
that that's the case), the chance that someone, somewhere forgets to say
exactly why these changes were necessary (and on what other changes in
other files they depend) is far larger than I want to consider.  We've
seen this before.  Lucky we are that some long time gcc-hackers are
still among us, who might remark:  Oh yes, that's undefined by the C
Standard, but it happens to be an extension gcc supports ...  Seen that,
got the T-shirt.

Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
From: Joe Buck <jbuck@Synopsys.COM>
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 99 10:00:16 PDT
To: (Linus Torvalds)
Cc:, jbuck@Synopsys.COM,,,,
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]

Linus writes, to Craig:

> I haven't maintained a compiler long-term. I _have_ maintained a larger,
> and arguably mode complex system with many more degrees of freedom and
> thus choices than gcc.

No, gcc is substantially larger than the Linux kernel (on the order of 10x
larger, as anyone can easily verify).  gcc does not need to deal with race
conditions, so in that sense it is simpler, but in other respects it is
far more complex than the kernel.

[NOTE for the reader: this is not really true, as the device drivers
bomb the comparison away, but the complexity argument still holds]

[ personal insults deleted, perhaps the author is in need of a vacation ]

Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?

>I want the _user_ to be able to give input.
>I happen to think that the "explicit cast invalidates the alias
>information" rule is the simplest and best one, and gives the user the
>best control without adding things like new attributes or other ways to
>let the user be in control.

In other words, you believe you are a better language designer than
the ISO C people as well as the gcc maintainers, despite the fact
that you know, what, *nothing* about language design, and *nothing*
about compiler design and, especially, long-term maintenance of

Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
From: Joe Buck <jbuck@Synopsys.COM>

Linus writes:
> Oh, you don't expect me to complain about bad code generation when I know
> gcc could do better?

Oh, don't worry, we expect you to complain, and in a rude and insulting
matter at that.  We're used to it.  It seems that you were a nicer guy
before you had so many worshippers.

Subject: Re: Linux and aliasing?
From: Branko Cibej <>
Date: Fri, 04 Jun 1999 10:07:09 +0200
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.6 [en] (WinNT; I)

Linus Torvalds wrote:

> I think it's a damn shame that instead of technical arguments _everything_
> revolves around people reading the standard as if it was the bible, and
> trying to make people feel guilty for not really caring. It's not a sin to
> just want to get good code without having to do magic contortions, guys.

Why, Linus, it's trivial to do! Use MSVC instead of egcs, then you can do

     #pragma optimize("a", on/off)

around every single statement, if you like. It even supports anonymous unions
_and_ structs, and is only slightly influenced by the ISO C standard.

They'll even sell you a version that can generate code for the alpha!



P.S.: Just for the record: I, a "real user" and (imnsho) a "clever programmer"
who "know what I'm doing", at least most of the time, and who do not "read the
standard as if it were a bible", vote for having a standard-conforming
compiler that's not bloated by a ton of marginally useful (or even useless)
features. If I want featuritis, I know where I can get it.

P.P.S: They can't even spell "optimise" ...

You can have it Soon, Cheap, and Working; choose *two*

"Scientific" studies have found that a 2.2.x Linux router with
fast-switching enabled, using Tulip 100baseT cards, can melt a
high-end Cisco's 100baseT interfaces.

1) Thread switching is faster than process switching by a little bit on Linux
2) Process switching on linux is faster than thread switching on NT
3) Almost anything is faster than process switching on NT

[gimp-developers, on the use of keyboard modifiers for drawing tools]

> Simple.  Powerful.  Fast.  Choose at most two.

Perhaps this should be an option in the preferences dialog? :)

[perl is cryptic??]
Subject: @{$${->{{{{~{}~{{{NO CARRIER
From: Jarkko Hietaniemi <>
Date: Mon, 24 May 1999 21:55:37 +0300 (EET DST)

We have still a long way to go-- from the zsh-workers mailing list:

: Just thought of a trivial way to take a lot of grief out of parameter
: substitution.  This patch makes the following valid:
:   ${${${${(f)"$(typeset)"}:#*local *\=*}%%\=*}##* }
: replacing the equivalent but grotesquer
:   "${(@)${(@)${(@)${(@f)$(typeset)}:#*local *\=*}%%\=*}##* }"

Long noun chains don't automatically imply security. - Bruce Schneier

> |> Spoken as a true C programmer.  However you are wrong.  Case-preserving, but
> |> insensitive, is the CORRECT way for file systems.  Capitalization should not
> |> matter for interpretation of a file name just as it doesn't matter for
> |> interpreting words in any human language.
> This is wrong.  In German, there is a big difference between "paar" und
> "Paar" (the first meaning "a few", the second "pair").

The classic example:

"Ich habe liebe Genossen in Moskau" - I've got dead comreds in Moscow.
"Ich habe Liebe genossen in Moskau" - I enjoyed love in Moscow.

[do we need oo-style IO::File class in perl?]
>_You_ aren't gonna code "use IO::File".

And there's no reason for anyone else to, either, especially
once Nick finishes the Larry-blessed autovivification of
lvaluabled undefs in open(), socket(), etc.

What's next, a String class for Perl?


[some example of the kind of mail I sometimes receive:]
i was just trying to help u out not hurt you in anyway ok i have the fbi
working on something for me
u havent done anything to me ok and the sherriffs department came by to talk
to me nutting concerning y ok

[From "Basic Information about Unix", common commands:]

pico (text editor for beginners)
vi (text editor for advanced users)
emacs (text editor for advanced users)
ed (text editor for beginners)

There is no reason in principle that a Perl script shouldn't start with

    use Python;

and appear to work exactly like Python from there to the end of the file.
Except maybe faster.  :-)


> Perl6 gives us an opportunity to re-examine every feature at a microscopic level.

just what I'm afraid of... I thought this was to be Perl6, not Perl

(Perl 2010: The Spaced Oddity?)

The X.25 specification is not a particularly easy document to
read. Contrary to expectations, it does not make great use of diagrams
and tables that help to explain the workings of the protocols that
it contains. Instead the document makes use of many ambiguous English
descriptions of the actions that should take place, allied with a complete
lack of fluency in its prose descriptions, make for a very confusing
document. It is a wonder that any correct X.25 implementations have ever
been created.

>  Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.
>  Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be
>  $3.99.
>  Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke.
>  Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.
>  Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!
>  Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.
>  Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?
>  Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's
>  got integrated Coke!
>  Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going
>  to drink the Coke.
>  Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.
>  Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.
>  Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally
>  inseparable.
>  Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things!
>  Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?
>  Joe: Why did you just do that?!
>  Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with
>  two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a
>  continuous taste across all your foods.

        Threads are like salt.  I like salt, you like salt, we all
        like salt, but we eat more pasta than salt.
                                                          Rob Pike

From: Nathan Torkington <>

  Don't be bitten by Perl, get crushed by Python.
  Python: Perl for the punctuation-phobic.
  It takes 4 days for a python to digest a hamster, but only 2 days
     for you to digest this book.
  Python: it's really better but nobody uses it.
  Python: just for the whitespace of it.
  Join The Trickle
  Python: more popular than Dylan!
  Python: not written by crackheads in a gutter!
  Are you uptight?  Try our new Python Hangups series.

Well Microsoft announced this new language called COOL which I can
honestly say that I have seen NO CRAPPY CODE written in.  OTOH it appears
that to achieve this miraculous status by the simple technique of being
complete and utter vapourware.

Microsoft, taking the Business out of COBOL.

[From "Programming Perl"]

   We will encourage you to develop the three great virtues of a
   programmer: laziness, impatience and hubris

[Alexander Stepanov, creator of the STL]:

Yes. STL is not object oriented. I think that object orientedness is
almost as much of a hoax as Artificial Intelligence. I have yet to
see an interesting piece of code that comes from these OO people. In
a sense, I am unfair to AI: I learned a lot of stuff from the MIT AI
Lab crowd, they have done some really fundamental work: Bill Gosper's
Hakmem is one of the best things for a programmer to read. AI might
not have had a serious foundation, but it produced Gosper and Stallman
(Emacs), Moses (Macsyma) and Sussman (Scheme, together with Guy Steele). I
find OOP technically unsound. It attempts to decompose the world in
terms of interfaces that vary on a single type. To deal with the real
problems you need multisorted algebras - families of interfaces that
span multiple types. I find OOP philosophically unsound. It claims that
everything is an object. Even if it is true it is not very interesting -
saying that everything is an object is saying nothing at all. I find OOP
methodologically wrong. It starts with classes. It is as if mathematicians
would start with axioms. You do not start with axioms - you start with
proofs. Only when you have found a bunch of related proofs, can you
come up with axioms. You end with axioms. The same thing is true in
programming: you have to start with interesting algorithms. Only when you
understand them well, can you come up with an interface that will let them
You can't write a generic max() in Java that takes two arguments of some
type and has a return value of that same type. Inheritance and interfaces
don't help. And if they cannot implement max or swap or linear search,
what chances do they have to implement really complex stuff? These are my
litmus tests: if a language allows me to implement max and swap and linear
search generically - then it has some potential.
[...] Java is clearly an example of a money oriented programming (MOP).
It might be successful - after all, MS DOS was - and it might be a
profitable thing for all your readers to learn Java, but it has no
intellectual value whatsoever.

[Later, on OMG protocols like CORBA]
I am old enough to remember all the networking standards that were coming
out in the seventies. Who remembers them now?

[Stiftung Warentest "test", WDR 19990419:]
"Schlechtes muß nicht billig sein..."

[/bin/false on solaris]
#       Copyright (c) 1984, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989 AT&T
#         All Rights Reserved

#       The copyright notice above does not evidence any
#       actual or intended publication of such source code.

#ident  "@(#)   1.6     93/01/11 SMI"   /* SVr4.0 1.3   */
[obvious invocation of exit snipped to avoid lawsuit. Yup, *1* line.]

<Aspirin> but ee uses imlib, and imlib is documented to take 4.7 days to start up on a 486 by Alan Cox.

When a tar built for SunOS runs under Solaris, it's incapable of opening
or creating files with "lib/locale" in the path.  It replaces that part of
the path with "lib/oldlocale".

[Bruce Schneier in CRYPTO-GRAM, 19990315]

"Microsoft prefers to treat security holes as a public relations problem,
rather than fixing the actual problem."

[further down: the official answer from Microsoft about a problem where
just viewing a website would invisibly run unrestricted code on your

"Microsoft appreciates your input regarding this issue, however in lieu
of modern technology being what it is, we all need to be personally
responsible for knowing what we are downloading off the internet."


[Steve Funston wrote to me, after I unsubscribed him from gimp-perl for

>fuck you ass hole duh you are just a big fucker
>>An error was generated by your request to our servers:
>>Your Email:
>>ERROR:  You are not a member of this list.

[and later, misquoting my name:]
>mark is not only a big fat liar but he is an ass hole.

[How much of the microsoft shares does Bill Gates hold?]
He has 19.8%.  Paul Allen has 5.5%.  Steve Ballmer has 4.7%.

> And what's wrong with being named Peter?
If linus was peter, Linux would be called penix? (just guessing) ;)

According to Microsoft KnowledgeBase article Q216641, Microsoft Windows
95/98 are limited to an uptime of *exactly* 49.7 days.

                                    --found by Vincent Janelle (Random)

> Leave that to RMS.

If you had just sat through the horrific panel with Larry,
RMS, Richard, and Linus, you would want to leave a whole lot
else to RMS -- like  a couple of  megatons of the manure that
he's full of.

Support BSD/Linux.


    "The FSF is a cult -- don't support them." --Rob Pike

We are Linux. Resistance is an indication that you missed the point.

> Perhaps the cracker himself (itself? ;) isn't bright enough to delete shell
> history, but his shrink-wrapped cracking tools might be a lot brighter...

Some of them are. A surprising number aren't. A personal favorite of
mine was the log from a cracker who couldn't figure out how to untar
and install the trojan package he'd ftped onto the machine. he tried a
few times, and then eventually gave up and logged out.

[on channel #gimp]

[msg(Xachbot)] insult me
[XachBot(] schmorp: David Miller would never approve of that.

[the creation]


This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of
an "S" in its character set; users must substitute "TH".  LITHP is said
to be useful in protheththing lithtth.

Ich zog hier nur einen Pseudoschluss aus dieser sache, den ich nicht
selbst schliesse.
                    Norbert Harry Marzahn, selbsternannter "Judaaer"
                    am 13.12.98 in de.alt.ufo

According to Gurusamy Sarathy:
> "Resistance is futile, you will be modularized."


     use Borg;
     make_threat(-type => 'standard', -doom => 'modularized');

Chip Salzenberg      - a.k.a. -      <>

"And over here, ladies and gentlemen, may I draw your attention to
the 'posicks box', a mechanism within one of the late 20th century
sub-I hardware gestalt integration agents (then called 'operating
systems', this particular one being referred to as 'windows' by
its commercial-mimetic sustainer), designed so as to provide the
appearance and functionality required to comply with one of the few
agreed-upon integration schemas (sub-I, of course) available at the
time. Unsurprising given the non-integration imperitives used by the
agent's sustainter, this mechanism was demonstrated to be an ingenious
non-integration ploy that, while supporting the integration schema,
failed to support the local interconnect schemas that this agent
specialized in. This produced a classic focus rift in the knowledge
pool, benefiting the sustainer in the short run due to the focus
concentration facilities available to commericial-class mimetic
sustainers. Practically, this wasn't a significant loss, in the long
run, as neither the 'windows' or 'posicks' schemas were relevant to
modern quasi-I agents. These two do live on, however, in a few niches.
'posicks' is used as the integration schema between most nano-scale
logic units (a fact that only a few meta-experts still need to be
aware of), and 'windows' survives, for religious-mimetic reasons, as
the human-communication agent in a few stereotypical toasters and soap

[Kenneth Albanowski]

Perl ist ein Schmerzmittel.
Wenn Du bei der Speicherverwaltung oder der Stringverarbeitung
unter C Schmerzen hast, nimm Perl.
-- Kristian Koehntopp

> Why Windows NT Server 4.0 continues to exist in the enterprise would be a
> topic appropriate for an investigative report in the field of psychology or
> marketing, not an article on information technology -- John Kirch

[bei einer mündlichen Nachprüfung in BWL, Uni Hamburg]

Prof: "Was ist Agio?"
Student: "Weiß ich nicht."
Prof: "OK, durchgefallen!
Student: "Ich habe aber Anspruch auf drei Fragen in der mündlichen Prüfung!"
Prof: "Klar, was ist Disagio?"
Student: "..."
Prof: "...und was ist der Unterschied zwischen Agio und Disagio?"
Student: "..."
Prof: "...durchgefallen!"

Chaim Frenkel <> writes:

> Just morbid curiosity,
> Are there _any_ unix boxes that _can't_ build Perl?

Yes.  Broken ones.


"The kerastion is a musical instrument which cannot be heard."
  -- A Borges story in ten words.

"C combines the power of assembly language
with the flexibility of assembly language."



Me too!



ping -p 2b2b2b415448300d <hostname>


From: Dick Balaska <>

I sit behind an NT dual P2/400 256MB for too many hours each day.  It is
"slow".  One of my (fun) tasks is CD mastering.  When i'm loading a 500MB
wav file into the editor, the machine goes useless for two minutes while
loading the wave file.  Basically its just reading the file and writing it
to swap.  The CPU is at 5%.  No Alt-Tab between apps during that time.  No
chance of putting the mouse over a button (too many dropped ticks).  The
NT kernel is just sitting waiting for I/O completions.

Linux would be embarrassed to be that bad.

I expected M$ to never fix this because its not "broken".  However, i
expect billg to start reading the above mentioned literal benchmarks and
get really really pissed.

Especially since i believe 1999 and 2000 to see Linux *really* start
to cut into M$'s server market share.

> Hello I'm wondering if there's a lower traffic mailing list that exists
> that's strictly important kernel announcements and not general chat. I
> need to stay informed but I can't handle 250 messages in a 24 hour
> period.
> Sorry for the insignificant post..
> Nic

Thank you for contributing to the problem.


grep... grep... grep... (frog with unix stuck in his throat)

"If users are made to understand that the system administrator's job is to
make computers run, and not to make them happy, they can, in fact, be made
happy most of the time. If users are allowed to believe that the system
administrator's job is to make them happy, they can, in fact, never be made
- - -Paul Evans (as quoted by Barb Dijker in "Managing Support Staff", LISA '97)

From: "Daniel P. Stasinski" <dannys@KAREMOR.COM>
Subject:      Microsoft Hotmail

I contacted Microsoft/Hotmail asking them to close the account
of that was listed in the backdoored tcp wrapper source code.
I also forwarded the offending code.

The word back from them is that they will not close it.  Theft
of passwords and hacking does not violate thier terms of


Any UNIX-killer must also have:
* cool name like Linux (serious, these fail: GNU Hurd FreeBSD 386BSD)

"Not all things worth doing are worth doing well."
It's a phrase I use a lot. :-)

As John Whittaker says: ``It's UNIX. That doesn't necessarily mean it's

[Richard Stallman on the new _Pragma operator in C9X:]

Amazing--they actually listened.

That "UNIX" term is very negative. People often associate it with
SCO OpenServer, Wyse terminals, and 60 people on a 386. The UNIX
that people know is just awful. It looks something like this:

# less foo
sh: command not found
# more foo
sh: command not found
# emacs foo
sh: command not found
# ed foo

[Albert D. Cahalan]

Subject: Re: Stop blib warning in future releases?
From: (Andreas J. Koenig)
Date: 05 Jan 1999 03:15:37 +0100

tim> Sure. Strictly speaking

tim>    use blib ':quiet';

tim> would be most correct in style.

Only German native speakers are allowed to treat adverbs adjectively.
For the rest I'd recommend [...]

[A new U.S. Law implementing a WIPO treaty]
No person shall circumvent a technological protection measure that
effectively controls access to a work protected under this title
[Or, in other words, applied cryptanalysis will be illegal.
 too bad --- ]

Microsoft - Is it going to work today?

Subject: Re: [gimp-devel] GIF plugin legal issues

> Actually, my understanding is that Unisys doesn't currently enforce the
> licensing cost on free software, but maybe I am mistaken.

The general wording, spoken by an unnamed GIMP developer, is, if you'll
pardon the language, "Unisys can go fuck itself."

[once on linux-kernel:]
> >who are you why on yahoo when iprint sf16fmi i fond you i need drv
> Does anyone have the secret decoder ring to make sense of this?
he's confused about us showing up in a search match on yahoo, but needs
driver(s) for his sf16fmi thingy.

> Did you try to compile kdeadmin from the CVS tree ?

No I ran the KDE binaries. Im not interested in broken programs that
include wrong #include files in their source.


Someday, you are going to accidentally type something like
"rm * .foo", and find you just deleted "*" instead of "*.foo".
Consider it a rite of passage.

"There's one word that strikes fear into nuclear scientists..."
       -- MST3K

Seems like 80-bit spills would be closer to IEEE, if not close enough to
claim full support.  Off-hand I'd say people would be happier with
those numeric properties than with the current situation.

I'll think about the esoterica (probably break down and ask people here).
It would certainly make gcc the most reliable x86 floating-point compiler
I know.  Sun's does something similar to -ffloat-store by default (gee,
look at how fast that ultra is), and Microsoft's runs off the end of the
stack at run-time .  I don't know what Intel's does, so I'm not considering
it.  ;)

>I was using the localtime function to change time_t into it's various
>human-readable parts.  I noticed that $year gets returned as 98 and
>not 1998.  I tested a few different unices and got the same result.
>This is expected behavior based on the examples I've seen and my own
>testing.  My question is how is this y2k compliant?

What part of your C library's documentation on localtime(3), the perlfunc
documentation on the Perl localtime function, the perlfaq4 entry on `Does
Perl have a year 2000 problem?', and the Y2K document on
did you find to be unclear on the answer to this question?


>   * Have you ever wondered how life began ?

In a laboratory somewhere at Bell Labs.

>Why does it end ?

Ask the X3J11 committee.

>   * Can you tell WHY there is life ? What is the purpose of it ?
>   * Can YOU do anything to make your life worth living ? WHAT ?


"Unix *is* Perl's IDE!"
	-- Tom Christiansen


Do you honestly think the Americans would mention a Soviet success? :-)
A number of years back I saw an exhibition in the US on the development of
supersonic passenger aircraft. They forgot to mention Concorde. It
wouldn't surprise me in the least if most people at NASA had never heard
of Sputnik.

NTFS by default adds unnecessary serialization to an extent that
even older file systems such as FFS do not, and its performance
characteristics reflect that. In fairness, it should be said that it is
the superior approach for most removable media without software control
of ejection (e.g. IBM PC floppies).

Never attribute to malice what could as well be explained by stupidity.
                                                     - Hanlons razor -

Shallit's Razor: Never attribute to conspiracy what may be adequately
explained by stupidity or incompetence.

According to Chris Nandor:
> I thought about creating a web interface to input, edit, delete entries,
> but that would have taken me longer, been more complex and less secure, and
> offered no significant advantages.

That one's in the quotes file.  Thanks.

My friend who had a Compaq called one day when his built-in cdrom drive
stopped responding. Their answer "its a virus. Reinstal Windows". So he did
(?) and it still didn't work. He called them and they said "its a virus,
reinstall." "But I just installed. If there is a virus, it came from YOUR
quick restore disk." "No, no virus there, but you DO have a virus. My paper
in front of me says so."

He took it back and bought a Gateway.

9. Deinde, ne in posterum a XII kalendas aprilis aequinoctium recedat,
statuimus bissextum quarto quoque anno (uti mos est) continuari debere,
praeterquam in centesimis annis; qui, quamvis bissextiles antea semper
fuerint, qualem etiam esse volumus annum MDC, post eum tamen qui
deinceps consequentur centesimi non omnes bissextiles sint, sed in
quadringentis quibusque annis primi quique tres centesimi sine bissexto
transigantur, quartus vero quisque centesimus bissextilis sit, ita ut
annus MDCC, MDCCC, MDCCCC bissextiles non sint. Anno vero MM, more
consueto dies bissextus intercaletur, februario dies XXIX continente,
idemque ordo intermittendi intercalandique bissextum diem in
quadringentis quibusque annis perpetuo conservetur.

You obviously have not dealt with Microsoft Winnt 4.0
and all the Service Pack then. While one Service Pack
did somewhat correct the Y2K problem was not aware that
2000 was in fact a leap year. There was no way to set
the date to Feb 29, 2000.

"Ernst Lehmann, die Organisationsredundanz beim Cluster-Treffen"

HP Computer NEWS 3/98 about HP 2000/CN printer (page 24): "Darüber
hinaus ... hat der HP 2000C/CN durch den Einsatz von Intel MMX-
Technologie Zugriff auf deren Farbtabellen und kann so Farbbilder
schneller verarbeiten" (A mistake made when translating. It's hard to
get the wrong meaning if translated back to English, sorry.)

From: Robert Lipe
> > I program computers with no screens and no keyboards for a living.
> > Switches and front-panels are a LUXURY! :-)
> But I guess you are not _programming_ these computers without a keyboard
> and/or screen.

Are you familiar with the Vulcan Mind Meld?

Subject: Re: [fwd from comp.lang.python] Re: Python 2 ideas [Re: access
From: Tuomas Lukka <>

On Tue, 24 Nov 1998, Ilya Zakharevich wrote:
>      use pedantic;
>      use strict 'code';
> or whatever is the syntax to switch Perl into 'dull'/'pythonish' mode.

use syntax 'python';

Let's just embrace&extend'em ;) ;)

Thus it was written in the epistle of Larry Wall,
> Having discussed all this thoroughly at the Hacker's Conference this
> past weekend, I've come to the conclusion that Y2K will be traumatic
> primarily because people *think* it will be traumatic.  A panic is a
> panic whether or not it's justified.  People get trampled in panics.
> It should be illegal to yell "Y2K" in a crowded economy.  :-)

Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick any two (you can't have all three).

[Alan Cox, why not port hurd to sgi, instead of linux]
> A possible minus is the message-passing between the servers which might
> be time-consuming.

"Yesterdays technology, next week" to quote an OSI saying

UNIX versions of ctags handle the C language, and often Pascal and Fortran
77. Sometimes, they even handle assembly language. Almost universally,
however, they do not handle C++...
[from "learning the vi editor"]

> correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a thread about this a few
> months back that resolved the ping -f localhost as a ping bug.

Indeed, as Alan Cox said:

        So get a non-buggy ping(8) client.

and as Ecclesiastes said:

        Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been
        already of old time, which was before us.
        There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any
        remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.


SNMP stands for Security Not My Problem

[slightly broken, though...]
/* "Hello World" in B for 64-bit hardware! */
hw [0] "Hello World.*n";
  extrn hw;

> So what comes first the chicken or the egg? :)

The egg. Always. By definition.

> > PPS: Robert, I just made my first y2k fix to that script ;()
> Better check your scsi cables.

Arroganz durch Wissen
[Dirk Jagdmann]

[Re: Pegasus - Gut oder Boese?]
> Weil er sie dabei ja unterstuetzt. Da er aber (abgesehen von den ersten
> ein- oder zweimal) nur auf Anrufen von Rosa-Girl erscheint, koennte man es
> auch anders herum sagen. wenn CU Pfeift, kommt er angaloppiert 8))

was aber leider bedeutet, daß usa die Rennsemmel ständig mit
sich rumschleppen mu?. ^_-
Nur weil die Kleine die Bimmel hat!

Und wer weiß, was dieses pädophile Pferd eigentlich noch so
bezwecken will...  ^_-

>James :\
>I apologize for adding a message to this possibly trivial thread.

I like your sig.  I hope you use it for everything you post.

From: Mason <>
Subject: night of the undead ip stack
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1998 13:03:19 -0600 (CST)

> The person who decides to invent UNICODE support for Linux
> is just asking for a black eye.

But Unicode for NT is such fun!

For example, the checked DbgPrint() bluescreens above DISPATCH_LEVEL
if you try to print a Unicode string--the Unicode->ASCII
translation tables are marked as pageable.

Since as far as I know, printk() does not have any format specifiers
that cause obscure kernel panics, Linux is clearly behind in this

Linux: a no problem operating system for no problem people.
[Lukas Grunwald]


[a comment on]
Forget GNU/Linux.  /PerL/inux will conquer all.

   kill 0,1 if -x '/PerL/inux';         # request kernel mode

[Tim Hollebeek on real arithmetic]
On a machine with a sane floating point model, the results make sense.
For example, my SGI workstation prints:

0.00000000000000011102 1.00000000000000000000 1.00000000000000020000 1.00000000000000040000

However, a machine with the Intel FPU from hell gives:

0.00000000000000000005 1.00000000000000000000 1.00000000000000000000 1.00000000000000000000

due to the fact that whether 1+x and 1 are the same number depends on whether
the numbers are in the FPU or not.

[Grüner Tip/Arte]
Ihre Nachbarn sind zu laut und feiern andauernd Parties? Kein Problem, ihr
Bohrer wird nachts um zwei spielend mit _jedem_ Lärm fertig....

Remember, eating healthy doesn't make you live longer, it just makes it seem

[M$ about unix development tools like GCC]
By the standards of the novice / intermediate developer accustomed to
VB/VS/VC/VJ, these tools are incredibly primitive.

> > Praha is nice and our university is interesting, since it is according
> > to tests most complex and impractical computer science university on the
> > world :) I just love it...
> Oh well, great that I won't be studying there...
It is really fun.... just now I have lesson (that reminds me that I really
should go now) about set theory and infinity... it is really fun and very
for example that you have cinema with infinity chairs and infinity plus one
person wants to see movie... what do yo do?
Just let sit down the first infinity persons and then last person ask first
one to move to second chair, second one to move to third and so on and
everyone fits.. isn't that great to know? :))

Jan Hubicka

>       template< template< template<class> class > class Tmpl> A {};
> I think that this construction is allowed by the ANSI C++.

No, it is not. What you meant is

template< template< template<class> class > class Tmpl> class A {};

Jan Dubois writes:
> A) perl-5.00553
>       path        = \perl\5.00553\bin\MsWin32-x86\perl.exe
>       cc          = cl.exe
A performance analysis compiling with M$ compiler?  Get real!



>Shouldn't the kernel compile with all combinations of options.

Yes.  Feel free to fix it and send a patch.


Jean-Louis provides four arguments in favor of the overloading of the
logical && and || operators.  Here they are:

| Other languages, notably C++, permit it. |

This one is hardly persuasive.  Many languages do innumerable things
that Perl does not do.  Just for example, take:

  * Csh reparses and re-evals interpolated strings, allowing something
    like C<$cmd $var> to do interesting things.
  * The Fortran lexer (as it were), having no need of white space to
    infer tokens, allows C<DO I=1.10> and C<DO I=1,10> to coexist in an
    interesting way.
  * Icon has an entirely different notion of success and failure,
    allowing expressions like (X < Y < Z) to do interesting things.
  * Scheme has call-with-continuation, allowing co-routines to do
    interesting things.
  * C++ has template classes with abnormal typing rules even for that
    language, allowing parameterized meta-classes to do interesting

    Make is like Pascal: everybody likes it, so they go in and change it.
                                                    --Dennis Ritchie

perl -wlpe '}{$_=$.' file  # Count the number of lines.

[not quite duff's device, but...]

  switch (x)
      if (prime(x))
        case 2: case 3: case 5: case 7:
        case 4: case 6: case 8: case 9: case 10:

        Is there any truth to the rumor that the number appearing
after the words "Microsoft Windows" is the minimum amount of memory,
in megabytes, required for execution?

                                        Craig Milo Rogers

Mark Mielke writes:
> This statement is false. The simple fact that school textbooks teach it
> to be indeterminate should be enough to convince you of that.

This is just another reference point about the state of education in
US (apparently in Canada too?).


[from p5p]
> Now you know why threading is experimental and all, buddy.

Experimental schexperimental.  Anything that doesn't cause an
immediate coredump is not experimental. :-) (Observant readers will
note that this is a more rigorous standard than Microsoft's.)


Needless to say, Linux awk is probably gawk, which has been taking too
much steroids for a while. =)

--Albert Dvornik

Subject: Re: zero width lookbehind considered slow
From: Tom Christiansen <>
Date: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 17:40:37 -0500

>*You* do not understand?  Perl is slow...

Ilya: You are formerly invited to go play in the python
or tcl crowd instead of here.


>What's it? Can linux be improved too? Or has it already been improved?

Linux has never done anything so stupid in the first place.


On the 8th day god created email. And got noted the world was good. Then the
devil added HTML mail...

linux/lib/vsprintf.c: * Wirzenius wrote this portably, Torvalds fucked it up :-)
linux/arch/sparc64/kernel/binfmt_aout32.c:         /* Fuck me plenty... */
linux/arch/sparc64/kernel/ptrace.c:/* Fuck me gently with a chainsaw... */

On 1998-10-11T02:37:57,
   Alan Cox <> said:

> Believe me Microsoft think Linux is a threat now. Its level with things like
> java in their perceived threat list, so you can expect all the usual MS
> techniques to start coming this way and very soon.

Arm the gnus!

[David Miller after (another) endless discussion with Richard Kenner]

Anyways, I tired (just like everyone else) of arguing endlessly with
you, you're in the past, you no longer constrain my ability to improve
gcc, so go away.

I received my copy of Visual Studio 6.0 today. I couldn't believe that it
wanted to install the C++ compiler into a directory called:

        "\Program Files\Microsoft Visual Studio\VC98"

But anyways, I just had to find out if it was finally possible to compile
Perl (without PERL_OBJECT) with optimization (-O2).

[on perl version numbering]
> So it could be 5.006 for the developers, but "ThreadPerl" or "Perl with
> Multithreads" (or some such) for the journalists, if that's what
> journalists need to make them pay attention.

Down that path lies "Perl version 5.006, codename `Ticklish Uvula',
was released today" madness.

[on perl version numbering]
>     elaine> 5.1 would be a good thing(tm) as it would draw attention,
>     elaine> etc. in a way that a developers versioning would. The
>     elaine> world is not populated by people who think the same
>     elaine> way. To that end, this would be a good change. Of course,
>     elaine> we could call it Perl99.
> To me, Perl seems to be recognized for it's language qualities, not
> for marketing reasons. IMHO, perl may keep this difference with other
> wintel product. More than that : Perl99, would let believe people that
> it is not Y2K proofed, or still in beta (<1.00). So it's not a good
> marketing name, anyway.

Right. Then, to be Y2K compliant, we'll have to call it Perl1999. Hmmm.
"The year perl left earth's orbit"? Maybe we need to get the NASA guys to
put perl on the next low-cost spaceshot.

Of course, then c.l.p.m's motto could be "We do not commit *mindless*
violence..." :-)

Rule 1 says that Larry says that Larry has the last say, unless he changes
his mind in which case he still has the last say.

> >I never said it did.. I should have said: Binary only drivers encourage
> >poor drivers
>      No it doesn't.

Indeed. Its down to

Profit = (units * margin) - overhead

and the folks who decide "overhead" arent the programmers but the management.
The folks who say "you have two weeks allocated to write this driver, then
we ship it" are the folks to take the issue up with, and that goes source
or binaries.

dig txt

"The fact that I'm paranoid doesn't mean that nobody's after me..."

[linux-kernel on endianess issues with NIPQUAD]

|>    Do I read this correct?!? Is it more acceptable to have a bug[*],
|>    than a not optimal fix?!?!?
|> s/optimal/stupid/

What's stupid is little endian. <g>


[Paul Eggert on]
A closely related question is `What is 1 minute before 23:59:60?''.

Here's a good one: `What is 1 month before 1 February 1995 in
Kiritimati?''.  There was no 1 January 1995 in Kiritimati; they
skipped a day by moving the clocks ahead 24 hours.  Similar issues
arise when asking about times that occur within smaller, more typical
UTC offset changes.  A number of obscure questions arise here, and I'm
not sure it's worth standardizing all the answers.

[D.J.Bernstein on]

Paul Eggert writes:
> which I am calling the `modified TIME_TAI''

Your time differences break down near leap seconds. Ever watched xntpd
try to handle a leap second? Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble.

For binary only drivers you can assume most vendors will build x86 only

        "We don't have the tools"
        "We can't support a non intel build"
        "We don't have that sort of machine"
        "Its not worth the time cost"
        "Whats an Alpha ?"

On Thu, 1 Oct 1998, Mail Delivery Subsystem wrote:

> The original message was received at Thu, 1 Oct 1998 18:39:56 -0400
> from mini []
>    ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
> <mailproc@fred>
>    ----- Transcript of session follows -----
> procmail: can't map '/lib/'
> procmail: can't map '/lib/'
> procmail: can't load library ''
> 554 <mailproc@fred>... unknown mailer error 16

> Here is the difficulty with this discussion:
>     No documented problem
>     No reason to believe that the "solution" solves the unspecified "problem"
>     No clear understanding of the effects of this change on the system
> Why, this could be a discusion among AIX developers!

> This would be a reasonable committee-like compromise that might
> satisfy neither of us (:-).

By default Microsoft has set Explorer to use gz files as VRML, you need to
change the association for .gz / vrml from "start vrml program" to "always ask"


On 10 Aug 1998, Ben Pfaff wrote:
DG> You're not programming MS-DOS applications are you?

BP> Hell no.  I wouldn't touch MS-DOS with a ten-foot network cable.

[Paul Eggert on]

   Date: 10 Oct 1998 15:35:05 -0000
   From: "D. J. Bernstein" <>

   Paul Eggert writes:
   > * 29 February if it's a leap lear, 28 February otherwise.

   If that's 1 month before 31 March, then what's 1 month before 30 March?
   1 month before 29 March?

The same as 1 month before 31 March.

   1 month before 28 March?

28 February.

   And what's 1 month after 28 February? 1 month after 27 February? 1 month
   _before_ 27 February?

28 March, 27 March, and 27 January.

Newsgroups: comp.lang.c

>Nils Goesche wrote:
>> So make a security check first:
>> if (status = UNDER_NUCLEAR_ATTACK)
>>         launch_full_counterstrike();
>Hmmm.  The way the worlds been going lately, AI wouldn't trust that code to
>do the job.  Here's the revised version:
>if(status == UNDER_NULEAR_ATTACK);      /* Corrected dangerous
>                                         = instead of == error*/
>        launch_full_counterstrike();
>Now isn't that much more reliable?

The following variant is less reliable but much safer:

if (status == UNDER_NUCLEAR_ATTACK);    /* Correct dangerous
        launch_full_counterstrike ();      = instead == error */

It is even more cheerful than that.  Not so long time ago a customers
of ours totally destroyed his NT installation on Alpha.

He found on a manufacturer page, no money - for a download, "NT driver"
for his particular piece of a hardware.  So he followed instructions
to the letter - "Installation Wizzard" and all that crap - and the thing
happily installed clobbering, as it is customary in these circles,
essential system libraries with its own versions.  The catch was that
this driver was for NT/Intel and these bozos did not even bother to
check for an architecture or at least mention something in some blurb.
Ooops!  No chance even to try to boot anymore.

The saving grace was that the installation was rather new, so loses
were not big, and he had an opportunity to practice an essential skill
of re-installing Windows NT.  Ah, and yes, this was the only NT driver
available for that hardware from any source.
What do you plan on doing? Using a PA system for networking? :)
Whats next? A *Smell* modem? It would bring a new meaning to packet

"I'd rather spend 10 hours reading source code than 10 minutes on a
technical support line that isn't"

[from linux-kernel]
`This code fills 8 million seats, we therefore decide what's standard.''

And especially with new machines users have a lot of clout. Several UK
suppliers now carry Buslogic cards partly because they got fed up of

        "I'd like to order a dual PII/300, 256Mb of RAM, 17" monitor
         4 4Gig IBM disks, and a buslogic scsi controller"
        "We dont do buslogic only adaptec"
        "Nothing else"


Fünfzig Prozent der Amerikaner wurden in ihrer Kindheit sexuell mißbraucht,
während weitere fünfzig Prozent von Außerirdischen entführt wurden.

>  Let's not forget that this is just an informal, free
>  software project.  Unlke the US House of Representatives
>  we do not yet posess nuclear capability (certain RTEMS
>  users excepted, of course!).

Hmmm, if some RTEMS users have nuclear facilities attached to their
systems, they might be well advised to be careful using FORTRAN as
their language of choice.  The comp.lang.fortran FAQ states (with
concurrence from resident X3J3 members) that "using a non-standard
construct might start WW III, if the necessary (optional) hardware
is installed"

[Toon Moene in private discussion]

Newsgroups: alt.config

L. Harris wrote:
> Testing

you failed.

Roswell {Unit 6 of 5 Sam Borg} Coverup [Rev. joWazzoo - well mannered despammer]
<> at We are Sam Borg Spam Assimilators Ltd. - Area 51 HQ

Perl is really designed more for the guys that will hack Perl at least
20 minutes a day for the rest of their career.  TCL/Python is more a
"20 minutes a week", and VB is probably in that "20 minutes a month"
group. :) -- Randal Schwartz

> alternative, when it comes to stability and power...Not to mention the
> fact that bugs and fixes are very quickly available and don't come in
> 18MB+ "Service Packs" :).

What, you mean you _paid_ for service pack '98?

We got this INTERNET because we whan't more information ( to learn ) now it
seem's people can't handle what they see. You say freedom is a mater of
choice (well it is) you have the freedom to choose to carry your butt some
where else...

Steve Orzel ( wrote:
: The purpose of the newsgroup is to help out other people that have questions
: about a certain topic.

Mark Robinson wrote:
> Does any have any source code to games that I can have?  Does anybody
> know where I can get game sources(legally)?

Here's the trial version of the three-room text adventure I'm going to
write.  I'm not finished yet, though.

    void main (void)
        printf ("You are in a dark room.\n");
        printf ("\n");
        printf ("You feel a sharp pain.\n");
        printf ("You have died.\n");
        printf ("\n");
        printf ("!!! GAME OVER !!!");

(Don't tell, but I took some of the code from Quake.)

John Kugelman.

[mail I got after releasing a zip-password cracker, the second biggest
 mistake I ever made]

From: "Tom Miller"
Subject: Can
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3

Hay man can you send me some hacking tips and tricks please
send to
my name is Tom Miller

From: "Tom Miller"
Subject: Wait
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.71.1712.3

Hey man its Tom can you also send me any easy systems to hack and the
passwords also send me any infomation about hacking websites thank you

From: (Larry McVoy)

[...] then think a little before flaming. Or better yet, produce something
better. Flaming is easy but it is basically masturbation without the orgasm
so why bother? [...]

Günter Höns <>

Newsgroups: de.alt.ufo

Offensichtlich ist noch keinem das Wasser-Wachstum aufgefallen, das sogar
jeden Tag geschieht. Jeden Tag waechst der Wasserberg im Meer um mehrere
Meter, ist dann naeher an der Sonne und verdunstet dann. Sogenannte
Wissenschaftler haben eine abenteuerliche Theorie ueber den Einfluss des
Mondes auf dieses Wachstum aufgestellt, aber inzwischen wissen wir es
besser: Die Wasser-Molekuele werden von Neutrinos getroffen, und verdoppeln
sich dann.

        no fs
                A device has disappeared from the mounted-device table.
                Definitely hardware or software error.

                                Unix Version 7 Manual

On Tue, 4 Aug 1998, Larry Wall wrote:
> Maybe Pi looks like this:
>     =for C
>       i++;                    /* add 1 to i */
>     =end
>     =for C++
>       i.value() += 1;         // add 1 to i, probably
>     =end
>     =for Java
>       system().foo().bar().i().value().please().increment(); // ???
>     =end
> :-)

> > USENET is *not* the non-clickable part of WWW!

[on linux 2.1.111]

The horrid underlining which was a feature with the monochrome Linux vt's on
the previous two releases of the kernel has gone.  Unfortunately, so has the
cursor.  A couple of brief experiments didn't result in me finding a way to
turn it on.

its a true story, it happend this weekend in a nice country
between Belgium (wellknown for its Dutroux-case) and Germany
(wellknown for its Bratwurst), lets call it the Lowlands...

I get a sense of god-like proportions when I patch /dev/kmem with dd(1).

Chad C Giffin

[usenet, an anology]
Mary Green's car was smoking.  She got worried.  "Whatever should I do?"
worried Mary...   Well, as she drove along she noticed a florists shop. "Aha!
Thought Mary, "Flour shops are full of thoughtless men who need to apologize to
their wives.  These men are the sometimes the same ones I see swearing under
the hoods of their cars in the shade of a tree."

"Brrring" said the bell of the door to the flower shop as Mary poked her head
through the door.
"HELP!!! MY CAR IS SMOKING!" Screamed Mary.
"There is a garage right next door." Said the shopkeeper.
"That's right," Said Melvin, "And there is a parts store across the street.  If
you ask for Fred, he's pretty savvy about that kind of stuff."
Now Joe was also in the flower store.  This was his first time in trouble, so
he did not hear the 30 or 40 people per day who came in screaming about their
cars smoking (mostly men, of course -- the ones under the shade trees,

"Why don't you help the stinking lady!!" Screamed Joe.  "It might be your
muffler bearings..." he continued.  Or maybe it's your deisel glow plugs or
your tire pressure..."
Now Tim, also new to the flower shop felt the courage to chime in, "Or it could
even be your cooling system.  Sometimes a hose gets a crack."
"My car smoked once and it was an oil leak, where the head gasket was spraying
oil in the manifold."  Hollered Larry
"Hey lady, why don't you get your car the patch if it's smoking" chortled Glen.
Well, the hollering went on into the evening, and the lady finally went to the
gas station and found that the heater core had a tiny split and was repaired in
three days for a cost of $175.23.

> Nun gut, Berliner sollen ja eh etwas heller sein.

Sicher, das macht der Inzest, und die Isolation!:)

> Nun gut, Berliner sollen ja eh etwas heller sein.

Stimmt, deswegen waren sie wohl auch die ersten, die Hitler hinterherliefen...

>Mt 24,34 Wahrlich, ich sage euch: Dieses Geschlecht wird nicht vergehen, bis
>dies alles geschieht.
>Und es verging nicht.

So what?

Ich dachte eher an:

" 'Und sein Wabbel wird an einer Lanze aufgespiesst', wiederholte der
Oberste Groesste Meister grimmig. Im Hintergrund knarrte etwas, als
Bruder Pfoertner versuchte, das klemmende Portal zu oeffnen. 'Sind wir
jetzt alle soweit? Befinden sich vielleicht noch andere Unwissende
unter uns,die sich verirrt haben?' fuegte er mit aetzendem Sarkasmus
hinzu. 'Gut. Wunderbar. Ich bin ja _so_ froh. Vermutlich brauche ich
nicht zu fragen, ob die vier Wachtuerme geschlossen sind, oder? Oh,
ausgezeichnet. Hat sich jemand die Muehe gemacht, der Heiligen Hose
die Beichte abzunehmen? Ach, tatsaechlich? Auf die richtige Art und
Weise? Und wenn ich nachsehe? Na schoen. Sind vor den Fenstern die
roten Kordeln des Intellekts gespannt worden? Gut. Nun, dann koennen
wir jetzt vielleicht beginnen.' ".

Terry Pratchett, "Wachen! Wachen!", S. 15f



Da muss ich ja, obwohl ich beinahe meinen Humor verloren haette, leise
grinsen. Ich darf zusammenfassen: Du bringst uns keine Beweise, weil Du 1.
zu arm und 2. zu sehr ausgelastet mit der Rettung der Welt und der Zukunft
und so bist. Ausserdem brauchst Du keine Beweise, weil sich Dein
Gedankengebaeude nach eingehender Nabelschau als selbsttragend erwiesen hat.
Finde ich gut! Akzeptiert!

Da will ich nicht weiter stoeren,


It seems that writing to /dev/vcs0 makes the console singing "Ugh,
lalala, I love you baby..."

On Thu, 16 Jul 1998, Linus Torvalds wrote:
>               Kubys

Kubys is my evil twin brother. Sorry about that.


> eieio stands for "Enforce In-Order Execution of I/O".

.... and it is definitely my favorite name for an assembly language
instruction (the non-native-English speakers on the list presumably
don't know the childhood song "Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O").

> It is *big* and never uses.

That's parses like English, but I'll be hornswoggled if I can figure
out what it means.
Chip Salzenberg               - a.k.a. -              <>

[...] HP's PA-8500, for example, has 1.5 Mbytes of L1 cache on-chip. The
company has described the 8500 as a cache SRAM with an ancillary CPU. [...]

From: Dave Cinege <>
Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 06:10:31 -0400

Terry L Ridder wrote:

> at some future date end up being released under the BSD License is what
> is being discussed.

Well my licence is bigger then your licence.

[gtk/testgtk, after dragging & dropping an object:]

Drop data of type text/plain was:

Bill Gates demands royalties for your use of his innovation

[and the button reads]

Continue with life in spite of this oppression

Joshua Waxman <> writes:

   While DJGPP is indeed a C as well as a C compiler, there are certain

A terribly succinct, as well as a true, statement.  However, it has a
certain amount of redundancy.

Compatibility with oneself is Microsoft's greatest strength. When they hit
the 64 bit transition they will hit a major internal incompatibility problem.


Peter da Silva <>

>I am new to Perl. Can anyone tell me where I can download a full
>operational Perl version for a Windows 95 system?

Of course it all depends on what you mean by "a full operational Perl
version"  Perl on Win32 has limitations that are largely due to the
nature of the underlying OS,  Perl on Win95 has further limitations
compared with NT due to its own shortcomings .

An injunction delaying Windows 98 would clearly have a negative impact
on the country as a whole.
                                     Compaq President & CEO Eckhard Pfeiffer,
                                     explaining why Microsoft shouldn't be
                                     prosecuted under anti-monopoly laws.

With a PC, I always felt limited by the software available.  On Unix, I am
limited by my knowledge.  --Peter J. Schoenster <>

There is a need to keep from being locked into Open Systems. --IBM sales rep

In comp.lang.perl.misc,
    Stylin <stylinsty@yahoo.comREMOVE> writes:
:Can anyone point me to the algorithm for creating a unique id?

    $id = `cat /dev/kmem`;

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.   :-)
                --Larry Wall in  <8571@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>

Newsgroup: comp.lang.perl.misc
Subject: Larry 1 Bill 0

On 3 Jul 1998, Ben Pfaff wrote:

> The only problem with these AIs is that they don't handle references
> to themselves as AIs very well.  In faSegmentation fault (core dumped)
> !@*&#@#%T^@&*(GU*SD*(@!&*(@#R(*FERHGH*(@#(&$&#@Y!&R

> People come here to ask questions, not for intellectual gratification, but
> rather they are seeking solutions. As such, the incorrect answer was
> better.

There's something... terribly wrong with this statement. I can't quite put
my finger on it. Hmmm.

comp.lang.c does not exist to accomodate the laziness of those who cannot be
bothered to learn netiquette. That's what comp.lang.c++ is for.

|> : > but... a microwave is an example of an embedded system,
|> : Who says? He just said it was a microwave. He didn't say it was
|> : a free-standing implimentation.
|> This is approaching arguing for the sake of argument.  Have you
|> ever seen a microwave oven that supports a hosted C environment?

The Lipton Ritchie Model 8 did.  I'm sure that many posters will
point out that Lipton's implementation of the stdio libraries was
horrendously buggy.  It was, but it was still a great system.  It
remains the only C implementation I know of that could be used to
build Bison, and then cook it.

Viva la buffalo burgers.

A strategically-placed PDP-11 can be used to heat your entire
home.  I've got one in my basement, next to a large box of "She's
The Sheriff" drink coasters.  I sold my furnace years ago.  The
Digital Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning Corporation
can be found online at

The lbxproxy program has various options, all of which are optional.
                                                      -- lbxproxy(1)

Re: Where to learn Windows programming...

|> I'll take a Schildt book any day, thanks.

Great. I'm expecting to see the line above as a back-cover blurb
on the next "Bullschildt: The Complete Reference".

Subject: Re: The wrong position of while, if and else?

that's some ugly piece of code buddy...

In article <>, (EYREI) writes:
|> I have recently started learning the C Language.  I have created a simple file
|> to determine whether or not a number is Prime.  When I run it, the program
|> crashes with the error message :- Unhandled Exception :- General Protection
|> Exception 0x5FD7:0x379F. Prime(1) Processor Fault.

|> What does this mean.

It means you've got a broken operating system, and should immediately
install [free|net|open]BSD[OS] or Linux.

Newsgroups: comp.lang.c

On Thu, 25 Jun 1998, Emulov wrote:
> Hi, i don't know if this is a stupid question..

Off-topic, too! Imagine that.

"Right now we are the most shit hot piece of PC networking software on the
 planet. The only people who can touch us are FreeBSD (who also dont do
         -- Alan Cox, in "Streams and Linux"

   "Perl combines all of the worst aspects of BASIC, C and line noise."
                             - Keith Packard <>

Lord Fellatio <>

>Wo soll das Loch denn dann sein? Im Meeresboden?


>Von oben duerfte man es also ueberhaupt nicht sehen
>koennen, da ueber dem potentiellen Loch im Meeresboden doch
>wahrscheinlich erstmal Wasser und dann viel Eis liegen wuerde. Wie
>verhindern die Ausserirdischen denn, dass Wasser ins Loch einstroemt?

Na ist doch völlig logo, mit nem rotierenden Traktorstrahl. Die
Energie klauen die ?r***e dem Erdmagnetfeld.

>Gibt es da einen kosmischen Badewannenstoepsel? Haben sie es mit
>Eisbergen verstopft? Oder benutzen sie das einstroemende Wasser zu
>Kajakfahrten bis hinunter zum Suedpol? (Das waere doch auch endlich
>mal eine einleuchtende Erklaerung fuer die Eismassen, die die
>Antarktis bedecken - man muesste halt nur, der Kontinentaldrift
>folgend, immer wieder neue Schaechte bohren. Oder die Kontinentaldrift
>einfach wegdiskutieren...)

Die enorme Zentrifugalkraft im Erdinnern schleudert das Wasser wieder
am Nordpolpol raus, falls der Traktorstrahl versagen sollte (Dies
passiert immer dann, wenn das Erdmagnetfeld umkippt). Nun kommt sicher
der Einwand, die Erde würde zu langsam rotieren. Das ist nur bedingt
richtig. Richtig ist hingegen, daß die Rotationsgeschwindigkeit im
Erdinnern um den Faktor 1000 (ca; sehr schwer zu messen: Magma) größer
ist als auf der Erdoberfläche. Dies ist auch die Ursache für die
Kontinentaldrift und die Mondphasen.

Die Mondphasen wiederum beeinflussen das Erdmagnetfeld und sind daher
die Ursache für die Sonnenflecken. Den Sonnenflecken haben wir auch
die momentane Klimaveränderung zu verdanken. Auf der anderen Seite hat
die Zunahme der Treibhausgase eine Erhöhung des Reflektionsvermögens
der Atmosphäre zur Folge, welches dazu führt, daß ein Teil der
Sonnenenergie zur Sonne zurückreflektiert wird. Dies heizt wiederum
die Sonnenflecken auf und verkürzt deren Zyklus. All dies wird sich in
den nächten Monaten so aufschaukeln, daß vorraussichtlich im Novemner
2002 das Erdmagnetfeld zusammenbrechen wird. Wie damals bei den Dinos.
Nur war dort ein Kometeneinschlag die Ursache.

cu in hell 2002

      "Hiroshima '45, Chernobyl '85, Windows '95"

>In unix, one might say 'man 3 crypt'.

Of course, on a Solaris system this won't give you what you want.  You
get a message that it can't find the man page for 3.  It then prints
the man page for crypt(1).

Of course, all a beginner has to do is figure out that the 3 is the
section number in the Unix manual.  He can then use man man to find
that on Solaris one uses -s to specify the section so he'll try

        man -s3 crypt

Unfortunately, that doesn't work either.  He'll get the message "No
entry for crypt in section(s) 3 of the manual."

If he doesn't give up, he can go back to the manual page for man and
find that the -a switch prints all matching manual pages.  Or perhaps
he can figure out to use the command

        man -s3 Intro.3

to get a list of everything in section 3.  He'll then find out that
crypt is in section 3C so he should use

        man -s3c crypt

Gee.  I don't understand why beginners have so much trouble with this
stuff.  I've only been programming Unix for 15 years and I don't have
any trouble.
Michael M Rubenstein

        Take a moment to consider these lines:

        %OVERLOAD=( '""' => sub { join("", @{$_[0]}) } );

        sub html { my($type)=shift; bless ["<$type>", @_, "</$type>"]; }

        :-)  I *love* Perl 5!  Thankyou Larry and Ilya.

        Tim Bunce.

        p.s. If you didn't get it, think about recursive data types: html(html())
        p.p.s. I'll turn this into a much more practical example in a day or two.
        p.p.p.s. It's a pity that overloads are not inherited. Is this a bug?

From: (Alan Cox)


> now is evil".  This only shows two things: you never looked at the bad
> experiences of the industry where following a rotten design and
> keeping backward compatibility lead to unusable systems.  And second:

I worked for 3com. I know eveyrhting about following a rotten design until
its unusable, believe me I do.

Ok(slow) -> !NeedComputer

Semour Cray

Ullrich Jans at University of Karlsruhe, Germany:

Oh Gott! Es ist voller crons!

From: p00h <p00h@MONMOUTH.COM>
Subject: Re: AOL for Windows DoS/Exploit

aol supports PARTIAL html, its like win95's implementation of tcp/ip
it only supports parts of it

 /*  Help stamp out big monolithic functions!  */

[...] Yes, I'm being sarcastic.  Especially regarding HPPA assembler syntax
as provided by HP, which was designed by someone who should not have been
let near a language-design project like that, too often "little languages",
whether assemblers, tools, or C++, are designed by people who are unaware
of, or give little thought to, the outright readability of code written in
the language, in the sense that the basic semantics should be fairly obvious
*without* the reader having to memorize lots of semantic information.

(In HPPA assembler's case, one glaring stupidity was the nullified branches,
which have completely different semantics depending on whether the label
being branched to happens to assemble to a negative or positive offset!  A
smarter design would have required the programmer to specify whether such a
branch was a "forward" or "backward" branch explicitly, then the assembler
and/or linker would complain if reality didn't match the programmer's
specification.  I've never looked into whether GNU's HPPA as fixes this
botch; I gather GNU as fixes many botches, though, so it wouldn't surprise
me if it did, even though that might make for some compatibility problems
with existing HP as code.) [...]

        tq vm, (burley)

/* The following two types have to be signed and unsigned integer type
   wide enough to hold a value of a pointer.  For most ANSI compilers
   ptrdiff_t and size_t should be likely OK.  Still size of these two
   types is 2 for Microsoft C.  Ugh... */
typedef long int s_reg_t;
typedef unsigned long int active_reg_t;

 * While Microsoft's compiler is ANSI C compliant, it doesn't have _STDC_
 * defined by default, you specify a command line flag or #pragma to turn
 * it on.  Don't do that, however, because some of Microsoft's own header
 * files won't compile.

> UTC variation and begining and ending dates of DST (if observed) would be
> great.

I answered only the places I can comment on.


This rock is below water half of the time!
If any inhabitants have been there, I do not think they observe DST
on a regular basis!  ;-)

# ./
Bizarre copy of CODE in sassign at /root/.gimp/plug-ins/ line 40.
wire_read: unexpected EOF (plug-in crashed?)

> The "where do you want to go today?" generation has taken the
> developer out of the "programmer" by removing the vital, development
> tools from the environment and precanning software.

No kidding. Point. Click. Point. Click. Point. Click. Brain Atrophy.

Lars Chr Hausmann <> writes:


>I have to write something about, what Perl is.
>I need some crystal clear info about, what perl is. So if any of you
>would be so kind just to mail. Then I would be grateful!



Subject: Re: Cyrix 6x86MX and Centaur C6 CPUs in 2.1.102
From: (Alan Cox)
Date: Thu, 21 May 1998 22:31:02 +0100 (BST)

> Well, that depends. They SHOULD be. By Intel 'standards' *laff*, they have
> to be identical stepping, indicating identical features. However, I've

They don't. Pentiums have fairly strict rules, P6/PII much less. Also Intel
are pretty good at following the MP 1.1/1.4 standard its the motherboard
makers who get it wrong - primarily the BIOS is full of bugs. It appears
nobody tests bios code against specs any more. It looks like they do
compile flash, boot 95, boot NT, ship. The quality of bios code has dived to
the absolute pits.

Unix never says `Please.'  -- Rob Pike

> What about: . scriptname
> ------------------^ this is a dot!

Funny, it looks like a "p" to me.

A computer without Microsoft and IBM is like chocolate cake without
ketchup and mustard

Subject: Re: Challange for perl `GURUS

vimal gajjar wrote:
> Hi there,
>                 Here is a small challange. Is it possible to have a perl
> code which takes e.g. three parameters as input. time, val1, val2. and
> the name of the prog. is say Now if  i execute
> "  10 5 2" this perl script wille  consume
> 5% of cpu
> 2 Mb of RAM
> for the period of 10 Seconds.
> can one of the gurus take this challange?

Examining the 5 copies of this post has consumed 5% of the
brain power I allocate to reviewing c.l.p.m, about 10 seconds, and
has caused the death of 2 million brain cells.

> >> /A:You can usually write the program faster than you can
> >>    dial/dl/hangup/install/read docs/fix it/fix the fix/.
> >s/usually/never/
> s/sometimes/never/

Cute. You embarrass yourself by your ignorance of perl.

:That's probably true, but I really can't speak to it. But, if there
:were no *nix around, there'd be no Perl. Nor would there be a need for
:Perl, IMO.

Gotta love them JCL and ini dot bat dot bad dot doo dah files.


'cc:Mail is a wonderful application, as long as you don't want to read or send mail.'

shurik@iron.Te.NeT.UA - Alexandr Dubovikov at TeNeT Networking Centre

Hi guys!

How check socket, alive it or die ?

--> Questions not to ask on linux-kernel <--

Miscellaneous flame-wars:
12) The gnome-kde debate does not belong on linux-kernel.
13) The emacs-vi  debate does not belong on linux-kernel.
14) Porting linux to run under windows is not interesting.
15) Whether a given intel CISC chip "is really RISC" is not interesting.

Subject: what a week!
From: "C. Scott Ananian" <>
Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 03:13:23 -0400 (EDT)

unicode, boot-logos, GGI, STREAMS, the necessity of a short devel cycle
and the instability of 2.0.x, "ifconfig stopped working", "you really *do*
need to remove 'encaps'", Linus' tarball practices... it seems like we're
running out of things to flame off on.  Here's my humble contribution:




BROTHER B1FF'S GAMES!!1!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!11!!!



Did I miss any? ;-)

*Please* don't respond seriously to this email. It's a joke.  A joke.
Laugh.  Please.

And then let's kill all the flaming threads, shall we?

> Well, /proc/kcore already reports its actual size...

And it isn't about to change at runtime either.  That is the size of
installed memory.  I've yet to see a single person successfully insert or
remove a SIMM/DIMM while a machine was running.  If they did, and it was
successful, the linux code will update the filesize.  ;o)

Toby Heywood ( wrote:
: This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

One of those 'M's stands for Mail.

This is not mail.

This is Usenet.

Please post only plain text like everyone else does.

--- hdc: irq timeout: status=0xd0 { Busy }
--- ide1: reset: success
-----------> I like Linux !

> I have experienced people walking up to my console and saying "What
> the hell does that mean" in sheer terror as the machine boots.

Tell them it's magic, and earn the respect of your colleagues.  I always

++ Actually, I'm not at a loss for words. Here's one that's very appropriate:

++ > SSI is *not* HTML.
Re: Subraumfunk

Ja, ein Handy waere da praktisch. Die hoeheren Gebuehren rechnen sich,
wenn man ueber die Grenzen des Sonnensystems hinaus telefonieren will.

Die Telekom wuerde da wieder mal erbarmungslos abzocken. Ich kann es
mir schon vorstellen: SunSystem-Tarif, vielleicht auch einen
InnerPlanets-Sondertarif, dann einen LocalGroupWeekend-Specialtarif,
eine Supercluster-Zone und so weiter. Und wenn es auf der Venus
schneit, telefonieren alle fuer die Haelfte.

> > Vergiss es. Du wirst nie und nimmer von Armando eine
> > konkrete, verwertbare Antwort bekommen.
> Doch, man bekommt von mir sogar sehr viele Antworten.

Du hast gerade zwei Adjektive weggelassen.

++ Oh yeah. Show me an example of SSI used outside of HTML.
Show me an HTML DTD mentioning SSI directives.

Namsuk Kim wrote:
> Is there a way to convert a scalar data to Acii data format?

I am not familar with ACII.  If you mean ASCII, then the question I have is
- is the data in EBCDIC now?

Bill Jones


#if defined (WIN32) && !defined (__CYGWIN32__)
/* It's not Unix, really.  See?  Capital letters.  */
#include <windows.h>
#define getpid() GetCurrentProcessId()

Subject: IIS 4.0, PW32i316, CGI Programs

Perlis.dll does not pass command line arguments correctly via the web.  That
is, invoking the URL

causes the to execute, but @ARGV is empty.

  "You need to use CGI."
  "I am using CGI, it's a CGI application!"
  "No, no, *use* CGI.  The directive 'use'."
  "OK, so what directive do I use?"
  "No, no, you *use* *use*.  Use CGI."
  "I *am* using CGI!"

Craig Berry -

> > Was haltet Ihr von Killfile-mailing-lists, dass sich die Leute mal
> > kennenlernen koennen?
> Gute Idee ;-), wäre ich sofort dabei, datrifft man wahrscheinlich ne
> Menge tolle Leute... ;-) und die wahren Freidenker.

Einige Freidenker sicher, aber auch etliche Denkfreie.

"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big or
professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." -- Linus Torvalds 1991

If it's a floppy, it might be a copy.
If it's a disk, you're also at risk.
If it's a pirate, the vendors are irate.
To avoid such frustration, try: Free Software Foundation.

From: David Woodhouse <> said:
>  It was much more than I usally get! It was _great_

Hehe - I know the feeling.

    "It's broken."
 "What's wrong with it?."
    "I don't know - it just doesn't work."
 "Well what do you mean by 'it's broken'?"
    "It just doesn't work."
 "How can you _tell_ it's broken, for f***'s sake - what are the symptoms!?"
    "It gives an error message."
 "Would you care to tell me what it says?"
    "It says.... something about there being an error."
 "That's not very helpful. Tell me it word for word."
    "It says 'Unable to handle kernel NULL reference at something or other'"
 "That's not word for word. It said 'NULL pointer dereference.' Try again,
  letter for letter this time."

From: "Paul B. Henson" <henson@INTRANET.CSUPOMONA.EDU>

After installing Solaris 2.6 HW3/98, I discovered that /usr/bin/admintool
had been installed mode 0777, world writable. Under the original release of
2.6, the mode was 04555.

Sun has been notified of the problem. If you're running 2.6 HW3/98, you
might want to verify your admintool hasn't been tampered with and fix the

(Personally, I'd set them to 0000 ;). admintool? blech.)

From: (Vera Horiuchi)
Subject: Re: Risp: drama (Re: Do It Yourself)

Americans ignorant of the rest of the world?

I must tell a favorite story here. A friend and I were purchasing a gift
for another friend who lives in Canada. I was speculating out loud about
how much duty our Canadian friend would have to pay.

The cashier said, "Oh, I'm sure Canadians don't have to pay any duty. We
ship to Hawaii all the time, and _they_ don't have to pay duty."  =:-0

>am besten ist z.Z. das Buch von Michael Neufeld. Wer aber Wissenslücken
>verspürt (was keine Schande ist), sollte diese zu stopfen suchen und nicht
>Zuflucht zu absolut hirnrissigen Theorien suchen.

Hirnrissig bist Du. Das es einen Zeittransfer aus der Zukunft zu den Nazis
gab deckt sich mit dazu passenden Entschluesselungen bestimmter Bibelstellen
und mit der dann tatsaechlichen notwendigen Geheimhaltung. Es deckt sich
ueberdies damit, dass die Unterhaltung uns den Gedanken zunehmend nahelegt,
also vorbereitet, und dass es bereits ein wissenschaftliches Experiment gab,
bei dem ERST die Wirkung auftrat und DANN die Ursache. Die Zeitreise ist
also Fakt. Und es ist sicher, dass Jemand per Zeitreise den Nazis helfen
wollte. Gelegentliche Theorien, dass auch diese ausserirdische Hilfe gehabt
haetten sollen nur davon ablenken, eine andere Erklaerung liefern. Das ist
logisch, denn die Taeter sitzen ja irgendwo in unserer Zeit und moechten
sicher nicht erkannt werden.

Du scheinst die simpelsten Grundzuege der Zeitlogik nicht verstehen zu wollen.

>Oder anders gesagt:
>Glaubst Du, Du könntest mit einem hochmodernen Maschinengewehr eine römische

Klar. Frage mal Cortez.


>Article 2B is a threat to anyone who uses a computer. I just wanted to

It may be a threat to any american using a computer. Fortunately, the U.S.
justice does not yet apply outside the U.S.A.

I.a.W.: You're currently creating a lot of happy non-U.S. software

        Kind regards

From: "Adam J. Richter" <>
Date: Fri, 24 Apr 1998 04:14:11 -0700
Subject: Re: driver for Creative Labs DVD kits

        At least with the IDE DVD drive that I have, plugging it directly
into an IDE port and using the regular Linux ide-cd driver works just fine
for reading [...] CD and the [not] copy protected sections of the DVD's.

        There is a protocol that the hardware decoder boards use to
tell the DVD drive that they are a licensed implementation and should
be allowed to read the copy protected sectors as well.  I have been
told that this protocol can be done entirely in software with a
standard IDE port.  Hopefully, somebody will reverse engineer this and
make it a demand loaded kernel module.  (Seriously, there is a lot
that you are allowed to do with copyrighted material that this sort of
hardware restriction prevents, and there are other important political
issues involved relating to your rights to do as you please with the
computer equipment that you bought and paid for.)

Where do you want to go today?
We might support that sometime next year.
        -=- Microsoft
(But I doubt it.)
        -=- Me
        -=- James Mastros

Hello570 <> wrote:
>        I tried printing a line to a file using both of the
> following methods, but the output was split into two

If you don't want newlines in the middle of your string, then don't
put newlines in the middle of your string.

Einstein himself said that God doesn't roll dice. But he was wrong. And
in fact, anyone who has played role-playing games knows that God
probably had to roll quite a few dice to come up with a character like
Einstein.  -- Larry Wall

From: Ragnar Hojland Espinosa <>

My $0.02 Euros on internationalization? I'm in Spain and my keyboard is
mosty US mapped because the Spanish map is really awkward for programming.
Computers were designed to be funcional, not politically (or locally)
correct (hm, I don't think HAL ever spoke Russian). This "computers are easy
for all" GUI related trend has done a lot of money, and lot of damage; at
least command line OSes forced the user to actually learn something and
absorb information. The user assumed so, so he did.  Now he doesn't, and
it's not all his fault.

The WWW is full of useless (and ugly) graphics, of useless links to links to
pages with links to links which usually end up in a huge links page. Of
course, there are some jewels.. but they should be majority! It's
understandable, when the tools and languages focus more on aspect that in

Usenet is worse than ever, the interesting places have been ruined by
spammers, c00l hak3rz, and more and more people asking (or demanding) for
others doing their homework.. at least some time ago they were willing to
learn (or pay for it;)

IRC.. heh. The few times I've been on funet almost all I found is the same
people in the above paragraph. And I do know some of them even run scripts
to try denial of service or other destructive attacks on people they see,
just for fun or to get the op.

Email. Someone selling an "incredible program that allows you to bypass
your ISP mail server, for only $89" (thats right, a smtp server). No OS
mentioned, I somehow can guess which. And that stupid thing of sending
mail to people in RTF and HTML format.. I'm gonna answer them in LaTeX.

Internet, your ilimited junk yard.

Using computers would make me real sad if it wasn't for UNIX and, of
course, Linux and Linux people.

... WNT == ++VMS .  Literally.  Dave Cutler created VMS,
then he rewrote it as WNT.

Ever used VMS?  It's a step above DOS.  Barely.
Clark O. Morgan       

>Subject: If "=~" means match what is doesn't match?

I heard that a friend of a friend might have once been told about a
rumor that this information can be found in perlop, right next to
where =~ is documented. (It's !~)

I agree with Tom's assessment that the fall of modern man will be
preceded by the de-evolution of communications to the days of oral

"Windows 95, the most installed system in the world,
I know, I've done it 5 or 6 times myself"

The statistics programming language S, from AT&T, combines lazy
evaluation with imperative programming.  A nightmare.

"In 1965, as part of a research and development project for the
U.S. Army, engineers at TRW Corp developed a software program
called Generalized Information Retrieval Lanaguage and System."
Or GIRLS for short.

Wissen bremst die Meinungsbildung voll aus.

I have an idea: Anybody who posts an URGENT! or EMERGENCY! request should
post the circumstances behind the urgency.  "I was having sex with my
mistress in the server room and I knocked the Linux box over and the hard
drive crashed and so I've reinstalled everything but I still can't get
5_004_03 to build!"

This would inspire me to action far more than the implied subtext of "I
have no patience."


> I have Perl5 running on my pc.
> and also front page98 and microsoft personal web server runnig.
We all have our cross to bear.


From: (Mark-Jason Dominus)
Date:         09 Nov 1995 02:57:30 GMT
Subject:      Re: system() question

    There are a lot of reasons, many of which get repeated over and
over again, many of which don't.  Some of the reasons you hear a lot
are: Questions are incoherently phrased.  Questions have the form 'My
code doesn't work' and don't include the code.  Questions include the
code, and it's 200 lines long, and comp.lang.perl is not a debugging
service.  Nobody knows the answer to the question.  The question is so
badly punctuated that nobody can bear to read it.  Questions aer
written by a non-native speaker of English and the native speakers who
are trying to understand it can't.  (That's a shame, but it does
happen.  I often wish that these people would post in their native
languages.  I'd love to see more discussion in languages other than
English.  Some Dutch guy tried posting all his comp.lang.c articles in
Dutch a few years ago, and all the Americans flamed him.  How
humiliating for me!)

    Apart from these oft-mentioned reasons are many others that are
not so often discussed, because anyone who tries to bring them up gets
flamed.  But it's the truth: I know the reason I don't answer more
questions is because so many of them questions are so damn stupid.
They're stupid in a lot of different ways, but they're still stupid.
I don't want to suggest that that's why your questions go unanswered.
I don't know what you're asking.  No doubt the reason your questions
go unanswered is because they're so deep and interesting that nobody
really knows the answer.

    The most common stupid question is the one from someone who has
some high-level problem that they need solved.  They have an idea that
they'd like to do it in perl, and they don't really know perl.  So
instead of learning perl, they post to comp.lang.perl.misc.

    Now don't get me wrong.  I don't have any problems answering the
questions of someone who's trying to learn perl.  I love THOSE
qusetions.  But these people don't seem to be asking useful questions
for that.

    Today, for example, I saw a question from a guy who wants to get a
list of hostnames out of nslookup.  `How do I do that?' he says.  And
it's hard to know what to make of that.  What does he mean?  Does he
not know how to open a pipe?  Is his en' command failing?  What's
going on here?  I can't give a useful answer without understanding the
problem.  Having your en' fail is a problem.  Wanting to list
hostnames is not a problem; it's a desire.

Here are some similar questions that would have made more sense to me:

        1. `I'm a lazy asshole and I can't be bothered to learn to
           program myself, but I know if I post here you'll give me
           something for free.''

           (OK, fair enough.  At least I can send him a rate card.)

        2. `I'm trying to use en' to talk to nslookup, but...
   's my code; what's wrong?''

           (Good question.)

        3. `I know perl has a `System' command for running programs,
           but I can't see how to get my commands into nslookup
           once I have run it.''
           (Good question.)

        4. `I'm trying to use `Getprotobynumber' to talk to nslookup...''

           (Good question.)

    See, I'm not just biting people's heads off, here.  #4 is a good
question, because it gives me something to work with.  OK, he has a
very weird idea about interprocess communication, but that's
ignorance, and that's what we're here to correct.  He doesn't know
about en'; I can refer him to the manual.

    Here's another example: Some guy wants to assemble a list of email
addresses . `How do I do that?'' he wants to know.  Well, duh.  Get a
big pad of paper and read news for a couple days and write down all
the addresses you see.  Problem solved.  What's it doing in
    Oh, you wanted to do it in perl.  Well, I guess I'd open a socket
to the NNTP server and send it some XHDR commands for the `From'
lines.  But that's not Perl; you could do that in any language.  I
could do it in Bourne Shell for you if I'm allowed to use a little
external thingie to handle the socket parts for me.  What's it doing
in comp.lang.perl?

    Oh, you wanted us to write the program for you?  Wait, let me send
you my rate card.

    Someone posted yesterday asking how to get the data from a file where
the start and end of the data is marked by keywords.  Same thing going on
here.  `Well, here's how you solve your problem: First you go take an
introductory class in programming and learn to write programs in some
language.  Then you go to the bookstore and buy this book by Wall and
Schwartz, it's really good.  Read the book carefully and try out the
examples.  Then if you still have general questions like `How do I do this'
instead of thought that this code would do X but instead it does Y' you hire
a professional to write your program for you.  Or you could just skip right
to step 3.  Want my rate card?''

    The worst stupid questions are the ones that come from people who
have no business asking them.  The most perfect example of this that I
could have imagined was in comp.unix.questions a couple of years ago.
Some guy came and asked how you could tell if a file is a hard link.
My jaw flapped open and it's stayed open since then.  I couldn't have
been any more stumped if he'd asked why Bodhidharma came from the
West.  What do you say to this guy?  Do you tell him the truth, that
all files are hard links, that even symbolic links are hard links?
He's not going to understand you; you might as well keep your mouth
shut.  Do you tell him the truth, that the answer won't do him any
good because he doesn't know what a hard link is, so why did he bother
asking in the first place?  No, that'll just make him mad.  I followed
that message for the next couple weeks, and nobody said anything.
What could you say?  The guy had no business asking the question and
no use for the answer.  Maybe the right answer would have been to cut
off his finger or something.  I dunno.

    Some questions get ignored because they're boring.  Someone asked
today how to compare two variables (I assumme he means the contents of
those variables) to see if they're exactly the same.  You've gotta be
in an awfully good mood to take the time to answer that.  Maybe
someone will.  Maybe I will.

    If I answer that one today, maybe he'll be back tomorrow asking
how to check to see if two variables contain different values.  Maybe
I won't.  What I find incredible is that if you tell these people to
go read the manual and come back in two weeks, you sometimes get
jumped on for not being helpful to beginners.  Bah.  If everyone told
these people to go read the manual, they'd eventually figure out that
that's what you have to do ,and then I wouldn't have to spend so much
of my life dealing with incompetent programmers.

    Some questions are logically nonsensical because the querent
thinks they know more than they do.  A lot of these have the form
`How do I use X to accomplish Y?'' There's nothing wrong with this,
except that sometimes X is a chocolate-covered banana and Y is the
integration of European currency systems.  I always get stuck on
these, probably because I can't get rid of the idea that the person
really has a good reason for wanting to use X.  I know a half-dozen
easy simple ways to accomplish Y, but I can't imagine what X has to do
with it.  This is a problem for me in my day job, too.  Clients are
always saying to me `We want to use product X to do multimedia
development on the world-wide web,'' and all I can think is `Well,
gee, what would you want to go and do that for?''  Sometimes it turns
out that they want to do it because they want to impress the
manufacturers of X, and I don't work on those jobs.

    The flip side of this is a questions like `I want to accomplish
X, but I don't want to use Y.  What can I use instead?''  Which,
again, is sometimes reasonable, and then sometimes X is closing a
filehandle and Y is the `Close' function.

The questions I like the best are the ones that go like this:

        `I want to accomplish X.

          I thought that the following code fragment would do it:


          But instead it does Y.

          Why is that?''

This one is also pretty good:

        `I want to accomplish X.
          I thought I might be able to use facility Y.

          But Y doesn't seem like it's quite right,
          because of Z.

          What should I use instead of Y, or how can I overcome Z?''

When I ignore these, it's usually because I don't know the answer.
There were an awful lot of them today.  It makes me very happy.

There you go; a 160-line dissertation on why questions go unanswered.
Now don't let me hear you saying nobody ever answers your questions.

Consulting Minister for Consultants, DNRC
The Bill of Rights is paid in Responsibilities - Jean McGuire

>> BTW, would it be easier to cope with international text using Python?
>Sigh... you're breaking my heart. Ask Jack Jansen, he probably knows.

If I were really evel, I would point out that the newest TCL (8.1) has
support for international character sets and Unicode. But then, mentioning
TCL in this newsfroup would be really bad. So, of course, I don't do that.

Ups. I'm so sorry ... ;-)

bye, Georg

I personally do not believe in object orientation as a security model
(nor as a general programming paradigm), but feel free to try to
convince me.

[ Or maybe I confuse you with somebody else and some other posting ]


++ how can i strip new lines out at var.

Removing new lines is very tricky, as the manual tells you so. Ignore the
complicated things in the manual, and put in this neat little trick:

$var=join+q,,,grep{ord$[[qq$\137$]]<10 or+10<ord}split+q,,,$var;

If you're old enough not to read the manual, you won't have a problem
understanding the above line.


I fixed the problem by mounting the SCO volume on the SunOS box, and since
1995 the problem has gone away together with the SCO machine.

++ Hi Does anybody know how to upload many graphic files at the push of a
++ button?

++         100 pictures or so?

++                             Can I do it in Perl?

Your question isn't Perl specific. Please ask in the relevant


perly gates - The way to perl; Enter hackerdom.

perly Gates - Contradictio in Terminis.


Ren hat weder von Sinnhaftigkeit noch von Kausalität geschrieben, sondern
nur von Logik. Logik und Kausalität sind in unserem (normalen) Denken zwar
eng miteinander verknüpft, sind aber nicht dasselbe. Sinn ist hingegen noch
etwas Drittes und ganz verschiedenes! "Sinn" bedeutet mindestens, daß eine
Sache eine gewisse Richtung hat, wie in "Uhrzeigersinn". Meistens bedeutet
Sinn aber, daß eine Sache einen bestimmten Zweck erfüllt. Auch darf man
nicht "verursachen" mit "begründen" verwechseln, weil die beiden
unterschiedlich sind. Die Existenz muß auch keinen Sinn haben, um eine
Ursache zu haben. Das sind zwei völlig voneinander unabhängige Sachen. Die
Existenz hat einen Sinn, also eine Richtung, wenn wir unserer Existenz eine
Richtung geben. Dieser Sinn kann auf etwas abzielen, was außerhalb unserer
selbst steht, muß aber nicht... Sie kann auch einen Sinn haben, der schon da
war, bevor wir uns danach ausgerichtet haben - von all dem schreibt Ren aber
nicht. ;)

Worauf Ren wohl hinaus wollte, ist, daß wenn die Logik des begrenzten Raumes
nicht gilt, daß dann die Logik schlechthin hinfällig wird und so jedes Sein
fragwürdig wird. Das ist aber nicht der Fall, da die Logik, die er von den
Grenzen des Raumes aufstellt, gar keine wirkliche Logik ist, sondern nur die
Grenzen des menschlichen Verstandes zeigt. Er kann sich nicht vorstellen,
daß außerhalb der Grenzen des Raumes "Nichts" ist, weil man sich als Mensch
das Nichts nicht vorstellen kann.

Darüber hinaus meinte er, daß die "Existenz unlogisch" würde. Dieser Satz
ist vollkommen unverständlich. Denn entweder ist etwas, oder es ist nicht.
Das ist auch schon die ganze Logik einer Existenz. (Aristoteles: Satz vom
ausgeschlossenen Dritten) Unlogisch wäre, wenn etwas ist, das nicht ist oder
wenn etwas nicht ist, das ist.

Von der Unfähigkeit des Menschen, sich einen unbegrenzten aber endlichen
Raum (oder wie auch immer der Weltraum nun aussieht) vorzustellen auf die
"Unlogik der Existenz" zu schließen, ist aber wohl nicht ganz möglich, zumal
eine Existenz nicht unlogisch sein kann. Was sollte das auch heißen? Daher
ist das Problem, das Ren aufwirft, nur ein Scheinproblem. Die Existenz an
sich wird nicht in Frage gestellt dadurch, daß man sich etwas - egal was -
nicht vorstellen kann. Er verwechselt die Begriffe "unlogisch" und

Marcel Richter wrote:
> Marcel Richter - IQ: 3538327
fehlt da nicht irgendwo ein Komma.... =?-)

The X server has to be the biggest program I've ever seen that doesn't
do anything for you.  --Ken Thompson

         printk("autofs: trying to recover, but prepare for Armageddon\n");

>>Vincent DiPietro, the discoverer of the face on mars, has thrown in
>>the towel, and said that the face on mars is a pile of rocks.
>Was sollte es denn sonst sein?

An artificial pile of rocks.

> ps: mal nebenbei: eine unbekannte variable beim analysieren des
> marsgesichtes ist es, dass mensch gar nicht weiss, wie die lebende,
> gedachte oder sonstige vorlage eigentlich aussieht. dazu kommt natuerlich
> noch das fehlende wissen um die intention des "kuenstlers", ob er
> beispielsweise nur aspekte bzw. partien eines gesichtes integrieren wollte
> - und natuerlich, ob es ueberhaupt kunst ist:)

Ganz genau. Und das Matterhorn ist eine palaeoimpressionistische Studie des
Geruchsorgans der Rasse der Ciabattanimalier. Aber das wussten hier
sicherlich schon alle. Das ganze Universum ist ausserdem eigentlich nur ein
grosser Flipperautomat.

Christoph Schulte Moenting -

> Kris Weilemann schrieb
> >MIR ging es neulich aehnlich. Ich wurde von Ausserirdischen entfuehrt.
> >Ich wurde eingesperrt in einem dunklem Raum mit langen Sitzreihen und mit
> >einer Popcorn-artigen Substanz gefuettert. Nach 2 Stunden war alles
> >vorbei. Einen Tag spaeter stellte ich fest, dass mir 18 Mark im
> >Geldbeutel fehlten. Ist das nicht krass?  -Kris.

... Jazz ist nicht nur das erfolgreichste, sondern auch das einzige originäre Kunstgenre,
daß die USA jemals hervorgebracht haben.

"Apropos Musik", HR2 am 16.4.98

The Unix shell as a 4GL

Unix provides hundreds of programs that can be piped together to easily
perform almost any function imaginable. Nothing comes close to providing the
functions that come standard with Unix. Programs and philosophies carried
over from other systems put walls between the user and Unix, and the power
of Unix is thrown away. The shell, extended with a few relational operators,
is the fourth generation database scripting language most appropriate to the
Unix environment.

Perl is incredibly difficult to parse.  For example, what's the difference
between these:

        time /3 ;#/; print "hello";
        sin /3 ;#/; print "goodbye";

Right.  The first one is time divided by 3, and the print is in a comment.
The second one is the sin of the result of a regular expression match for "3
;#", and the print gets executed!

There's no pure BNF in the world that'll handle that.  And remember, with
"use" and prototypes available, whether you parse something like "sin" or
"time" depends on its definition in some other file, somewhere in the galaxy
(or even decided by Perl code in a BEGIN block, that evals a prototype!).

Which led Larry to say at one point: "the only thing that can parse Perl is

Randal L. Schwartz

Ronald J Kimball <> writes:

> Pascal AMRAM wrote:
> So here I am trying to figure out what an M sex change is....

It's obviously the opposite of an F sex change.  HTH.

Jonathan Feinberg   Sunny Brooklyn, NY

The management (my cats) made me say this.

   write_log ("Program is torturing BPLCON1.\n");

    write_log ("Your Amiga program just did something terribly stupid\n");

       Closures make sense in any programming language where you
       can have the return value of a function be itself a
       function, as you can in Perl.  Note that some languages
       provide anonymous functions but are not capable of
       providing proper closures; the Python language, for

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
resemble a nail.

> but all I get are 501 errors, method not supported.  I am not 100% sure what
> I did wrong.

What you did wrong was post a microsoft server question to a perl

I am trying to learn Perl on my  Windows 97 system.  In particular...

>Es kamen Außerirdische, die Pyramiden bauten und andere Wunder
>vollbrachten. Dafür wurden sie vergöttert. Diese außerirdischen bauten dann
>wahrscheinlich auch die Cydonia Region.

Etwa zehnmal zu oft 'Stargate' gesehen, was?

>Die Menschheit kämpft seit Millionen von Jahren gegeneinander.

Welche Hälfte ist denn da die grössere? :o) still rebuilding after being hit with a clock changing virus it reset
my clock to 2039 unfortunately for me my OS is beta 98 needless to say it
expired instantly!!!

From: Per Bothner <>
To: Pal Engstad <>

> Linus Torvalds requires that all code in the source is using a tab
> length of 8 spaces, and he also states that you are a bad programmer
> if you write code with more than 3 indentation levels.

I didn't know that Linus Torvalds has done research on programming styles.
He much have, since why else would you have the audacity quote him as
an authority, on a list where there are dozens of people with more
than double Linus's programming experience?

> This has caused the code to be fairly easy to read and maintainance is
> pretty straight forward.

Irrelevant - a kernel is a lot simpler than an optimizing compiler,
in terms of complexity of algorithms and data structures.

Nach der Diskussion muss ich akzeptieren, dass die juengst erfolgte
Erdbeschleunigung von - 0,6 auf  - 0,4 Millisekunden kein zwingender Beweis
fuer einen Permanentantrieb ist. Aber: In letzter Zeit kommt es bei mir immer
wieder vor, dass ich Dinge einfach weiss. Selbst wenn ich sie nicht begruenden
kann. Ich weiss trotzdem dass sie stimmen muessen und der Antrieb existiert.
Mit der Zeit findet sich dann auch die Begruendung.

        Wir suchen neue AussenMitarbeiterInnen... (S.Pernar@Link-Goe)

hyperltext (hy'perl-text), n. double-quotish-interpolated hypertext markup:
      print qq[[<LI><A HREF="$self->[[url]]">@[[[ucfirst $self->[[title]]]]]</A>\n]];

liperlsuction:  What happens to any script longer than 10 lines once
                Randal gets his hands on it

Uperl Volta - country where perl programmers control the electricity.

> Anybody successfully installed the win32 version of Perl?

No! Millions of people don't use perl on win32 machines. You may be the
first if you get it working.

>       Macintosh.
>   Think different.

Think Again. writes:
> Why does perl have the "push" and "unshift" functions? ...
> push @nums, 4; is the same as @nums = (@nums, 4);

What do you want, Scheme? ;)

        # There is this special biologist word we use for 'stable'.
        # It is 'dead'. -- Jack Cohen

| I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because
| someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the
| top.

I had a student ask about the UN9 operating system. I didn't understabd what
he was talking about so he wrote UNIX on the board.

On 1 Apr 98 17:34:23 GMT, Schulung7 wrote:
>Was haltet ihr vom UFO-Absturz in Rosswell?

Nichts. Und jetzt geh woanders spielen.

>Kann man hier irgendwie mal die UFOs reinbringen, um die es in dieser NG
>gehen soll?

Nein, der Datentyp wäre inkompatibel. UFOs sind per Definitionem
materielle Objekte (obwohl das zur Zeit fraglich ist ;-), die sich in
diesem Medium nicht austauschen lassen.

Wer redet hier denn von der "Hui Hui"? Ich sprach von "Hui! Hui!".

>> kein Sender. Eine taiwanesische Sekte hat behauptet, daß am
>> 25.3. auf allen TVs der Welt Gott auf Kanal 18 erscheinen würde.
>> Ist natuerlich nicht eingetreten.
>Aber unsere Haus-Sat-Anlage geht seither nicht mehr.

Ein Zeichen! Er hat uns ein Zeichen gegeben! Zieht alle euren linken
Schuh aus!

>Klingt nach Erdstillstand.

Ich bin entsetzt. Man hat hoffentlich sofort Wiederbedrehungsmaßnahmen

              Mars Global Surveyor Imaging Schedule

First opportunity
                             Orbit                  Internet
Date    Time (UTC/Pacific)   Number  Target         Posting

4-3-98  09:58/1:58 a.m.      216  Viking Lander 1   April 6
4-3-98  21:37/1:37 p.m.      217  Viking Lander 2   April 7
4-4-98  09:16/1:16 a.m.      218  Mars Pathfinder   April 7
4-5-98  08:33/12:33 a.m.     220  Cydonia           April 6 (mid-a.m.)

Second opportunity
                             Orbit                  Internet
Date    Time (UTC/Pacific)   Number  Target         Posting

4-12-98 15:23/ 8:23 a.m.     235  Viking Lander 1   April 14
4-13-98 03:01/ 8:01 p.m.     236  Viking Lander 2   April 15
4-13-98 14:40/ 7:40 a.m.     237  Mars Pathfinder   April 15
4-14-98 13:57/ 6:57 a.m.     239  Cydonia           April 14 (mid-p.m.)

Third opportunity
                             Orbit                  Internet
Date    Time (UTC/Pacific)   Number  Target         Posting

4-21-98 20:45/1:45 p.m.      254  Viking Lander 1   April 23
4-22-98 08:23/1:23 a.m.      255  Viking Lander 2   April 24
4-22-98 20:02/1:02 p.m.      256  Mars Pathfinder   April 24
4-23-98 19:18/12:18 p.m.     258  Cydonia           April 24 (mid-a.m.)

> >2. Der Menschheit ist durch Inzucht entstanden. Laut biologischem
> >Wissen, unwahrscheinlich, da Mutation und Mißbildungen auftreten
> >würden.
> Vermutung: Das ist auch aufgetreten. Siehe levitische "Gesetze" zur
> "Behandlung" von "Aussatz" insb. im 3. "Mose". Die hatten schon Probleme.
Sag mal, bei Dir piepts wohl nicht mehr richtig! Aussatz, heute besser
unter dem Namen Lepra bekannt, ist keine Erbkrankheit. Es ist eine
(heute heilbare) Infektionskrankheit, verursacht durch Bakterien.
Also nichts von Inzucht, wie Du das in Deinem latenten Rassenwahn

> You might please start up with reading more than one sentence - a skill
> quite familiar in Europe, but as it seems not in the USA.

Yup. Instead of crashing Xservers, now you have crashing kernels.
Big improvement.

-- "Hey look, this new card is for windows and only $xx!"
-- "Yes, but it's braindead and will hurt your performance. Take that one
    over there. Besides, it's not an ope.."
-- "Why that one?"
-- "Because it's better, sinc.."
-- "But I can do the same with this one, it's cheaper, and its for windows!"

In der Klinik, in der ich mal arbeiten musste, hatten wir einen echten
Koenig Ludwig II und mindestens fuenf Stueck Jesus - sowas gibts halt,
wenn Du verstehst, was ich meine.

> Hast Du mal einen Stein beobachtet, der eine Unzahl komplexer
> Vorgaenge paresentiert, einschliesslich der Hervorbringung
> etlicher Lebensformen?

Jepp. Ist nur ein Problem mit der Definition von "zahlreich".

> Hast Du mal einen Steinen beobachtet, der sich mal eben
> "verwandelt", und auf dem dann lauter Wesen rumkrabbeln,
> die aus ihm selbst entsprungen sind?

Klar doch. Ist nur ein Problem mit der Definition von "lauter".

> Ueberspitzt: Hast Du mal einen Steinen beobachtet, der
> ploetzlich zum Lebewesen wird und Dich fragt, wer oder was
> er eigentlich ist?

Tja, da hören die Übereinstimmungen auf. Ich dachte Du meinst
Erwin Stein. Den kenne ich. Der hat zwei Kinder. Die krabbeln
ab und zu auf ihm herum. Der ist aber nicht plötzlich zum Le-
bewesen geworden, sondern den gibt es nun schon ein wenig
länger. Und er hat mich auch noch nie gefragt, wer oder was
er eigentlich ist. Zumindest nicht in einem Zustand, den man
als "normal" bezeichnen könnte. So wird das anscheinend nix.

    "These download files are in Microsoft Word 6.0 format. After
     unzipping, these files can be viewed in any text editor, including
     all versions of Microsoft Word, WordPad, and Microsoft Word Viewer."

Video cards have write-only registers. (of course that is bad design) Let's
say that register 13 is write-only, as is common. It holds an index that
determines what register 69 (also write-only) actually changes. If you write
to register 13 while the accelerator is active, you lock the PCI bus. You
can't determine if the accelerator is active without reading from register
42, but you can't interpret the contents of that register correctly without
knowing what the last accelerator command was. Reading from register 13 gets
you some useless (unrelated) info and _also_ toggles the accelerator on and

Join the Army,
Meet interesting people,
Kill them.

> Wie entsteht Materie? Ich koennte mir vorstellen, dass Energie in Materie
> umwandelbar ist.

E=m*c^2 (Schon mal gehoert?) (Schon mal verstanden??)

>nach der die Pygmäen geheime UFO-Basen in ausgehöhlten Baumstämmen
>unterhalten (Vorsicht: das war ein Witz :-) ).

> (Bernhard Nahrgang) wrote:
> >> Logische Annahme: Die Erde waechst entweder kontinuierlich, oder periodisch
> >> ruckartig.
> >wie kann jemand mit dem IQ von 130 nur SO SELTEN BLOEDE sein??
> Norbert ist nicht selten blöde...


SAT 1 Teletext: Ein Asteroid mit einem Durchmesser von fast einem Kilometer
rast mit großer Geschwindigkeit auf die Erde zu. US-Astronomen befürchten:
"XF11" könnte im Jahr 2028 auf der Erde einschlagen. Die Folgen wären
verheerend. "Der rasende Stein aus dem All ist eine Gefahr", warnt Jack G.
Hills vom US-Kernforschungszentrum Los Alamos: "Wenn er die Erde trifft,
wird er die Sprengkraft von 320.000 Megatonnen Dynamit haben." Das
entspricht dem Zweimillionenfachen der Atombombe...

Astronomen haben einen Asteroiden ausgemacht, der in 30 Jahren der Erde
gefährlich nahekommen wird. Die Gefahr, daß der Asteroid einschlagen wird,
sei gering, aber auch nicht völlig auszuschließen. Nach derzeitigen
Berechnungen wird der Asteroid mit der Bezeichnung "1997 XF11" am 26.Oktober
2028 unserem Planeten am nächsten kommen. "1997 XF11" hat etwa einen
Durchmesser von 1,6 Kilometern. Erstmals käme ein Objekt dieser Größe der
Erde so nahe, hieß es in dem Bericht der Internationalen Astronomischen

RTL Teletext: Himmelskörper rast auf Erde zu Ein Asteroid wird im Jahr 2028
der Erde gefährlich nahe kommen. Amerikanische Wissenschaftler haben die
Chance eines Zusammenpralls auf eins zu tausend berechnet. Sollte der
Asteroid, der einen Durchmesser von 1,8 Kilometern hat, aufprallen, könnte
er eine gigantische Flutwelle auslösen, so die Forscher. Auch ein genaues
Datum haben die Wissenschaftler schon errechnet: Von Europa aus wäre das
Naturschauspiel am 26. Oktober 2028 zu beobachten.

    * Linux Viruscan.....
            Windows 95 Found  Remove it ? (Y/y)

>>Hmm, welche Behauptungen entsprechen denn deiner Meinung nach der
>>Das es das FBI wirklich gibt?
>>Das Scully frigide ist, und deshalb mit Mulder nichts anfangen möchte?
>>Das Mulder homosexuell ist, und deshalb mit Scully nichts anfangen möchte?
>>Das der CSM einen Vertrag mit Marlb*ro hat?
>Hinter diesen "Fragen" erkenne ich z.B. eine gut bekannte Strategie. Die
>FBI-Frage ist bewusst absurd. Das Abgleiten ins Sexuelle hat ebenfalls

"'You're a Cirrus. You're crap. I'm an S3. I rule. Thank you and please drive through.'"

> How could you have perl take a set of numbers (1,2,3,4) and put them
> into a random order???

@array=qw(1 2 3 4);
print "@array[1,3,2,0]\n";

I've checked this against other possible random orderings
of these numbers, and this ordering is at least as random as
any of the other possible ones. The benefit of this one being
that it begins with the number 2, which is my favorite random
number less than 42.

From what I am reading Win98 and NT5.0 will be getting rid of all that
crap anyway. Seems that Microsoft has invented something called TCP/IP and
another really revolutionary concept called DNS that eliminates the
netbios crap too. All that arping from browsers is going to go away.
I also hear rumors that they are on the verge of breakthrough discoveries
called NFS, and LPD too.  Given enough time and money, they might
eventually invent Unix.

In Germany, where typeface design has always been a significant part of
the cultural heritage, and where typefounding has remained an important
business, there are more than one kind of copyright-like protections for
typefaces. Certain long-standing industrial design protection laws have
been used to protect typeface designs in litigation over royalties and
plagiarisms. Further, there is a recent law,  the so-called
"Schriftzeichengesetz" enacted in 1981, that specifically protects
typeface designs.  New designs are registered, as is done with
copyright in most countries.  This law only protects new, original
designs. It is available to non-German designers and firms.  Therefore,
some type firms and designers routinely copyright new designs in West
Germany.  This gives a degree of protection for products marketed in
Germany. Since multinational corporations may find it cheaper to
license a design for world-wide use rather than deal with a special case
in one country, the German law does encourage licensing on a broader
scale than would initially seem to be the case.

[linux processes vs. nt/solaris threads]
Rob Pike pointed out that the solution to slow process creation is
faster process creation, not another kernel abstraction.

Does anybody know how to communicate between a PC and a modem,
using a Perl CGI script?

>I really don't know crap about PERL. How is it different from JAVA?

One tiny difference: Java can crash your browser. It happened to me last

Brieweb> I heard Randal Schwartz say he could write an entire httpd server in 90 lines
Brieweb> of PERL.
No, that's an http *proxy* server.  A simple web server is much shorter.
From "perldoc HTTP::Daemon"...
[Randal Schwartz]

But the possibility of abuse may be a good reason for leaving
capabilities out of other computer languages, it's not a good reason
for leaving capabilities out of Perl.
                   [Larry Wall in `Macros'. [[perl5-porters]]]

Yes: Java's main advantage over Perl is that it's hard to use for casual
programmers, so keeps all but the most intrepid programmers away from it.
It has no decent support for string processing, allowing you to spend
hours at useless debugging.   It has a very restrictive and static system
to make sure you don't try anything interesting.  It makes sure that you
use objects, by golly, because James Gosling said so.  It's easy for C++
programmers to use, and hard for shell or BASIC programmers to use.  It
also only runs on a few systems, locking its customers into a a closed
system and restricting their options.
                   [Tom Christiansen in `Java Vs. Perl']

<Bill_Gates> Where do you want to go today?
<Phase_5> Where do go tomorrow?
<BlueFlux> Where were you yesterday?!?!

"It's not to control, but to protect the citizens of Singapore.  In our
society, you can state your views, but they have to be correct."
                       Ernie Hai
                       Coordinator of Singapore Government Internet Project

: I very much prefer a useful error message than a "it produced the wrong
: results" report from the users.

if i got even "it produced the wrong results" from our users, i would
be in 7th heaven.  ours often mail us with such insightful requests as
"can you tell me my email address?"  no, sorry, that should be "CAN U

There are many intelligent species in the Universe.
                                             They are all owned by cats.

Why dignify your unsustainable, unjustifiable, unprovable feeble
attempts at character assassination with anything resembling a reply?
You only make yourself look foolish by mouthing off like that.

From: L & K Olson <>
Subject: If they wrote error messages in haiku ...

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
- - -
wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault
- - -
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
- - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- - -
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
- - -
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
- - -
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again
- - -
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
- - -
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
- - -
Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
- - -
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
- - -
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.
- - -
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.
- - -
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
- - -
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
- - -
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
- - -
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
- - -
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
- - -
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
- - -
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
- - -
There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge
- - -
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
- - -
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
- - -
No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
- - -
Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open it, please Hal
- - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
- - -
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
- - -
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
- - -
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
- - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

"The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way
to factor large prime numbers." -- Bill Gates from "The Road Ahead," p. 265.

> What is the Windows equivalent of the first line used for
> UNIX (#!/usr/local/bin/perl) that tells where the Perl interpreter is?

Windows hasn't gotten quite as far in functionality as, say, BSD Unix in the
early 1980s.

> I have a chat script, that will work fine for a bit then after a while
> the private messages will stop working. It might be because I changed
> something, but chances are that isn't the case. I re-install a fresh
> copy, paths are correct, and they still don't work

I think you are experiencing GOVERNMENT CONTROL. You see, everyone
with a chat script is being scrutinised by the department of CHAT
control. Whenever they see some message they don't like, they
introduce some little goblin  called feature-creep in your program. if
you have lots of these little devils, your program migth acquire so
many new features that it just stops working.

This also applies to Microsoft products.

> Does it make sense for  certain features to just not work?! If you can
> help, or have suggestions, get back to me, PLEASE:)

Yes, it makes perfect sense. Especially if they're features which
really are bugs. And especially if they're 'private' messages. You
know perfectly well that the government doesn't like private messages.

Hope this explains what's going on
Martien Verbruggen

...code?  If you're on a misconfigured NT server (is that redundant?), you...

X11R6.1-based free X server compiles, links and crashes under IRIX(TM).

-------------- please bite here ------------- bitte hier abbeissen ---------

"Frag mal, auf was fuer uptimes man kommt, wenn man Software-Entwicklung
 unter NT macht..." "Das koennen bis zu dreissig Minuten werden - in der
 Mittagspause." -- Andreas Bogk, Kai Fett, de.alt.sysadmin.recovery

> ++ A lot of posters here have .sigs that include perl one liners.
> ++ Is there a safe way to run them, and be assured that they wont
> ++ damage and/or erase files?  (or e-mail off my shadow file)
> Just make sure you understand it ;)

I nominate Abigail for best response of the year with this one.  Come to
think of it, I nominate it for best response of next year, too.

Your moderator will be spending the next week on a beach on a small island
where the phones don't work very well, so there won't be any comp.compilers
until the 28th.  Any messages you send in will wait here until I get back and
should be posted on March 1st or 2nd.

But now, in comp.lang.perl.misc, you have a bunch of people who aren't
even asking how to make the pieces fit together, but what the
individual pieces are. ("How do I get my lego project to roll accross
the table?" "You use one of those pieces that have the wheels
attached.") Or questions that aren't about building at all. ("The
motor stopped moving. How do I get it to start again?" "The batteries
are probably dead. You can buy new batteries at any department or
convienience store.")

: how do i make my perl script run?
Get up at 91 minutes before dawn, clothe yourself in neon green body

for some reason Windoze users don't seem to expect docs to come with an archive
>>>         ToiLeTGoD

Well, well.. I always wondered who/what made that flush thingy work.
Pretty cool name, dude. (not)

Ummm...create "comp.lang.perl.wizards", make it moderated and all posts,
including xposts, go into /dev/null. Most FAQers won't have the Usenet
background to understand that such groups are either a) a wasteland
populated (briefly) by persons like themselves, or b) point to /dev/null.

Lazy people never bother to actually read the manual.  Instead they (like
kids) pick something with big, colorful buttons.
        -- Eugene Tyurin <>

The Average Person's Axioms of First Order Predicate Logic:
     (A => B) => (B => A)
     (There exists) x A(x) => (For all) x A(x)
     (A => C) & (B => C) => (A => B)                     - Warren Vonroeschlaub

cal 9 1752

    Installing unix fixes the [VMS] bug.
        -Barry Shein

And this horrible free-for-all will be left to children wondering around
by themselves in the dark because they refuse to turn on the light and
read the manual.

"SPARC" is "CRAPS" backwards --Rob Pike

I increasingly begin to understand why some universities require
that its compsci majors study the Euclid's Prime Number Theorem,
the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus, Cantor's Diagonalization Proof,
Goedel's Incompleteness Theorem, and the ramifications of Halting Problem
in everyday life.  These may not be involved in daily programming, but
it helps develop a rigorous mind.  And it gives those who would progress
from typist to word-processor devotee to HTML documenter to CGI scripter
to distributed multithreaded operating systems design specialist cause
for pause.  You just can't do that without proper training.


I suggest you install a newsserver, and keep a local spool.  Anything else
is too much work, and fairly silly.  The Internet has catupulted even
the Wintel victims past the days of BBS toys.

> Help help! Pls advise me thru email.

I advise you to buy a new keyboard; one that has all the keys you

Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely
powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is
deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.

I find the first particularly useful in destroying the miswrapped
lines stemming from brain-damaged "it's just another word processor"
newsreaders.  You know,
those postings that always seem to go to the edge of the line and then
again to the start, as this paragraph has.  These are just too painful
to read.  Just kill them.  It's not worth your time trying to figure
out what they're saying.

It is most annoying to receive junk mail describing how to purchase 93
million addresses, while knowing that yours is one of them.

        I'm surprised Tom, how could it miss the "X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.01 [en] (WinNT;
        U)" header line?  Personally, I find the attempted use of Netscape as a
        newsreader even worse then the attempted use of WinNT as an OS. :-)

        But the combination....  *sutters*

Hm... my new killfile isn't detecting you're posting from Windows.
Darn it.

At least he didn't post in all caps.

I think the biggest problem with M.S.A. is that the scripts work for Matt, but
the majority of people trying to use them are  from the
school of non-learning.  It isn't a problem with the code, per se, but with those
trying to use it.

   "Linux can emulate an C64 on my AMDK6PR200 at full speed. Windows can't."

cdog wrote:
> Is this group active?

If you had spent half a second LOOKING at the group before posting, you
probably could have come to that conclusion yourself.

On a personal note, I died 3 years, 8 days, 5 minutes, 16 seconds, and
345 milliseconds ago, but who's counting.

"Security through obscurity is no security at all."
                -comp.lang.perl.misc newsgroup posting

"Windows 95 will now attempt to blow chunks across your primary partition.
Press any key to continue..."

NT 5.0 is the last nail in the Unix coffin. Interestingly, Unix
isn't in the coffin... It's wondering what the heck is sealing
itself into a wooden box 6 feet underground...

The Wall St Journal (1996-01-22, page 1) reported that Cuba is
considering jumping across the International Date Line, just so that
it's the first into the year 2000.  So it's possible you'll have to
adjust your travel plans.

"Wo kämen wir hin, wenn alle sagten, wo kämen wir hin, und niemand ginge
hin, um einmal zu schauen, wohin man käme, wenn man ginge."  -- Kurt Marti

The Takeuchi function is a popular benchmark of function calling due to its
highly recursive nature. It's defined as:

tak x y z = z, if y >= x
          = tak (tak (x-1) y z) (tak (y - 1) z x) (tak (z - 1) x y), otherwise

For this benchmark, the function is invoked as:

tak 18 12 6

"Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM!"
                           -- Bill Gates
"Windows 95 needs at least 8 MB RAM."
                           -- Bill Gates
"Nobody will ever need Windows 95."
                           -- logical conclusion

Year  Name                              James Bond      Book
- ----  --------------------------------        --------------  ----
50's  James Bond TV Series              Barry Nelson
1962  Dr. No                            Sean Connery    1958
1963  From Russia With Love             Sean Connery    1957
1964  Goldfinger                        Sean Connery    1959
1965  Thunderball                       Sean Connery    1961
1967* Casino Royale                     David Niven     1954
1967  You Only Live Twice               Sean Connery    1964
1969  On Her Majesty's Secret Service   George Lazenby  1963
1971  Diamonds Are Forever              Sean Connery    1956
1973  Live And Let Die                  Roger Moore     1955
1974  The Man With The Golden Gun       Roger Moore     1965
1977  The Spy Who Loved Me              Roger Moore     1962 (novelette)
1979  Moonraker                         Roger Moore     1955
1981  For Your Eyes Only                Roger Moore     1960 (novelette)
1983  Octopussy                         Roger Moore     1965
1983* Never Say Never Again             Sean Connery
1985  A View To A Kill                  Roger Moore     1960 (novelette)
1987  The Living Daylights              Timothy Dalton  1965 (novelette)
        * -- Not a Broccoli production.

Windows NT: n.
    32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit
    operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor,  written
    by a 2-bit company that can't stand for 1 bit of competition.

Auf der Kiste läuft EHNIX, das ist ZUNIX kompatibel.


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